The Sexual Bucket List (Woman's Apparently)

[fatshaft]

http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/the-sexual-bucket-list-50-things-to-do-sexually-before-you-die-2073750.html

 

 

Kiss a girl (there's one Redstar won't have managed yet)

Have anal (...and one he will)

Have a threesome

Engage in group sex

Have phone sex

Masturbate

Use a vibrator

Use a sex toy on someone else

Be tied up

Tie someone up

Have sex in a public space

Be a voyeur and watch others having sex (live, porn does not count)

Sex in a car

Sex at a drive-in

 

15. Mile-high club

16. Sex with a stranger

17. One-night stand

18. Married sex (the best kind, in my opinion)

19. Sex on a boat

20. Sex in a body of water

21. Light spanking

22. Read erotica

23. Play strip poker/Monopoly/card game

24. Sex in the shower

25. Sex standing up against a wall

26. Sex with no kissing

27. Sex in the pitch black

28. Sex in the broad daylight

29. Making out with no sex long after you're no longer a virgin

30. Sex in a tent in the wilderness

31. Watch porn together

32. Watch porn alone

33. Learn to give yourself multiple orgasms

34. Sex on the beach

35. Blindfolds

 

36. Using ice sexually

37. Sexual role play

38. Whipped cream

39. La Perla lingerie sex

40. Frederick's of Hollywood lingerie sex

41. Sex with someone much older

42. Sex with someone younger (legal!)

43. Sex in a foreign country, possibly with a foreigner

44. A quickie in a skirt

45. A longie in the rain

46. Sex in the ocean while people swim all around you

47. Feather ticklers

48. Sex while "altered" whether by alcohol or something else

49. Learn to orgasm in less than five minutes from intercourse alone

50. Silent sex in a full house

[looksgoodinred]

and how many have your previous amours accomplished, FS, with or without your assistance?

[fatshaft]

and how many have your previous amours accomplished, FS, with or without your assistance?

I would never be so forward, or so ungallant as to ask fair lady such a thing. I think they were all virgins anyway.

[looksgoodinred]

i'd suggest that a few might be missing:

 

in a moving elevator?

at work, during a break?

on a pool table?

in a deserted alley (or does that count as sex in a public space?)

striptease. for just your significant other?

 

EDIT: on a moving train

 

i wonder how much a man's list (other than the obvious ways), would differ from the women's?

[The Boofon]

I would never be so forward, or so ungallant as to ask fair lady such a thing. I think they were all virgins anyway.

 

Plus the teachers keep a close eye on the pupils these days.

[RUL]

i'd suggest that a few might be missing:

 

in a moving elevator?

at work, during a break?

on a pool table?

in a deserted alley (or does that count as sex in a public space?)

striptease. for just your significant other?

 

EDIT: on a moving train

 

i wonder how much a man's list (other than the obvious ways), would differ from the women's?

You'd assume it would be fairly similar?

[fatshaft]

i'd suggest that a few might be missing:

 

in a moving elevator?

at work, during a break?

on a pool table?

in a deserted alley (or does that count as sex in a public space?)

striptease. for just your significant other?

 

EDIT: on a moving train

 

i wonder how much a man's list (other than the obvious ways), would differ from the women's?

Because you've done them all?

[dervish]

I reckon probably blokes and birds are similar but anything with a big story to it is less likely to turn on a bloke and more likely to turn on a girl (in general).

 

As for elevator I do reckon even I'd struggle to end unless it was a hell of a big building! Can just imagine getting to the top "had on I'll send us back down... what the one to close the doors quickly again?".

[Redstar]

Because you've done them all?

You're beginning to sound a bit desperate Chief

[boboisared]

You're beginning to sound a bit desperate Chief

[fatshaft]

You're beginning to sound a bit desperate Chief

[Ke1t]

I read once that if you were to combine a man and a woman's perfect fantasy it would go along the lines of; The Chick is trapped in a castle by an evil King or such, her Knight in shining armour rides to her rescue, sweeps her onto his horse, carries her back to his magical palace... and cums all over her face.

 

Sounds about right to me.

 

Chicks just make shit way too complicated.

 

Women's magazines don't help, either.

 

They have articles titled; Ten Things Women Should Know About Men

 

Try reading them. They're about as far detached from reality as you can possibly imagine.

 

Any List.. and that's EVERY list, I'll wager... that doesn't have dick sucking, beer handing, anal experimentation, tickets for the fitba, banging her best mate, or dressing up like an 18 year old Swedish Schoolgirl... is a worthless list.

 

Instead they have laughable shit like, try rubbing his shoulders before snuggling down to watch a movie. Sorry, a chick rubs my shoulders and it better finish with me jizzing all over whichever part of her is nearest my dick when I pop. There's going to be no movie. No snuggling. Try rubbing my shoulders to see if I'm kidding.

 

Make him his favourite meal. Bollocks. Just order me a pizza and give me a handjob while I'm watching The Matrix. Or don't order me a pizza. I don't even have to be watching The Matrix... just give me a hand job.

 

Women's magazines give women idiotic expectations and notions about the male psyche.

 

Here's an example... tricky to read, but if you can follow the crappy res text it's good for a laugh.

 

2 is a belter. Learn car maintenance. That'll be way better than filling your mouth with crushed ice and sucking his cock, for sure.

 

17 Let him see you straighten your stocking... cracking idea. You can let him see your collection of Vera Lynne records and your Luftwaffe Identification Cards inna, what with it still being 19-fucking-40, apparently.

 

[caledonia]

i'd suggest that a few might be missing:

 

in a moving elevator?

at work, during a break?

on a pool table?

in a deserted alley (or does that count as sex in a public space?)

striptease. for just your significant other?

 

EDIT: on a moving train

 

i wonder how much a man's list (other than the obvious ways), would differ from the women's?

 

I have a pool table

just saying

[ChutneyLove]

Back on topic, I've fucked a few birds where it was a bit like having sex with a bucket.

[dervish]

Fucked a few I wished were wearing a bucket.

[dervish]

 

19 is my favorite.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w

[fatshaft]

Back on topic, I've fucked a few birds where it was a bit like having sex with a bucket.

One could conclude that the issue may not be with the container?

[Henry]

19 is my favorite.

 

 

I like 10 and 15.

 

I give my woman two black eyes if she forgets to tape-record radio shows she knows I'd be sorry to miss.

 

 

 

[ChutneyLove]

One could conclude that the issue may not be with the container?

Container? Some of them would be overjoyed at that description. A 20' GP container at that!

[looksgoodinred]

I have a pool table

just saying

 

i guess that one has been knocked off your bucket list then

[looksgoodinred]

I read once that if you were to combine a man and a woman's perfect fantasy it would go along the lines of; The Chick is trapped in a castle by an evil King or such, her Knight in shining armour rides to her rescue, sweeps her onto his horse, carries her back to his magical palace... and cums all over her face.

 

Sounds about right to me.

 

Chicks just make shit way too complicated.

 

Women's magazines don't help, either.

 

They have articles titled; Ten Things Women Should Know About Men

 

Try reading them. They're about as far detached from reality as you can possibly imagine.

 

Any List.. and that's EVERY list, I'll wager... that doesn't have dick sucking, beer handing, anal experimentation, tickets for the fitba, banging her best mate, or dressing up like an 18 year old Swedish Schoolgirl... is a worthless list.

 

Instead they have laughable shit like, try rubbing his shoulders before snuggling down to watch a movie. Sorry, a chick rubs my shoulders and it better finish with me jizzing all over whichever part of her is nearest my dick when I pop. There's going to be no movie. No snuggling. Try rubbing my shoulders to see if I'm kidding.

 

Make him his favourite meal. Bollocks. Just order me a pizza and give me a handjob while I'm watching The Matrix. Or don't order me a pizza. I don't even have to be watching The Matrix... just give me a hand job.

 

Women's magazines give women idiotic expectations and notions about the male psyche.

 

Here's an example... tricky to read, but if you can follow the crappy res text it's good for a laugh.

 

2 is a belter. Learn car maintenance. That'll be way better than filling your mouth with crushed ice and sucking his cock, for sure.

 

17 Let him see you straighten your stocking... cracking idea. You can let him see your collection of Vera Lynne records and your Luftwaffe Identification Cards inna, what with it still being 19-fucking-40, apparently.

 

 

what friggin year is that magazine from, Kelt?

i don't disagree with your general commentary about romantic notions, but i don't think there's much mention of those in the (supposed) bucket list.

[fatshaft]

Container? Some of them would be overjoyed at that description. A 20' GP container at that!

...as opposed to 'bucket'?

[ChutneyLove]

...as opposed to 'bucket'?

That's what I'm alluding to - bucket would be kind!

 

Funny thing women's fuds. You can never tell if a lassie's going to have a nice, tidy fud or a gaping mess. Sometimes get a right surprise from a wee petite thing. At the same time, a right slapper that's been round the block and squeezed a few sprogs out can often have something in 'good condition'. Think it's all to do with core muscles or something. Lassies that go horse riding have often got great control over their vag muscles - I recommend nailing a few if anyone gets the chance - unfortunately you have to put up with their dire horsey chat to get there.

[The Boofon]

I like 10 and 15.

 

I give my woman two black eyes if she forgets to tape-record radio shows she knows I'd be sorry to miss.

 

She'll kill you when she finds out about iplayer.

[Bobby Connor]

That's what I'm alluding to - bucket would be kind!

 

Funny thing women's fuds. You can never tell if a lassie's going to have a nice, tidy fud or a gaping mess. Sometimes get a right surprise from a wee petite thing. At the same time, a right slapper that's been round the block and squeezed a few sprogs out can often have something in 'good condition'. Think it's all to do with core muscles or something. Lassies that go horse riding have often got great control over their vag muscles - I recommend nailing a few if anyone gets the chance - unfortunately you have to put up with their dire horsey chat to get there.

 

Horsey lassies have nice arses too. They get spread out a bit from all that time in the saddle. Mint.

[tightbreeks]

number 6 on kelt's list, which looks like it was from way back when.

 

invite a fight!

 

like, get her in a headlock until she gives in!

[Ke1t]

what friggin year is that magazine from, Kelt?

i don't disagree with your general commentary about romantic notions, but i don't think there's much mention of those in the (supposed) bucket list.

 

I dunno... but I'm going to say it's from the 70s, given the hairdo and mouser on the dude in the picture. Plus the Avocado bathroom suite is a dead giveaway for the 70s.

 

That list, now that I've had a bit of time to digest it, is in fact the pre-internet version of overly-attached girlfriend.

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zg6iMDfOl9E&feature=related