The Christmas Fight

[Ke1t]

Stressful time of year for a lot of people, probably the majority, I'd reckon.

 

Anyone had their first Christmas fight with the other half yet?

 

Just had a bit of a dust up with the wife, over what will be referred to as 'The Missing Turkey Incident' in years to come.

 

I let her get to the "Screaming in Arabic and looking for something sharp" stage before opening mediation.

 

That's like Defcon 2 in NATO parlance. One step away from open hostilities

 

How we all doing?

 

Relaxing Christmas or close to dumping someone's bloodied carcase in the Dee?

[fatshaft]

The secret to xmas happiness = nae wife

[dj_bollocks]

I don't get why people get stressed out about it... Just another day... Especially considering that most of us aren't exactly god fearing Christians... I much prefer Hogmanay/New Year

[looksgoodinred]

No stress here. Never has been. Organization is the key. I know what I have to do and plan out when to get it done, leaving extra time. I'm not much for domestic arguments at the best of times, and I'm no worse around Christmas.

 

What happened (or didn't) with the turkey, Kelt?

[Ke1t]

I don't get why people get stressed out about it... Just another day... Especially considering that most of us aren't exactly god fearing Christians... I much prefer Hogmanay/New Year

 

Lot of people do get stressed around this time of year... suicide rates jump inna... be it through emotional, financial or some other reason.

 

For my part I'm pretty relaxed about the whole thing, and that's with me doing the bulk of the prepping for Christmas. While the wife does her Christmas Cards and Party invites pish I'm writing up the Christmas menu, shopping for all the stuff and doing 90% of the cooking. She's just highly strung, though, and if anything doesn't go exactly s she plans or expects then she gets all worked up.

 

Even innocuous shit sets her off at this time of year.

 

Case in point... I come home with some shopping yesterday, and the loon notices a 3 foot long French Loaf sticking out the bag.

 

"DADDY!" he yells, waving it above his head like a bready lightsaber.... "What's this?!"

 

"French Bread" I tell him.

 

"Can I hit you with it?" he says, poking it threateningly at me.

 

"Nope... but if you can eat the whole thing I'll give you 20 bucks." I tell him.

 

20 bucks is 20 bucks, and the loon immediately starts tearing into the thing... I get a 20 out of my wallet and wave it encouragingly at him... knowing full well a few inches of dry bread later he's going to grind to a halt.

 

Then the wife appears, sees her 5 year old loon trying to gnaw his way through a 3 foot French Loaf, his father cheering him on while waving cash, and grabs it away from him.

 

"What's going on?" She demands, like she doesn't fucking know.

 

Without getting into the whole thing, she seemed to think I was actually going to let him eat a 3 foot long French Loaf for my own entertainment.

 

Anyway, he only got about 2 bites of the thing before his mother came and ruined the fun... but he got the 20 bucks anyway.

 

Ach, it's Christmas

[Jigot]

It'll kick off shortly in here Kelt, I can tell you. There is a pile of Christmas cards and Roses sweets, of barricade proportions to be dished out.I should have done it weeks ago but I couldnae be arsed. I couldnae be arsed then and I cannae be arsed noo.

 

It will definitely erupt tomorrow when she finds out I used maist of the mushrooms she had got for our T-bones. I used them for my fryup yesterday while she snored like a stuck pig. We'll be ootside, stripped to the waist, toe tae toe and blow for blow when auld Lizzie's on the telly.

[caledonia]

What pisses me off about xmas is toys that you need a chainsaw to open

Those hard plastic ones with screws and about 20 tie-wraps as well

Toys that need batteries are also a stress unless you have them to hand and have the correct screwdriver as well.

[The Boofon]

What pisses me off about xmas is toys that you need a chainsaw to open

Those hard plastic ones with screws and about 20 tie-wraps as well

Toys that need batteries are also a stress unless you have them to hand and have the correct screwdriver as well.

 

 

I get all of that shit off and put batteries in before wrapping. Saves a ton of grief on Christmas morning.

[Redstar]

Had an about 6/10 "blow out" with the missus last nite...hopefully that

[muttondressedaslamb]

Hopefully I'll be ok as I'm a guest everywhere tomorrow. I think that's the key, absolve yourself of all responsibility for the big day and just turn up. Also helps if you haven't seen your family for ages so you can be treated like royalty.

Then I'll swoop away from all family on boxing day to go on holiday. :D

 

You never know though, I wouldn't totally discount an argument.

[Jigot]

Had an about 6/10 "blow out" with the missus last nite...hopefully that

[muttondressedaslamb]

Hope yer tooled up Redstar.Yer outnumbered, I better get ready to rumble as she's just found out about the mushrooms and called me a greedy selfish bastard and that everything is left for her to do and that she's ready for the off.I told her nivver, ivver get my hopes up like that again.

Weegie wifies cannae half swear mind you.

 

I think you should do a runner to the pub

[Jambo83]

No had mine yet, it'll no doubt happen when i've had about two bottles of red wine and a few beers on Xmas night

 

Saw a young couple in Asda last night falling out about buying Xmas cards, get a grip ya minky wee pair eh roasters!

[fatshaft]

Had an about 6/10 "blow out" with the missus last nite...hopefully that

[The Boofon]

All quiet on the western front and hopefully calm waters ahead.

 

Need to get a move on tidying up before she comes home from work mind you otherwise it might change the outlook.

 

Nothing like living life on the edge Bri.

 

I used to have to try and come down from a 7 gram cocaine binge before she came back from work.

 

Never ever managed it but she still married me.

 

A bit of tidying up is well within your means.

 

Good luck and Merry Christmas. Fingers crossed she's bought you a Dyson.

[fatshaft]

Nothing like living life on the edge Bri.

I used to have to try and come down from a 7 gram cocaine binge before she came back from work.

 

Never ever managed it but she still married me.

 

A bit of tidying up is well within your means.

 

Good luck and Merry Christmas. Fingers crossed she's bought you a Dyson.

OMG, you're so cool, can I be your friend?

[The Boofon]

The real irony being, a cunt that ends up in Health & Safety and who posts much but nothing ever interesting has never done anything illegal or controversial in his life. He couldn't even get the quantities right as 7g is a hoorin amount for a regular user let alone a drugs virgin like him.

 

 

No it isn't.

 

Merry Christmas. Tit.

[tommo1903]

The real irony being, a cunt that ends up in Health & Safety and who posts much but nothing ever interesting has never done anything illegal or controversial in his life. He couldn't even get the quantities right as 7g is a hoorin amount for a regular user let alone a drugs virgin like him.

 

Exactly.

 

The boys a lying cunt, wouldn't touch an illegal drug in his life.

[The Boofon]

Exactly.

 

The boys a lying cunt, wouldn't touch an illegal drug in his life.

 

 

 

Merry Christmas to you ana you shit stirring cunt.

[Jigot]

Ding fuckin Ding, seconds out, round two.

 

I forgot tae buy her a fuckin caird.

[Ke1t]

Ding fuckin Ding, seconds out, round two.

 

I forgot tae buy her a fuckin caird.

 

Currently at a big family get together.... half Muslims half Christians. I'm pretty much the only one drinking... but in fairness I only drink because I have to.

 

Bizarrely They're watching a show about Jews... no doubt a fight will break out over who hates the Jews the most.

 

They've already discussed how blacks deserved to be slaves... magic stuff. a little bit of racism and anti semitism, followed by a Crusade or a Jihad or both.

 

They'll remember I'm an atheist soon enough, though.

[Jigot]

Currently at a big family get together.... half Muslims half Christians. I'm pretty much the only one drinking... but in fairness I only drink because I have to.

 

Bizarrely They're watching a show about Jews... no doubt a fight will break out over who hates the Jews the most.

 

They've already discussed how blacks deserved to be slaves... magic stuff. a little bit of racism and anti semitism, followed by a Crusade or a Jihad or both.

 

They'll remember I'm an atheist soon enough, though.

Dear Jehovah Kelt, Ah've just been telt " Kilmarnock tomorrow, nae chance. How are ye getting there? " "By taxi and train my sweet" I'll make her life shit tomorrow.

Pass on my condolences to the good lady,btw.