10% Aff

[cow]

I'm a portrait man masel. Interesting faces. Faces that are written by life and experience, including of the very young.

 

 

So the faces of the very young are written by life and experience ?

 

 

Rocket Scientist - AFC Chat's Number #1 Fail Merchant.

[bonzodaddy73]

What a clusterfuck of thread this has turned into. Rocket may have had a point and im sure Pudgie could accept the criticism of his work.

Just a bit ott Rocket.

[Dynamo]

 

I'm a portrait man masel. Interesting faces. Faces that are written by life and experience, including of the very young.

 

 

So the faces of the very young are written by life and experience ?

 

 

Rocket Scientist - AFC Chat's Number #1 Fail Merchant.

 

Talking of fail's...were you not the one who claimed they had a five figure sum on Scotland gaining independence, which then transpired to be a three figure sum with the pence added on?*

 

*This may have been Caledonia ad if so my apologies.

[Dynamo]

No I have never BET on Scotland's independence. An investment is different from speculation.

 

The likelihood of independence is much less given recent polls.... I feel a thread coming on...

 

I was asking Cow. It was him or Caledonia.

The bolded part must have come through from the quote I quoted.

[Karl Fletcher]

I don't think this thread has gone how Pudgie would've hoped for.

[Ke1t]

Can people stop quoting rocket scientist, please?

 

 

 

Was just thinking the same thing.

 

Anyway, Pudgie, min... I went to my doctor a couple of years back, and it was Tornado season. We don't usually get much in the way of tornadoes here, but you do get the occasional Twister... that's what we call them over here... Twisters... and it was blowing up a fucking storm. I get off the freeway and turn into my doctor's car park, turn off the radio... I was probably listening to something loud and awesome like Zeromancer or Rammstein, full blast because I roll like that, as you know. Open the car door and all the city alarms are going mental.

 

"Fuck's up with all that?" I ask myself.

 

Then I look a few blocks South of where I was parked, and there's a fucking Tornado trying to form. A fucking tornado, Pudgie. Imagine my surprise and horror at seeing a fucking tornado

 

So I pull out my wee point and shoot... that's my camera, not my cock, though you would be excused for thinking "my wee point and shoot" is indeed a euphemism for my cock.... and I snap off a quick shot of this bastard before I race for the safety of the doctor's office, dodging flying coos and Cary Elweses. I don't know if it actually touched down or not... I don't think they qualify as proper tornadoes unless they touch the ground and spin around the place, but you can see the column pretty much fully formed. I'm calling it a fucking tornado anyway.

 

I don't know if it has any artistic merit as such, but as far as it being a pretty intense moment in my life... I mean I'm only a few hundred yards away from this thing... I was close to pissing my pants. I do know I was shrieking like a girl and flapping my arms about like a duck with a broken wing.

 

I'm going to post up some more of my pictures, because that's also how I roll. No charge

 

 

[Ke1t]

I don't think this thread has gone how Pudgie would've hoped for.

 

Don't worry, Karl.. Kelt's here to rescue the fuck out of this car crash of a thread

[Ke1t]

Took the loon to Disneyland, and we're having a great day standing in giant lines in the baking heat, while being periodically accosted by wankers in Donald Duck outfits, when some lad with a plane decides he's going to practice the arcane art of skywriting.

 

Exciting stuff, thinks I. I thought they only did that in cartoons... but apparently it's a real thing. You live and learn.

 

Unfortunately the guy was sending the wrong message.. I call this picture, Go Fuck Yourself, Jesus.

 

Ten quid to anyone who wants the original file... bit of a bargain.... ya unique picture, with two messages. One literal, one symbolic.

 

[Ke1t]

Now this next one, this next one is one of my favourites.

 

It's a big ham, with the word ALLAH written into the frosty coating.

 

If memory serves I did it for some 'ethnic diversity' photo competition.

 

I called it Allaham.

 

I did not win.

 

[cow]

The Castlemilk Lads by Marzaroli has more life and experience written on their faces than a thousand aspiring wannabe middle class fuds who boast about driving a Kia and Lexus or having more than one bathroom or being able to afford a gym and golf club membership.

 

^^^^

 

Close to tears.

[Ke1t]

This one is fairly self-explanatory..

 

[gla5gowdon]

Very underwhelming stuff pudge.

 

Keep at it if it's yo' thang tho.......yo.

[Ke1t]

This one's not a great picture... quality wise... but the content is spectacular.

 

We were in the 'Deep South' one summer, touring around the America that you only see in horror movies and Jonathan Ross shows. We stopped in at this huge flea market, which was pretty cool, and they were selling shit like Possums... which are like giant, angry rats... but these were for cooking. There was also a dog with no rear legs there, that wasn't food, though, that was someone's pet... but the one thing that caught my eye, out of the entire surreal experience o weirdness was this next item on Kelt's unsolicited photo-show.

 

It the Gold Coloured Plastic Virgin Mary Flashing Discolight Shrine and Clock Combination. A tasteful and respectful addition to any Catholic home, and a centrepiece worthy of conversation.

 

 

 

 

 

[caledonia]

 

No I have never BET on Scotland's independence. An investment is different from speculation.

 

The likelihood of independence is much less given recent polls.... I feel a thread coming on...

 

I was asking Cow. It was him or Caledonia.

The bolded part must have come through from the quote I quoted.

not guilty it was cow but one thing we can all agree on is rickets is a wind bag that just posts long winded shit

[tightbreeks]

glencoe and the buchaille? etive mor is an amazing place, plus jimmy savile's old gaff. maybe it's knocked down...

 

thinking about it, you could get some quality juxtaposition with the evil cunt's house with the mighty bidean nam bien behind, plus some tourists! I hope it's still got graffiti all over it, the council thought fuck it, that's getting left.

[Pudgie]

Fuck me! 66 replies. Fucked if I'm reading through them all with a fine toothcomb. At least it's stock to the recent posts for a while

[Ke1t]

Fuck me! 66 replies. Fucked if I'm reading through them all with a fine toothcomb. At least it's stock to the recent

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'd just concentrate on my posts if I were you... always worth a read, my posts.

[caledonia]

kelt this might help you

http://www.karltaylorphotography.co.uk/free-photography-tips-tutorials.htm

[Redstar]

Fuck me! 66 replies. Fucked if I'm reading through them all with a fine toothcomb. At least it's stock to the recent posts for a while

I wouldn't bother either Pudgie...a fine tooth comb certainly wouldn't be required to realise the majority thought the "snaps" we're both over priced and uncommercial...Thainstone's the place for that tat.

[King Street Loon]

This thread made me chuckle.

 

I thought Kelts clock had a gopher in it not the Virgin Mary.

[Karl Fletcher]

Kelt has a very hairy arm.

[Bluto10]

its tatooed hair karl from his goth rat eating youth

[Pudgie]

kelt this might help you

http://www.karltaylorphotography.co.uk/free-photography-tips-tutorials.htm

Apparently it's me that needs that.

[Ke1t]

Kelt has a very hairy arm.

 

Hairy like animal.

Just adds to the overall effect when I have a chick* in my clutches and I'm bellowing like wounded grizzly bear.

* by which I mean wife

[Redstar]

Just seen some dreadful Aiberdeen ad for some god awful local rag...a daft looking tart spouting pish about how fantastic Aiberdeen is...there was some punter with "Pudgie 9" on the back of a AFC top in one of the shots...please tell me you are not prostituting yourself out as an Aiberdeen "extra" to keep the wolf from the door in light of the fact yer "snaps" are pish?

[Ke1t]

Personally I don't get all the negativity.

 

Pictures like Pudgie's there have a market, whether one person finds them aesthetically pleasing or not.

 

One of the best selling posters of all time... 'tennis player scratching arse'. Another is 'Monkey tangled in toilet paper sitting on shitter.

 

I, myself, had a pretty obnoxious selection of posters and pictures on my wall, none of which, I'm sure, had the slightest scrap of artistic merit beyond pornographic.

 

Pudgie, I say keep on keeping on, man... Don't let the other crabs in the barrel keep you down.

 

Although, and this is just me, you might want to diversify away from 'long exposure of water on rocks in black and white'.

 

Fly free like a beautiful winged unicorn, let your imagination take you on fantastical and magical journeys of adventure and exploration, and open yourself up to new experiences.

 

Now, that last line was in fact the speech I give when I'm trying to persuade a chick to let me fuck her in the arse, but I think it translates to this situation quite well.... economy of words, and all that.

[Ke1t]

Here's a picture I took at a Scottish Festival a year or two ago...

 

...I believe Gary Glitter was arrested for having pictures of something similar on his computer.

 

[caledonia]

 

I was asking Cow. It was him or Caledonia.

The bolded part must have come through from the quote I quoted.

 

Don't expect an answer any time soon. Neither are North East and therefore unlike us, men of limited integrity. They run from tough questions.

Rickets, can I call you Rickets?

wrong again its you that runs from questions by giving insults that is why you have to give so many..

[Ke1t]

This next picture is for the 'Auld-Lad-Wearing-Little-G-String-Speedos' aficionados. If this is your kind of thing then get yourself over to St Petersburg's Peter and Paul Fortress, where literally hundreds of octogenarian geezers strip down to their tiny, tiny, little g-string/speedo things, and perform exercise routines that involve lots and lots and lots of bending at the waist and touching of toes. Just give yourself a minute to consider how that might look. Are you considering?

 

Just to throw a little individuality in there, they all seem to sport a little emblem on the front of their g-string speedos, presumably as a topic of conversation... "Ah, Ivan, I see you are vearing the George Bush speedos today." "Da, Boris, but ironically!" Hahahahahahaha etc.

 

Anyway, me and the wife spent a suspiciously long time standing on the wall of the fortress, pointing to our favourite exercising octogenarians. This picture here has long been a point of contention between me and the wife. If you look at the auld lad bending slightly, you will notice he seems to have some kind of animal head motif on the front of his speedos. The wife thinks it's an Arctic Fox or a frog... but I reckon it's Fingermouse aff Fingerbobs.

 

The lad on the right, who appeared to be Vogueing, we've agreed his motif is probably some kind of athlete... though she thought sprinter and I thought fitbaer.

 

Feel free to scrutinise their packages, and see what you reckon they have stenciled on their dicksacks.

 

[DandyDon KD]

Really good photos, pal.