Best Man Speech

[OddJob]

I'm the best man at my pals wedding on the 14th July, i'm absolutely sharting myself with regards to the speech. Any good tips you guys can share?

[King Street Loon]

I'm the best man at my pals wedding on the 14th July, i'm absolutely sharting myself with regards to the speech. Any good tips you guys can share?

I've the pleasure of doing this for my mates wedding in November.

 

I'm nae looking forward to the speech either.

 

I'll be stealing any tips that get posted on here.

[Tommy]

Trust me OJ, it'll be even scarier than you're thinking it will be.

I hope you don't let the fear that you will be suffering spoil your day.

[dervish]

Can't be too boring, can't be too risque for want of ruining two peoples special day. A tightrope, I don't envy you.

[zig-a-zig-ah]

Wow - must've been pretty desperate before asking you to be his best man!

[tutankamun]

Did it last year.

 

I used sample speeches off the Internet to form the structure of my speech but crucially I added some personal bits that were unique to the bride and groom ( especially the groom). The Internet was also useful for informing me who to thank and toast, I had no clue (if you are lucky and smart, this shit can form half your speech :0)).

 

I was extremely nervous on the day to the point of feeling sick. Our speeches were after the meal which I was happy about because it gave me an opportunity to get tanked up on booze - although I wouldn't advocate getting completely pissed, a little Dutch courage won't go amiss (I never ate any of the meal btw).

 

Try to ensure there will be a PA system in place, especially if it's a big wedding. It puts you in control and everyone is forced to listen. It made me feel more comfortable anyway. There was even a Master of Ceremonies at the wedding which was brilliant and relaxed everyone.

 

I was also fortunate in that, before my speech, I was asked to read out some cards from people who couldn't make it on the day. I wasn't expecting this but for me, it broke the ice big time (so try to ensure you can do this beforehand also).

 

Just remember everyone is on your side and will probably be so pissed they will laugh at anything, so corny jokes are fine. Take the piss out the groom as much as you want with maybe a playful jibe at the bride thrown in.

 

The feeling of relief I felt after giving it almost made it worthwhile...

[daytripping]

If I ever get married they'll be no speeches, it should be a fun day without anyone worrying, an outdated concept imo.

[tutankamun]

If I ever get married they'll be no speeches, it should be a fun day without anyone worrying, an outdated concept imo.

I agree Dayts. I did this at my wedding but the mad bastard that was my best man (the guy I was best man for) insisted on giving a speech so I didn't deny him.

 

No way I was ruining my day by worrying about giving a speech.

[OddJob]

Does the stagger involve starting on the dark bouncers outside Espo?

 

No

 

It was the Amicus Apple ones anyway remember

 

Wow - must've been pretty desperate before asking you to be his best man!

 

Thanks for that

 

Did it last year.

 

I used sample speeches off the Internet to form the structure of my speech but crucially I added some personal bits that were unique to the bride and groom ( especially the groom). The Internet was also useful for informing me who to thank and toast, I had no clue (if you are lucky and smart, this shit can form half your speech :0)).

 

I was extremely nervous on the day to the point of feeling sick. Our speeches were after the meal which I was happy about because it gave me an opportunity to get tanked up on booze - although I wouldn't advocate getting completely pissed, a little Dutch courage won't go amiss (I never ate any of the meal btw).

 

Try to ensure there will be a PA system in place, especially if it's a big wedding. It puts you in control and everyone is forced to listen. It made me feel more comfortable anyway. There was even a Master of Ceremonies at the wedding which was brilliant and relaxed everyone.

 

I was also fortunate in that, before my speech, I was asked to read out some cards from people who couldn't make it on the day. I wasn't expecting this but for me, it broke the ice big time (so try to ensure you can do this beforehand also).

 

Just remember everyone is on your side and will probably be so pissed they will laugh at anything, so corny jokes are fine. Take the piss out the groom as much as you want with maybe a playful jibe at the bride thrown in.

 

The feeling of relief I felt after giving it almost made it worthwhile...

 

Nice one Tut, cheers for info

[daytripping]

I agree Dayts. I did this at my wedding but the mad bastard that was my best man (the guy I was best man for) insisted on giving a speech so I didn't deny him.

 

No way I was ruining my day by worrying about giving a speech.

 

That's the way it should be, a drunk best man grabbing the mike and giving an off the cuff speech, means more. If it doesn't happen then who cares,

[zander]

Ericblack4boss will do a best man speach for a small fee.

[Sheep#1]

Done it twice, quite nerve wracking, but both seemed to go down well and it's a good feeling when folk are laughing at your jokes etc. Wouldn't bother with the speeches you'll find online, far too obvious. You must have at least a couple of embarrassing stories about things the groom has done (but nothing too riske obviously), just tell them, will go down way better than something you have quite obviously printed off the net.

[K-9]

Start off getting everyone up on their feet to toast the most important people in the room that the day just couldn't happen without - then toast the bar staff!!

[ChutneyLove]

^{Make up far fetched stories about things you and the groom have got up to. Watching him explain them later will make it all worthwhile. Thank everyone, read the cards, two minutes of anecdotes - wtf are you worried about?}

[gla5gowdon]

Don't alienate anyone.

 

Mind your language.

[Bluto10]

thats very sensible glasgowdon, some may even say boring.

[ChutneyLove]

Alienate someone - make them the butt of all jokes - the brides mother would be a good starting point.

 

Swear like fuck.

[gla5gowdon]

thats very sensible glasgowdon, some may even say boring.

 

You can be funny without doing any of the above.

 

I appreciate it might not be the teuchter yokel hoedown you're used to but give it a go.

 

[BrianFaePerth]

If I ever get married they'll be no speeches, it should be a fun day without anyone worrying, an outdated concept imo.

 

Do civil ceremonies have best man speeches? Wouldn't there be two?

[BrianFaePerth]

Canna understand the problem with standing up in front of a room and making a speech. Poofs.

[Henry]

Wow - must've been pretty desperate before asking you to be his best man!

 

 

and also the best man having to try and get me out of a hole I'd got myself in given I got pretty emotional.

 

[Bluto10]

jeez min, if you canan give a speech at your own wedding when can you.

 

its nae difficult.

[boboisared]

Trust me OJ, it'll be even scarier than you're thinking it will be.

I hope you don't let the fear that you will be suffering spoil your day.

 

 

Start by asking in a quiet-ish voice if they can hear you at the back, then produce a megaphone and ask the sane question again.

 

Classic.

 

 

Wow - must've been pretty desperate before asking you to be his best man!

 

OJ you'll be fine. Whether it's funny, good or shite you'll get sympathy applause/laughter.

[Bluto10]

youve gone down in my estimation berty.

always thought you were a mans man, nae a big girls blouse.

 

i bet you had your stagger 4 months in advance on a wednesday night in your local with your immediate family.

[ChutneyLove]

A couple of paragraphs plagiarised out of the letters section of "Ball Gags Monthly" and you'll be fine.

[Henry]

youve gone down in my estimation berty.

always thought you were a mans man, nae a big girls blouse.

 

i bet you had your stagger 4 months in advance on a wednesday night in your local with your immediate family.

 

He probably got emotional on the stag do too, hugging his best man/men etc.

[Henry]

Ooft, chill out min.

 

How many best men did you have? I'll guess 4 best men and 6 bridesmaids, as part of a not at all over-the-top ceremony.

[Dynamo]

Whatever you've got written make sure you read it well and don't stumble over words and go 'emmmm' loads of times. It's shit when folk do that.

[BrianFaePerth]

Keep it short and sweet. Most people want to continue with the eating and drinking and the speeches are just an unwelcome interruption.

[Bluto10]

1 best man (paid)

2 ushers (hired)

She had 2 bridesmaids.

 

jeez min, idve helped out min.

just needed to ask pal.