Another Deid Relly

[Ke1t]

Yet another death in the family this week, so having to spend a lot of time arranging things. That's two inside of 6 months alone... the family are dropping like fucking flies.

 

It's times like this that you briefly consider your own mortality, the meaning of life, the meaning of death, is there an afterlife, how many bottles of Jack Daniels would it take to kill me outright. These are the kinds of philosophical things I'm thinking about today.

 

This will be a Christian cremation/funeral though, though there might be a small Arab contingent there... last funeral was like the Siege of Acre in 1291... if you've never been to an Arab funeral then you should definitely try to wangle an invite. And bring your bird if you really want to piss her off.

 

Anyway, it's all very morbid around the Kelt household, though I'm unable to be anything but remorselessly cheerful. That's just how I am.

 

Hopefully, hopefully I can keep from greeting with laughter during the eulogies. The last one was just a fucking disaster... I was practically convulsing trying not to howl with laughter, while the wife shot me daggers and dug her nails into my hand. Wasnae my fault... if that lassie hadnae got up and started 'singing' for half an hour I'd have been content to sit through the whole thing stoney faced.

 

For my part, when I die, just throw some fucking turps on me and set me on fire. Then, in six months time when the flames have gone oot, just use the ashes to grit the drive next time it snaas.

 

To fuck with this morbid, over-elaborate, wailing and greeting and all the unnecessary pish. Take the cash you save in funeral expenses... and holy fuck, how can it cost this much to set fire to someone... take the money you saved and have a pish up with strippers and Foxy Boxing.

 

It's what I would have wanted, believe me.

 

 

 

 

 

[Bluto10]

Ill just head to one of my many locals and just never come back

 

That's the way I'm going out

[Bluto10]

It'll be a protracted affair probajw about 100+ hours solid power drinking;

 

If I'm going down I'm taking some beers with me

[boboisared]

Ill just head to one of my many locals and just never come back

 

That's the way I'm going out

 

 

It'll be a protracted affair probajw about 100+ hours solid power drinking;

 

If I'm going down I'm taking some beers with me

 

Top man Bloots.

[looksgoodinred]

Yet another death in the family this week, so having to spend a lot of time arranging things. That's two inside of 6 months alone... the family are dropping like fucking flies.

 

My condolences to you and your family, Kelt.

[Ke1t]

My condolences to you and your family, Kelt.

 

Well, I appreciate that. Not sure why your comment merited 2 votes down, though.

 

Anyway, 90+ years of age, good health (up until his death, obviously), still sharp as a tack, active and pretty well off financially. Died in his sleep. As far popping your clogs go he really won't have had any complaints. He had a bit of a bad knee that seemed to have been fixed with surgery.

 

Served in the Navy during WW2, and in his lifetime saw the Great Depression, the defeat of the NAZIs, the first atomic blasts, the first manmade object in space, the first man in space, the first Moonlandings, the fall of Communism and apartheid, the advent of Rock n Roll, the computer age, the decoding of the human genome, AIDS, ... pretty much anything that happened in the 20th century he was a witness to it.

 

I'd be happy to live as long as him and experience the kind of landmarks in human civilisation that he saw.

 

So far I've seen AIDS, Justin Beiber, and some planes crashing into the WTC. Shit better start picking up soon.

[madjockmcferson]

My wife discovered mortality this month when her dad had a stroke. All of a sudden, at the age of 31, she realizes that her parents are getting older.

[Dandyesque]

Well, I appreciate that. Not sure why your comment merited 2 votes down, though.

 

Anyway, 90+ years of age, good health (up until his death, obviously), still sharp as a tack, active and pretty well off financially. Died in his sleep. As far popping your clogs go he really won't have had any complaints. He had a bit of a bad knee that seemed to have been fixed with surgery.

 

Served in the Navy during WW2, and in his lifetime saw the Great Depression, the defeat of the NAZIs, the first atomic blasts, the first manmade object in space, the first man in space, the first Moonlandings, the fall of Communism and apartheid, the advent of Rock n Roll, the computer age, the decoding of the human genome, AIDS, ... pretty much anything that happened in the 20th century he was a witness to it.

 

I'd be happy to live as long as him and experience the kind of landmarks in human civilisation that he saw.

 

So far I've seen AIDS, Justin Beiber, and some planes crashing into the WTC. Shit better start picking up soon.

 

You forgot the Arab Spring.

 

And The X Factor

[ChutneyLove]

And Darren Mackie

[boboisared]

My wife discovered mortality this month when her dad had a stroke. All of a sudden, at the age of 31, she realizes that her parents are getting older.

How old is your wife like?!

[boboisared]

We burnt my children's grandfather earlier this month. It cost 5 grand. I was raging. Money up in smoke.

[diamondsr4ever]

wakes are ace