How Drunk Have You Been (That You Can Remember)?

[looksgoodinred]

So drunk you'd mistake a shipping container for your bed and breakfast?

 

http://www.mandatory.com/2013/08/14/drunk-chinese-man-passes-out-in-shipping-container-bound-for-ame?icid=pets%7Chat%7Cmenslink%7C2013-08-14-drunk-chinese-man-passes-out-in-shipping-container-b

 

You know you've had a few too many cocktails when you mistake a shipping container for the bed and breakfast you're staying in, then proceed to go inside said shipping container and pass out for the evening.

That's what happened to Jiang Wu, gentleman in Eastern China who sounds like he might be fun at parties.

Jiang woke up the next day and found himself locked inside the shipping container. After realizing he couldn't get out, he began frantically calling the police. The police showed up and had Jiang bang on the walls of his container so they could find him amongst the thousands of containers in the shipping yard.

After a short search they found him in a container stacked 60 feet in the air, inside a container that was less an hour away from being shipped to Los Angeles.

 

The stupidest drunk I’ve been and remember was on my 18^th birthday. Mixed all kinds of drinks and food that night, and then took on a Croatian friend (man) in a shot drinking contest, which I lost. I was drunk.

 

Driving home, I thought I was going to throw up, and knew my boyfriend would be pissed if it happened in his car. So I opened the door to get out. The car was still moving. At the instant my hand was on the door frame (since I was falling out more than getting out), he leaned over and pulled the door shut. I remember my hand hurting but not that badly to be fair. I did stay in the car for the rest of the drive.

 

Got to my apartment to find that I’d neglected to bring my handbag (and more importantly, my apartment keys) from the party we’d left. He parked me on the floor in the hallway (I think i just passed out to be fair) for the hour it took him to get there and back with them. And then he dumped me into my bed and left. I think I vomited on the floor of my room sometime after that.

 

I have never been that disgustingly drunk again. That I recall.

[minijc]

Worst I've been here was a boogie bus for heppys birthday

[zander]

Wakening up in hospital with a nasty cut to my knee after drinking a bottle of straight vodka when I was 17.

Thankfully never been nowhere near as drunk since.

[BrianFaePerth]

Worst was a works night out in London.

 

A 90 minute journey home, of which eh remember 3 or 4 seconds.

 

Things were going well until eh tubed it to Waterloo. Have a vague recollection of needing to barf desperately while in one of they tunnels between the tube and trains station. Dinna ken what happened...

 

Can remember sitting on the train and absolutely no one sitting near me in an otherwise busy train. That same need to barf feeling was present too. Canna think why....

 

Remember waking up one stop (ie. 3 minutes away) before mine and thinking "plenty time, go back to sleep".

 

Woke up the next morning in my own bed, and with the hangover from hell.

[a don in oz]

The worst drunk I can recall is probably the worst hangover I ever had and it has spells I don't remember.

 

Was drinking with mates in the Kilmarnock Arms in Cruden Bay. Uni had just lost my entire final year project (on their servers) and told me it was too bad... so I was going to fail my honours year. Pretty gutted. Not a good time to drink but Jesus Christ I did. The usual pint of cider and double vodka per round. Now a normal heavy session would be between 8 and say 12 rounds of that and I'd usually be fine, with no hangover at all the next day. Sure drunk but not black out drunk or even close to it.

 

That time though it went on a bit more and - this is a bit I don't remember - suddenly in the middle of speaking and ranting about something or other, I projectile vomited across the table and kept on speaking right through it with chunks or crisps and booze flying everywhere.

 

What I do remember is after it, my mates dragging me around outside, one on each arm and walking me back and forth down the harbour at Cruden Bay and me occasionally stopping to throw up a little more and telling them to stop fucking dragging me because it was making it worse and I just needed to be still for a little while, to get myself together.

 

After I stopped throwing up and about half an hour of walking me around they called my parents because we'd all had such a tankful (and originally I'd been planning on taking the last bus back to Peterhead) so they came through to pick me up.

 

I totally remember getting into the car, thinking "I'll fool them, they'll never know I've had a drink". Sitting in the back seat, putting the belt on all cool and stuff. Then sliding sideways down in the seat, giggling like an idiot, and then pushing myself up being all cool again. They'll never notice because I'm cool as a cucumber, I thought.

 

I managed to get out of the car myself and - i found this out many years later - my Dad played along with it by just walking behind me ready to catch me if I looked like I was going to fall and brain myself on the stone dykes around the backie of the house.

 

The hangover the next day was out of this world fierce. I didn't leave the bedroom of settee all day and think I still felt rough the day after that.

 

So... don't drink angry. Or have 40 or however many it was measures of booze because it fucks you up.

[Mouse]

Two occasions I ended up in my house, once asleep on the kitchen floor, once asleep halfway up the stairs.

 

Another time was being blootered on wine when I was 19, last time I've drank that pish. Ended up chatting up a girl I knew from school right next to her boyfriend, great idea. Ended up outside Private Eyes spewing my guts out whilst my mates were getting a dance for a friends birthday. I ended up calling my mum at 1am to pick me up and take me back to Newtonhill. Walked to the Trinity centre and spoke shite to a bum for about 20 minutes!

[ericblack4boss]

worst I can recall was after a works do, was being driven back home by my sister who warned me nae to spew in her motor, but I knew it was in the post well anyway the moment arrived when it was looking for out. so I told her to staop which was right underneat Inveramsay bridge. anyway after spewing I made it home an the next recollection I have is of being woken by my dog licking me it was 3 am and I was on my bathroom floor absoulutely freezing my teeth were chattering and when I turned lights on I could see my lips were blue, and to this day I swear if my dog hadn't wakened me I would have frozen to death.

[caledonia]

woke up for my work at 8 and halfway down the town heard music from the legion (it was 8pm and i thought it was 8 am)

[Huntlysheep]

Was at a hoose party once in Woodend mine getting woken up in the gerden the day efter by a concerned neighbour fa thought I was deed I was just cal, weet & hungower, had a good sleep though.

[Huntlysheep]

Also mine at college we went to Dornach at a caravan site me & 2 mates got so pissed we fell asleep in some al cunts caravan looked like oor een, looked a the same, woke up the next the day & shat myself fan I seen al Bob & Mary staring back at me.

[Sheep#1]

Everytime I go on a piss up. Same level of smashed, nae point doing things by half measures. Opportunities diminish as you get older, so have to make the most!

[muttonhumper]

Fuck sake.

Is this a serious question?

 

How the fuck am I supposed to ken that?

Shit min.

[Pash]

Raith Rovers away.

[Robbie Winters]

Think I have told this one before on here but was in Italy as a youngster and was out the back of bar spewing and a lizard nipped into the bile for a snack but me been so drunk thought I had spewed it up

[Maniac Cop]

Remember going on a night out with folk from my college class about 12 years ago, started off drinking 'brain hemorrhages' at Soda Fountain and ended up bouncing about the dancefloor at Zuu Club convinced Aberdeen had won the league despite it being December and telling anyone that came within earshot about it.

Ended up in someones flat where after being threatened by her brother who thought I'd broken in, I spewed all over the living room floor which thankfully for me, their dog ate, saving me the clean up.

[Peterheid Dave]

Ending up at the nightclub I usually bounced at, wearing a mini skirt, thong and a boob tube, as it seemed like a good idea to swap clothes with one of the lassies that I was friendly with at the time.

 

Ending up starkers at a bar in Tenerife during a Scotland V England contest. The round was dirty dancing, a round which we won as the English contestants failed to go that extra mile. Plus point I pulled the Dundee quine that I was dancing with.

 

Chasing a scurry down the street as I was that drunk I thought it was looking at me funny and wanted a square go.

[kingofearth81]

tried to climb out my bedroom window after being barred going out again - fell out and knocked myself unconcious- taken to hospital - when i came round sneaked out the ward whilst still in my hospital issue pj's and walked all the way to ferryhill - getting some strange looks from folk as walked down road in hospital fatigues with blood all over them.class. didnt matter at the time was protected by my blanket of alcoholism.

[bonzodaddy73]

Was fishing with my mates at Portmahomack for a few days and we got a bit sick of the carryout round the fire.

So we decided to head to the nearest boozer which was about a mile away. I got on fairly well with the barman so ended up fairly hammered while my mates headed back to the tent.

 

So stagger out of the bar into complete darkness with no idea which way we came. Wandered aimlessly for god knows how long completely lost and thought fuck it this strangely flat smooth grass is where I'll crash out until sun comes up and I get my bearings.

 

My next recollection is being prodded with a putter by an extremely irate golfer who threatened to smash my brains in if I didn't get to fuck of the 6th green.

 

To say I sobered up instantly is an understatement.

[Ke1t]

The worst I've been was after a night of boozing and candy-flipping weed and ectos at a party at a mate's hoose.

 

Didn't realise how fucked up I was until I was 'walking' home. I say 'walking', but I was using cars, walls, fences and lamp posts as objectives, bouncing off them and heading to my next target.

 

Walking past an open piece of ground I stopped to get my bearings, and that's when I observed the two giant brown paper bag people dancing around. They were kind of waltzing in slow motion, and as I watched them I realised that if they saw me they were going to kill me. So I took off along the road, freaking out, got into my flat, locked the door, got a big fuck off knife out of the kitchen, ran into my bedroom, stacked my dressing table and various other bits of furniture against the door, and sat against the wall facing the door, terrified that the Big Brown Paper Bag People were going to come and kill me.

 

I think I probably passed out about 30 seconds into my intended all-night vigil, but I think that's the most scared and fucked up I've ever been after a sesh. I was practically pissing myself with fear.

 

Literally practically.

[LeDandy]

Woke up alone one saturday morning just before christmas , i was about 20 years old , " thats funny , where's the blon ?" i thought to myself , mate phoned shortly aifter i woke to laugh like fuck at me and say i better buy some flowers . , apparently i had got so shit faced on a pre xmas night oot in oor local that i spent the last hour and a half at the bar with an ex , after that in the car park as my girlfriend , mate and his bird were waiting to gie us a run hame , i did a bit of necking with the ex , in full glare of the headlights , passing it off as " ach its just a xmas kiss guys fits the problem ?" . never did shit like that before and was a bit surprised at myself

 

she did forgive me though

[granite sheep]

Bus ride down to Liverpool v Wolves two seasons ago, massive piss up on the bus, loads vodka an jager; passed out at the start of the second half, rudely woken by me Auld man about quarter an hour later as folk in our section were complaining about my snoring.

[dervish]

Madrid with the Dons was one(1). Bottom floor of the hostel best mates with my bro. Lift ride later, toy scrap, escalated... full on scrap shouting at 5am-ish. He went off, I went to sleep he couldn't get in room. (2)

 

Between (1) and (2) I didn't and don't remember. Apparently getting told this after you've had to sleep on the floor of the hostel all night is pretty galling.

[jassb]

I got drunk and had a kebab. Never again.

 

Woke up once in my mates kitchen covered in cheesecake. No idea how that happened. But I have my suspicions.

 

This would be better if it was the drunkest you've been that you cant remember.

 

In my late teens or early 20's when I went on holiday with mates. It was a caravan park in Wales and one of my first holidays without my family. Tom O'Conner was the comedian in the social club one night when we were there. Can't remember a thing about the night. Woke up about 5pm the next day. Apparently I had to be carried home. Then I started repeating all the jokes Tom O'Conner had said the night before. Then I went out to get over my hangover, walking along the beach listening to Billy Idol on my Walkman. Even after everyone telling me about it, I still dont remember a thing. Great night.

[jassb]

Or was it jimmy Tarbuck? I really have no idea. Sure it was a scouser anyway. Might have been Cilla. or Jimmy Corkhill. Not sure I was even there.

[Gover]

Last night, kings of leon, bellahouston park. Fucking magic i think....

[daytripping]

Just too many to pick one specific day, Krakow at a stag doo I ended up on my tod in some dodgy strip joint, was front row watching the girls while some bird went to get me a beer, next I remember was being in some street in the middle of nowhere a hundred quid lighter with no idea where my hotel was, 4 hours of my life lost with no idea what happened.

 

My 18'th party I woke up in a bed in some strange house surrounded by my own sick, I was so fucked I went back to sleep.

 

A hundred other fucked up nights and days where I've woke up thinking WTF.

[granite sheep]

Was 18- Passed out at a party and had totally convinced everyone else that I'd died....right up until I woke up projectile vomiting everywhere. Had the nickname Volcano Man for a wee while after that

...

[Ke1t]

Currently sitting in the airport bar trying to get good and drunk before I have to get on this fucking plane.

 

I hate flying.

[RUL]

Last night, blootered. Told the missus I was away for a pish and went to bed. Night of double jack Daniels floored me and she was driving which made me feel even more drunk.

 

Everything's a bit blurry after Partick-hearts game.

[urbanprotection]

At The Open last month enjoying corporate hospitality at Archerfield. I stay in Edinburgh and was getting a coach back at 8pm with some people I had met who were staying at Gleneagles. Traffic was slow and the carry out on the bus was big. Remember stopping at a pub on the way then the next thing I know I woke up in an unidentified bed. Roll out of bed to find bog, only to be confronted by Gleneagles slippers. Aw fuck, I think, looking at myself in the mirror wearing the same gear I'd had on for 24 hours. Downstairs they seem to know me as concierge welcome me like an old friend and give me my missing phone back that they had been charging. Quick breakfast and panicked call to office to say I would be late before asking concierge to get me a taxi and charge it to my room. BMW 7 series turns up and I'm asked if £300 was OK. Too scared to check out so hopped in car and returned home for shower.

 

My credit card has still not been charged so have no idea who is picking up the tab.