Collections For People Leaving Work

[terenceandphilip]

unless your fond of them, is there any real reason to part with your hard earned?

 

 

Bollocks to it I say.,

[spamspamspam]

fucking hate these things

 

a fiver because someone has found a better paying job elsewhere, usually someone you cant wait to see the back of as well.

 

I give fuck all these days.

[chaos_defrost]

Hate this shit. Folk as well collecting for new borns or charities as well. Should leave a jar somewhere and tell folk if they want to donate they can pop something in the jar rather than pestering folk and trying to guilt trip them into parting with their money when they really think said person leaving is a cunt. It's usually an older woman that does these collections, I'd be hauling them into the office and giving them a disciplinary for dossing about during working hours.

[zander]

My old work used to give everybody who left a collection, used to throw a fiver or tenner every time. Then got nothing when I left either I was unpopular or they were bitter.

[tup]

I'd imagine it was the former.

[terenceandphilip]

if i was to give money to everyone who asked (beggars, leaving collections/wedding/baby etc @ work, children's cancer wifie in Union Square (talk about preying on your heartstrings) big issue, grab a grand etc etc I actually wouldn't have any money.

[dervish]

If I ken them I do. Thing is they never ken who the fuck put in what. Hate the cunt who sits next to me. Never puts anything in but signs the fucking card! Mink.

 

Last place I left got a hip flask, two bottles of vodka and a nice mug... which said hair of the dog on it. Apparently they basically thought I was an alky.

[tutankamun]

I work with a lot of females and they love this shit. They have cards and collections for when people are leaving even when they are not actually leaving, merely changing department.

 

In fact we have had a few nights out for folk that have just been changing department, although I won't complain too much about those since the company picks up the bill.

 

They also do cards and collections for everyone's birthday within our department and some other randoms that aren't. Same for when they drop a sprog.

 

The icing on the cake was when we had a card and collection for when someone moved house. WTF!

[Redstar]

I bet they bake an extra big cake when you leave

[jassb]

Only do it for folk in my department or folk that I like and have been there for a really long time. In our place it's the presentations that I hate. When I leave, I'll be phoning in sick on my last day to avoid that shit. As for leaving dos, can't be arsed with them.

[Ke1t]

Never bothered me.

 

If I like whoever's leaving, having a bairn, getting married etc. then I would have no problem chipping in.

 

If I didn't like them then I'd just say I'm not contributing.

 

That kind of shite doesn't interest me personally, though... I'd never want people buying cards or cakes for me.

 

Sheer nonsense.

[Clydeside_Sheep]

No fucking chance.

 

Usually it's fat birds who organise such shite, the same ones who bring in cakes "for everyone" yet the majority go down their fat disgusting throat.

 

 

Where I work, in addition to the gift giving, the leaver is obliged to bring in cakes / sweets or whatever.

 

Recently a conspicuously heavy girl was moving to a different office (so not even 'leaving') and brought in a lot of cakes.

 

She sent out one of those "to everyone" work emails - to hundreds of people - wishing them well, saying it was her last day and informing us of the cakes she had provided for us.

 

A short time later, a guy with learning difficulties who also works there (stocks up the photocopiers, that kind of thing) sent a "reply to all" email - to the same 100s of people - saying (and all in capitals):

 

"QUICK! HURRY BEFORE XXXX EATS THEM ALL HERSELF"

 

It was hilarious but I felt bad for the girl.

 

In the room I sit in, all the guys exclaimed "OOOOH! FUCK!" at the same time and then burst out laughing.

[fine-n-dandy]

If someone's leaving then they should just get a blackening & be grateful

 

I usually throw hard boiled eggs or shite in a paper poke

[Sheep#1]

No fucking chance.Usually it's fat birds who organise such shite, the same ones who bring in cakes "for everyone" yet the majority go down their fat disgusting throat.Same for "birthday clubs", what sort of wanker actually wants their desk to be covered in balloons and glitter like something out of a fucking hen night?Work involves going in, doing your job then going home, all this extra shite is just fucking nonsense.

I'm gonna send Suzie big jugs an fb message insisting you will be so hurt if you don't get all this jazz on your impending last day

[Ohjimmyjimmy]

I usually put in a tenner and pull a twenty out the envelope.

[beef_sister]

This filipino guy that worked on my boats mums house burnt down and we were expected to chip in for a collection so he could send it home.

For the record i ignored all attempts to get me to part with my cash on the basis that i dont know his mum and the boy was abit of a tosser in all honesty. Would i have got a collection if my folks pad was destroyed by fire.... i think not.

[tup]

 

Where I work, in addition to the gift giving, the leaver is obliged to bring in cakes / sweets or whatever.

 

Recently a conspicuously heavy girl was moving to a different office (so not even 'leaving') and brought in a lot of cakes.

 

She sent out one of those "to everyone" work emails - to hundreds of people - wishing them well, saying it was her last day and informing us of the cakes she had provided for us.

 

A short time later, a guy with learning difficulties who also works there (stocks up the photocopiers, that kind of thing) sent a "reply to all" email - to the same 100s of people - saying (and all in capitals):

 

"QUICK! HURRY BEFORE XXXX EATS THEM ALL HERSELF"

 

It was hilarious but I felt bad for the girl.

 

In the room I sit in, all the guys exclaimed "OOOOH! FUCK!" at the same time and then burst out laughing.

Bluto?

[Chappit Neeps]

Load of bollocks. Get in, get done, get oot.

 

Goes back to the old work collegues vs work mates scenario. I dinna work with any of my mates ergo, nio thanks!

[fine-n-dandy]

This filipino guy that worked on my boats mums house burnt down and we were expected to chip in for a collection so he could send it home.

 

For the record i ignored all attempts to get me to part with my cash on the basis that i dont know his mum and the boy was abit of a tosser in all honesty. Would i have got a collection if my folks pad was destroyed by fire.... i think not.

 

 

To be fair, I don't think it would take that much money to send a pile of ashes to the Philippines.

[beef_sister]

[Poodler]

 

Where I work, in addition to the gift giving, the leaver is obliged to bring in cakes / sweets or whatever.

 

Recently a conspicuously heavy girl was moving to a different office (so not even 'leaving') and brought in a lot of cakes.

 

She sent out one of those "to everyone" work emails - to hundreds of people - wishing them well, saying it was her last day and informing us of the cakes she had provided for us.

 

A short time later, a guy with learning difficulties who also works there (stocks up the photocopiers, that kind of thing) sent a "reply to all" email - to the same 100s of people - saying (and all in capitals):

 

"QUICK! HURRY BEFORE XXXX EATS THEM ALL HERSELF"

 

It was hilarious but I felt bad for the girl.

 

In the room I sit in, all the guys exclaimed "OOOOH! FUCK!" at the same time and then burst out laughing.

I would have given him the £10 for saying what everyone is thinking.

[Sheep#1]

Think she left ages ago mate, probably off to work somewhere where she can claim thousands of pounds after an unfortunate work place injury

Didn't know she had buggered off elsewhere, hun cunt that is

[tommo1903]

I work with a lot of females and they love this shit. They have cards and collections for when people are leaving even when they are not actually leaving, merely changing department.

 

In fact we have had a few nights out for folk that have just been changing department, although I won't complain too much about those since the company picks up the bill.

 

They also do cards and collections for everyone's birthday within our department and some other randoms that aren't. Same for when they drop a sprog.

 

The icing on the cake was when we had a card and collection for when someone moved house. WTF!

 

My deapartment has about 30 lassies and 6 blokes, so I have the exact same problems. That last one happened yesterday.

 

 

Where I work, in addition to the gift giving, the leaver is obliged to bring in cakes / sweets or whatever.

 

Recently a conspicuously heavy girl was moving to a different office (so not even 'leaving') and brought in a lot of cakes.

 

She sent out one of those "to everyone" work emails - to hundreds of people - wishing them well, saying it was her last day and informing us of the cakes she had provided for us.

 

A short time later, a guy with learning difficulties who also works there (stocks up the photocopiers, that kind of thing) sent a "reply to all" email - to the same 100s of people - saying (and all in capitals):

 

"QUICK! HURRY BEFORE XXXX EATS THEM ALL HERSELF"

 

It was hilarious but I felt bad for the girl.

 

In the room I sit in, all the guys exclaimed "OOOOH! FUCK!" at the same time and then burst out laughing.

 

[BrianFaePerth]

A very British thing thankfully.

 

When one of my colleagues left a few weeks back, he got the standard "all the best" and out the door he went. No collections, no speeches, just a fuck off from all of us who would have to take over his workload

[starryfish]

Here's one. Years ago a woman that works in my office had her house damaged by flooding, lost pretty much all her belongings I think. It was just before Christmas so admittedly not the best time for it to happen. Anyway, my particular department, mostly female, thought it would be a great idea if we gave her the money that we'd saved up through the year for our work Christmas lunch while we ourselves would buy party food, sausage rolls etc and have it in the office. Now the 7 of us had each set aside £25 so it wasn't an inconsiderable sum. Straight out I told her bollocks to that, charity starts at home and I've never joined them for a Christmas meal since.

[ChutneyLove]

Ignored a few at my work recently.

 

Some part-time weekend bird was 23 and they were having a bloody collection? If I am donating to that I'm looking for a swatch at her tits in return.

 

Some bloke was turning 56 and folk thought it merited a card. He got a signature fae me saying "Happy 60th" and nothing went in the envelope.

 

It's lassies that start this shit, and it shouldn't happen. If I ever get presented with anything from work, unless it is in recognition of my sterling work, they'll get told "no, thanks."

[Geoff_Tipps]

I couldn't care less about it, if I like them then I will happily chuck some money in. If I dont I decline. Simples, certainly no point worrying about it or getting worked up by it.

[Dandyesque]

I couldn't care less about it, if I like them then I will happily chuck some money in. If I dont I decline. Simples, certainly no point worrying about it or getting worked up by it.

 

Pretty much this.

 

We're expected to bring in some cakes on our own birthdays and leave them out for everyone, rather than have everyone chip in for someones' birthday every week or whatever which I have no particular problem with and some flowers for the wife and enough John Lewis vouchers to get me a new DAB was pretty tidy when our baby was born

 

Downside is for the leaving ones - I have generally never had to work my notice and gone on immediate garden leave instead - which is obviously a better deal than a leaving present but means I don't see any return.

[forbesz1903]

this goes on in my office, I usually sign the card and would chuck in to a collection if I like the person.

 

In return when I've been off work I've gotten Itunes vouchers and cards, and last year for my 21st I got presents galore, and taken out for my supper.

 

Speculate to accumulate

[daytripping]

We should maybe think of doing this when someone leaves the hat, it is nice to be nice.