This Evening, I Fell Through The Ceiling

[Clydeside_Sheep]

Ye Gods.

I was up in the loft getting the christmas tree on the orders of her indoors.

(I am a veteren of many loft excursions, all without incident. Ive even installed lights up there without mishap.)

I couldnt see what I was doing because the box is so big and it clipped one of the vertical A-frames and pushed me about 1/2 inch to the right.

That was the killer half inch though, as my foot went off the rafter and right through the bloody ceiling, quickly followed by most of the rest of me.

Fortunately, the rafters broke my fall by smashing me right across my exposed ribs (the really vulnerable bit which always finishes boxers if they are hit there).

I ended up with one leg and my arse hanging right through the ceiling, with the other leg and my torso still in the loft. All of my weight was on my ribs, caught on a rafter, and I was tangled up in electrical wires (recessed spotlights).

I was shiting myself I would be electocuted at any moment. I was also shitting my self I would fall through and land on my head, due to one leg still being stuck in the loft.

"Get the steps! Get the steps!" I was shrieking wildly, whilst hanging there like an obsese bat.

The wife came to my rescue with the step ladders and I managed to get down ok.

She was right under me when I came through - it was lucky my leading leg didnt hit her, or it would have drilled her right through the floor

She is still trying to get the last of the insulation and plasterboard out of her hair

You should see the state of my back and side, it looks like someone has kicked the sh*t out of me

Its going to hurt like f*ck in the morning And there will be a ceiling repair bill

Merry f*cking Christmas.

[The Oxford Don]

I was expecting a link to Radiohead's Fake Plastic Trees.

 

Disappointed.

[Pudgie]

Oh, what a feeling!

[Clydeside_Sheep]

I expected an ourpouring of sympathy, I am wounded! (emotionally and physically).

 

I have a pic of my handywork but for some reason it wont accept the image extension ?!?

[Tommy]

I expected an ourpouring of sympathy, I am wounded! (emotionally and physically).

 

 

Sympathy?

 

Fuck all here.

MTFU, the Christmas tree duties are your wife's.

[Henry]

Clearly God sent this incident to test your faith.

[Robbie Winters]

Was that not how Johnny Doyle came to an end ?

[Bluto10]

that'll learn you for havin a cheap and nasty plastic christmas tree.

scrooge.

[tommo1903]

I fell in between the train and a platform once.

Ended up with a hole in my leg and 3 days in hospital as a result of the infection.

Was funny as fuck though.

[Bluto10]

i fell down some stairs at a student union once (apparently)

dont remember.

 

but i did wake up with a one inch scar on my jawline the following day.

still got it; looks ace.

[Clydeside_Sheep]

Gutted your hands aren't broken.

 

They are.

 

I am typing using a plastic rod attached to a head-band, like a poor mans Stephen Hawking.

[Clydeside_Sheep]

that'll learn you for havin a cheap and nasty plastic christmas tree.

scrooge.

 

Well f*ck me, you try to help the environment and this is the thanks you get.

 

Still I am pleased to report I am in much less pain this morning than I feared I might be.

 

Also, many thanks to my lovely wife who managed not to "go mental" at me over this and even appeared somewhat sympathetic.

[Clydeside_Sheep]

i fell down some stairs at a student union once (apparently)

dont remember.

 

but i did wake up with a one inch scar on my jawline the following day.

still got it; looks ace.

 

One inch huh?

 

Sounds like a girls scar to me

[Clydeside_Sheep]

Clearly God sent this incident to test your faith.

 

I certainly mentioned Him once or twice during the high excitement of this event.

[styrofoamplates]

I hope you didn't take his name in vain?

[tainboy]

Plastic trees aren't helping the environment. Quite the contrary in fact.

[BrianFaePerth]

 

Also, many thanks to my lovely wife who managed not to "go mental" at me over this and even appeared somewhat sympathetic.

 

She will do if she reads that patronising statement.

[Dom Sullivan]

I thought this was reminiscent of a Millertime post but if it had been, he had been typing it on his IPhone or equivalent BT contraption while hanging from the ceiling asking for advice on how to Ames tape the ceiling back together.

 

Nae luck though.

 

Aye the joys of Christmas.

 

Ho fucking Ho

[The Boofon]

Nae luck CS.

 

Pity it wasn't Halloween. You'd have made a great fancy dress helicopter.

 

Is it too soon?

[Clydeside_Sheep]

Nae luck CS.

 

Pity it wasn't Halloween. You'd have made a great fancy dress helicopter.

 

Is it too soon?

 

 

Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh!

 

[ollie1903]

Nae luck CS.

 

Pity it wasn't Halloween. You'd have made a great fancy dress helicopter.

 

Is it too soon?

Must not laugh...must not laugh

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[The Boofon]

Must not laugh...must not laugh

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Go on.

 

It's the fact that this thread title is followed by "in the pub" on the new content tab that I find amusing.

[caledonia]

Was that not how Johnny Doyle came to an end ?

 

Dons fans used to sing a song about that started something like

 

Johnny Doyle he was a sparkie

touched the wrong wire and now he is a d*****

[Ke1t]

When Clydsdale got stuck in the ceiling he began to shout

You heretics are monkeys and dicks, but God will get me out

He's out of luck, his dogma is fucked

There's no such thing as a god

When Clydesdale got stuck in the ceiling

He was on his tod.

 

 

[Robbie Winters]

When Clydsdale got stuck in the ceiling he began to shout

You heretics are monkeys and dicks, but God will get me out

He's out of luck, his dogma is fucked

There's no such thing as a god

When Clydesdale got stuck in the ceiling

He was on his tod.

 

 

[Clydeside_Sheep]

When Clydsdale got stuck in the ceiling he began to shout

You heretics are monkeys and dicks, but God will get me out

He's out of luck, his dogma is fucked

There's no such thing as a god

When Clydesdale got stuck in the ceiling

He was on his tod.

 

 

 

Yer affront to poetry is sh*t, but the photo is surprisingly accurate.

 

Its only missing the large cloud of dust / smashed plasterboard & insulation I caused

 

Im still black and blue just now - I don't think I realised how lucky I was to avoid serious injury, at the time.