India

[beef_sister]

Any of you chaps been down that neck of the woods before?

Looks like im heading down to Mumbai and joining an Indian barge for a 6 weeker, maybe a week mobilising so will have time to get out and about to see the local wildlife. Looking forward to currys 3 times a day..... Good chance my arsehole is going to be destroyed (not by one of the natives before any of you cunts get the out)

Any info on this shithole would be greatly appreciated

Beefy

[Clydeside_Sheep]

Take immodium with you.

 

Lots of immodium.

[Ke1t]

Any of you chaps been down that neck of the woods before?

 

Looks like im heading down to Mumbai and joining an Indian barge for a 6 weeker, maybe a week mobilising so will have time to get out and about to see the local wildlife. Looking forward to currys 3 times a day..... Good chance my arsehole is going to be destroyed (not by one of the natives before any of you cunts get the out)

 

Any info on this shithole would be greatly appreciated

 

Beefy

 

 

Best of luck with all that.

 

I went down a path where I was interested in working and travelling there for a year or so, but the more I learned about the place the more a little voice said, "Aye, fuck that."

 

They still have The Plague in India... like we used to have in Medieval Times.

 

Interesting fact to keep in mind while you're interacting with people or eating the food and drinking the.. I was going to say water but it's more a sort of bacterial soup.

 

What else... oh aye, don't miss out ANY of your shots.

 

Enjoy.

[beef_sister]

I'll survive a few weeks even if it is a total shithole im away to work on. All jabbed up aswel so taking no chances with that. All will be revealed next week i suppose.....

[Ke1t]

I'll survive a few weeks even if it is a total shithole im away to work on. All jabbed up aswel so taking no chances with that. All will be revealed next week i suppose.....

 

Did you have to interview to work there, or is it via a parent company?

 

They wanted me to fly to London for an interview at the embassy, presumably to see if I was 'India Material'.

 

From what I'd seen of Indians it mainly comprised wearing your pyjammies all day, shitting on the street, having glaucoma/leprosy/Hep E/Schistosoma/Plague, and dumping corpses in a handy river where people get their drinking water.

 

I did have visions of a successful interview consisting of me turning up in their embassy in my Iron Man Jamjams, shitting on the doorstep, and calling for a doctor as I pissed parasites out of my pizza-lookalike cock.

 

I refuse to work anywhere but an Industrialised nation these days, though I do still fancy Australia.

[beef_sister]

 

Did you have to interview to work there, or is it via a parent company?

 

They wanted me to fly to London for an interview at the embassy, presumably to see if I was 'India Material'.

 

From what I'd seen of Indians it mainly comprised wearing your pyjammies all day, shitting on the street, having glaucoma/leprosy/Hep E/Schistosoma/Plague, and dumping corpses in a handy river where people get their drinking water.

 

I did have visions of a successful interview consisting of me turning up in their embassy in my Iron Man Jamjams, shitting on the doorstep, and calling for a doctor as I pissed parasites out of my pizza-lookalike cock.

 

I refuse to work anywhere but an Industrialised nation these days, though I do still fancy Australia.

Nah i've just had to apply for a business visa and then thats it pretty much. Should recieve it on Monday or Tuesday and fly out Wed. Im going to have minimal time in Mumbai itself as we'llk be mobilising on the barge but i'll try and get out and about for a nosey. Same when finished including the demob, Then there flying me out to Thailand instead of Aberdeen. I'll need a holiday after 6-8 weeks in the company of that stinky cunts!

[Bluto10]

India is ace beefy; fuckin ace.

Make sure you do it well though

[davieb]

 

Did you have to interview to work there, or is it via a parent company?

 

They wanted me to fly to London for an interview at the embassy, presumably to see if I was 'India Material'.

 

From what I'd seen of Indians it mainly comprised wearing your pyjammies all day, shitting on the street, having glaucoma/leprosy/Hep E/Schistosoma/Plague, and dumping corpses in a handy river where people get their drinking water.

 

I did have visions of a successful interview consisting of me turning up in their embassy in my Iron Man Jamjams, shitting on the doorstep, and calling for a doctor as I pissed parasites out of my pizza-lookalike cock.

 

I refuse to work anywhere but an Industrialised nation these days, though I do still fancy Australia.

 

All that plus nuclear weapons and a space programme

[Bluto10]

 

All that plus nuclear weapons and a space programme

Aye but the table service there is world class

[Henry]

Rumpus is your man for India information.

 

If you're looking for information on the taste of spunk that is.

[a don in oz]

I work and have worked with many Indians over the years, in particular in my time in Oz and interestingly, to a man and woman, they all couldn't wait to get away from it and had no intentions of going back except to visit family.

 

The quality of life if you have money is very plush western but you have to steer through a lot of shit to find it to paraphrase the common comments.

[CrazyBullSheep]

Everyone a businessman even road sweepers wear a shirt and tie,never worked there, but worked with the people, all lovely as fuck, and have a slight wobble in the head when they speak to you.

 

Cheesey pipes has worked there but dont ask him for info unless you want jail reviews and tales about streaking.

[SkovdahlsLovechild]

Worked a month up in a site in Rajasthan. Every guy had the shits for an entire month (more than a few shit themselves), if you can adjust to that quickly you'll be alright. Mumbai is insane, be prepared for a wall of noise as soon as you get out the airport. Aside from that it's well worth a visit, just to say you've been. Pack toilet roll because they use hoses in all the toilets and I'm not spraying water up my arse after spraying it out of it.

 

Can't speak for the barges but heard they're awful so enjoy that!

 

Sent from my HTC One using Tapatalk

[BrianFaePerth]

My brother-in-law visits Pakistan regularly "on business". Is that close enough?

[beef_sister]

Trip down to Edinburgh first thing tomorrow morning to apply for a fast track visa because it seems im working for fucking morons, A simple process made difficult by fucking idiots.

[Bluto10]

You'll fit in then beefoid.

 

Same to with the uncultured eat on the floor type sub continentals.

[Bluto10]

Fishermen take dumps on beaches and don't bury it; aye all of them.

 

That's an Indian fact for you

[beef_sister]

I was watching a programme about all the bodies that just float about in the Ganges because of some ritual that they fire them into it once they croak it. The minging cunts all wash in that river aswell. Weirdos

[Bluto10]

The Darjeeling toy train is pretty cool.

 

Indian fact #2

[beef_sister]

Thats Indian fact #3 you stupid cunt. I just gave you #2

[Bluto10]

The worlds largest private collection of piranhas, sharks and crocs is in lake udaipur.

 

Indian fact

[Bluto10]

The 1914 boozer in the imperial, Delhi is o e of the worlds most civilised watering holes

 

Indian fact

[Guest]

I am unable to offer any morsels of India, having never been there. Ask me in 10 years and I would still be unable.

 

It's not that the sense of adventurism evaporates in later life.

 

I just don't dig on shit on the streets and in the rivers and the sense of hopelessness you feel in the face of gross impoverishment.

[Localfitbafan]

Take a pack of baby wipes nd keep them in the fridge. When your ring is on fire they will help to cool it down

[King Street Loon]

My Auntie and Uncle regularly go to India. They have a flat there.

 

They're a pair of bams, well her more so than him.

[ChutneyLove]

My Granda spent much of his national service in India. Any time Indian people, their food, any of their traditions or the country itself was mentioned he'd say:

"Dirty buggers, they shit in the street."

 

That's what he'd taken away from almost a couple of years there.

 

I've also worked with many of them over the years. I have no inkling to go anywhere near the place. In fact, when I'm on a plane flying over it I pray we don't have to make an emergency landing there, I think I'd rather smash into the side of a Himalaya.

[Bluto10]

There are more tigers in india than people

 

 

Indian fact

[tup]

It sounds like a hellish prospect to work there.

[Bluto10]

Aye getting a word in edgeways is the hardest thing in the indian workplace.

[Scrumpy]

Went there for a relaxing break, first day there got stabbed in the chest by the horn of a 'Sacred Cow'. Bleedin things swaggerin aboot like Erchie and no one can move them on cos their sacred. After a week in hospital, got fuckin food poisoning and spent the rest of the 'relaxing break' vomitting or on the shitter.