Revenge?

[Tyrant]

So I leave work yesterday and some cunt has parked so close to me that even the tiniest person couldn't open my door and get in my car. Barely enough room to open the door even a tiny bit. I noticed this at lunch time initially but I thought that perhaps he was just nipping somewhere quickly and would be gone before too long. But no. At the end of my working day the cunt's still there. I was lucky on 3 parts though. Firstly there was enough room on the otherside to open the passenger door. Secondly I am able bodied enough to climb in via the passenger door. And thirdly the silly prick left his mail on view and after a 5 minute Google I pretty much know his life story. Where he works, lives, his name, his secondary business on the side, his job title, how many motorcycles he's got etc etc.

 

The question is how do I exact my revenge? Or do I not bother? This sort of thing boils my piss and although I left him a note explaining that he was a prick I don't feel that this has gone far enough. Picture below shows you that there's less than 30 cms. Ridiculously selfish.

 

[ChutneyLove]

Rohypnol.

 

Get him in the boot of your car. Tie him up down in a dungeon. Cut his eyelids off. Not sure after that - ask adio - he'll know some belter torture moves.

[granite sheep]

Just lay a shite on his bonnet. Any old lump of dog mess will do, but to drive the point home, use yer ain.

[ChutneyLove]

Modern technology opens up lots of torture avenues.

 

Kidnap his wife - use the Rohypnol you were going to use for him in my first post on the subject.

 

Send him the link to a SnapChat account, then flash up photos of a masked you giving her vagina a workout with objects of ever increasing girth.

[woohoo]

woohoo says Roid Club for you Tyrant boy.

 

Let bygones be bygones

[Dynamo]

Just dent his car it looks more valuable than yours anyway.

 

Or you could let it go, worse things will happen in the world today.

 

Your choice.

[ChutneyLove]

Eye drops in his tea.

What does that do?

[ChutneyLove]

Eye drops in his tea.

 

Pile cream in his socks.

 

That'll learn him.

[Bluto10]

Tyrant min. You need help.

[ollie1903]

Kick his fucking face in

[chief_wiggum]

Put a kettle in his shit

[The Boofon]

Just dent his car it looks more valuable than yours anyway.

 

Or you could let it go, worse things will happen in the world today.

 

Your choice.

How do you know who owns which car?

 

EDIT: Don't answer that. FFS.

[dave_min]

Strongly worded note.

[Bluto10]

Harsh language

[daytripping]

Strongly worded note.

 

This.

 

Asking him not to do it again, that will teach him.

[Notorious Chee]

Trolley Jack, some trays under his wheels. Drag the car to the road, phone the LAPD about an abandoned car? Prick will think it's stolen, then have to cough up a recovery fee to get it back.

 

 

Or torch it.

[buchanskii]

If you know his life story then you must have an idea of his vulnerabilities. For example, he's Muslim, cover his car in bacon.

[daytripping]

You could put sugar in his petrol if it isn't a locking cap.

 

Or maybe jam a banana up his exhaust.

[The Boofon]

 

Or maybe jam a banana up his exhaust.

 

 

You're a Liverpool fan Tyrant.

 

Just bury him under a wall.

[daytripping]

 

 

You're a Liverpool fan Tyrant.

 

Just bury him under a wall.

 

I had a feeling that one would get a response.

 

Aye Tyrant, crush him against a fence then rob him, you can then spend the rest of your life denying you were to blame, an innocent policeman or someone else can take the fall.

[The Boofon]

 

I had a feeling that one would get a response.

 

Aye Tyrant, crush him against a fence then rob him, you can then spend the rest of your life denying you were to blame, an innocent policeman or someone else can take the fall.

 

 

Not a kick in the arse off the truth there to be honest. ^^^^^^^^

[TwoStars]

Have sex with his exhaust. Only plausible thing to do.

[spamspamspam]

A large chain and padlock.

 

Large enough to wrap right around the car securing both doors shut.

 

Do it in his own driveway

 

Maybe on a Sunday night

 

That would be a great start to the week.

[Tyrant]

Just dent his car it looks more valuable than yours anyway.

 

Or you could let it go, worse things will happen in the world today.

 

Your choice.

 

Da ken like. His must be a good 8 or 9 years older than mine. And I'm nae saying it's crime of the centuary but it's extremely selfish and anti-social. I'm sure the vast majority of you lot would be equally as annoyed as I and not just say "Ah well. The poor guy must have been running late for his work so I don't mind." It's also worth nothing that he was blocking about 2 thirds of the pavement also.

 

 

Strongly worded note.

 

Everyone suggesting this obviously didn't read the part where I said that I left him a note. But I feel he got off too lightly. He doesn't work at the same place as I do so I have no access to confront him. If he did I would have explained that it's not on, accepted his inevitable apology and moved on.

 

I don't have (easy) access to drugs and he isn't muslim. Obviously I'm not going to torch his car. That would be mental.

[Tyrant]

I appreciate the offer but could you explain how that will help me in my quest for vengance?

[boboisared]

Is this a serious thread?

[Tommy]

Is this a serious thread?

I think it's an appeal to get into your roid club.

[Dynamo]

He's already in it.

[Tommy]

He's already in it.

Nae fuckin wonder.

[The Boofon]

Nae fuckin wonder.

Language please.

 

TWL's loon might be reading.