We're All Going On A Kelty Holiday

[Ke1t]

Currently find myself at the arse end of nowhere in Michigan's backwoods Upper Peninsula.

 

This place makes Wick look like fucking London.

 

What's the shittest place you've holidayed?

[ChutneyLove]

Can this be a tup-esque holiday thread? I've been to Blackpool.

[Bobby Connor]

Can this be a tup-esque holiday thread? I've been to Blackpool.

Oh please. Folkestone is the answer Kelt and we even went on a wee away trip to France. Total shit holes both sides of the channel.

[Ke1t]

Currently on some National Park forest somewhere. Internets and cell service are patchy as fuck, and there are bears and fucking wolves roaming around like mad bastards.

 

I booted a chipmunk about 20 feet into the air... had never seen a chipmunk before. Saw it, punted it. Little cunt of a thing.

 

Bought myself some CS gas just on case a black bear tries some fancy shit on with me... also bought a big walking stick thing to batter wildlife that gets too close.

 

Fucking nature... it can take a run and fuck.

[ChutneyLove]

Sounds just like Blackpool. Is there a tower?

[Bobby Connor]

Sounds just like Blackpool. Is there a tower?

I don't think there is even a tower. Sounds horrendous.

[Ke1t]

No towers, but there are iron and coppermines west of us. I think we're going to a mine in the next day or so, so that'a pretty amazing... a fucking mine... who'd have thought that a humble loon from Aberdeen could ever get to see the inside of a mine... it's fantastical and magical.

 

Took a 10 mile hike to see some pishy waterfall today... that's where the chipmunk got it in the neck.

 

Wife and loon are having a great time... but I'm probably close to catching and killing some four legged fucker at this point.

[daytripping]

Once went into a travel agent on Union street with a couple mates...want a cheap 2 week holiday somewhere fun next week. We always went to Tenerife but fancied a change, the young pretty lady told us Benitses in Corfu would be perfect.

 

What a fucking shithole, 1 day in the place would have been too long, mosquito ridden open sewer hell hole, the one night club shut when the police with a broken headlight on the motor said no more, between 11 and 3, the beach was stones, we had no pool, hotel at the top of a hill that was like windmill brae but steeper and ten times longer.

 

You wiped your arse and the paper had to go in a bin, pipes were too narrow apparently, go on the street and the open sewers meant you could follow your pee to town, all in view, rats, flies, mossies everywhere.

 

I have a further big story from that holiday but will bite my lip, I'm becoming stereotyped on here, I'm a nice guy.

[daytripping]

The biggest piss take was the kebabs were 3/4 chips at the end of the night, you're in the fucking home of kebabs and they were a million percent worse than the crap places on George street. Rose street kebabs are cool but these were just wtf..

 

Never ever go to Benetsis, I'll never go near fucking Greece on the back of it, backward cunts

[Ke1t]

Just tell us who you battered, you filthy casual

[daytripping]

Just tell us who you battered, you filthy casual

 

What would you do if the group of 4 loud English guys above you on the balcony stakes came home one night and thought it would be a laugh to dump their litter and take away wrappers on the balcony below??

[Dandyesque]

Why would you go to Kelty on holiday? The place is a dump.

 

I'd rather go to Wick

[Ke1t]

 

What would you do if the group of 4 loud English guys above you on the balcony stakes came home one night and thought it would be a laugh to dump their litter and take away wrappers on the balcony below??

Back in the day I'd have written them some pretty cutting poetry and slid it under their door.

 

I'm guessing there was no poetry involved in the scenario you describe?

[ChutneyLove]

"You used our balcony as a bin,

Now you'll get your heids kicked in."

 

Maybe something like that from dayts and his muckers.

[daytripping]

Very close Kelt..a sternly written note and a dildo stuck on their door knob. hahaha.

 

I wish I'd thought of that back then, my brother was there..ask him!!

[reekie_dock]

I bet following the stern conversation it was conculded with

 

"YA FUCKING ENGLISH CUNTS"

[King Street Loon]

I went to Corfu once dayts.

Stayed in Kavos,and it was a shithole too.

Went to the bog in some nightclub (name escapes me) and was confronted with the sight that someone had done a shit in the wash hand basin.

Filthy cunts.

[Stoney]

tain........ its cack

[The Boofon]

No towers, but there are iron and coppermines west of us. I think we're going to a mine in the next day or so, so that'a pretty amazing... a fucking mine... who'd have thought that a humble loon from Aberdeen could ever get to see the inside of a mine... it's fantastical and magical.

Took a 10 mile hike to see some pishy waterfall today... that's where the chipmunk got it in the neck.

Wife and loon are having a great time... but I'm probably close to catching and killing some four legged fucker at this point.

You say that sarcastically but choose the correct mine and it's jaw dropping.

 

Was down this one the other week. Absolutely stunning.

 

 

http://www.carnglaze.com

[dave_min]

Baltimore.

[ChutneyLove]

You say that sarcastically but choose the correct mine and it's jaw dropping.

 

Was down this one the other week. Absolutely stunning.

 

 

http://www.carnglaze.com

 

Did you get pins and needles?

[Nelly]

Been to Greece a couple of times and the bogs in the pubs and clubs are the most disgusting that you'll ever see near the end of a night, but I'd still rather that than have to go to Scarborough again.

[Stoney]

Been to Greece a couple of times and the bogs in the pubs and clubs are the most disgusting that you'll ever see near the end of a night, but I'd still rather that than have to go to Scarborough again.

 

Went to athens with the dons and hated every bit of the greek way off life.

 

The greeks are cunts and their city is a shithole.

 

To round off the trip we almost got clattered 70euros on the train for having the wrong tickets, we jumped off and got a taxi, Mates said that the cops were waiting for us to get off the next train........ nae luck

 

Cunts. Will never go back

[The Boofon]

 

Did you get pins and needles?

No.

 

Some goosebumps. It was freezing.

[dave_min]

For reasons I've never fully understood, the Kebab situation in Prague is excellent.

[BrianFaePerth]

 

We ended up in a carry on with the English aswell. My pal scaled a fence with spikes on top, right through his foot.

 

 

 

Was this your pal?

 

[radiatorbleeder]

Milton-Fucking-Keynes

[Henry]

Milton-Fucking-Keynes

 

It's a thriving town, full of great arkitec, archetecty, buildings, it's in England, what;s nt too love?

 

Plus

 

Graet pubs

 

[Bluto10]

No its actually a modern town famous for its many roundabouts.

You fuckin arsehole.

[dave_min]

It was the place to be in the 80's, I remember when MK Dons won the FA Cup in 1988 - there was dancing in the streets of Milton that night.