Jump to content

Torphins.


Redforever86

Recommended Posts


The baker shut approximately 3 years ago, now a charity shop. The butcher which was also very good shut around 5 years ago, now turned in to two flats.

 

Not sure what the Learney's like nowadays as I haven't been in for approx 8 years after a late night fracas.

 

The chinky take away is ok but not as good as the one in Kinker; 3 miles away or the one's in banchory; 7 miles away.

 

Golf course (9 holder) is quite hilly but cheap, cheerful and a friendly group of members.

 

If you like jogging, biking or walking amongst hills, you're spoilt for choice.

 

 

All in all it's a pleasant little village, but depending on your budget or preferred location, Banchory or Ballater are the best places to reside if you fancy Deeside.

 

 

 

 

Rumpus: For all your Deeside trip advisor requirements....

Link to comment

On the subject of Torphins..I've been banned from the local hotel three times.

 

For throwing a rock through the lounge bar window, for kicking a woman in the stomach and for shooting the chef (accidently) with an air pistol.

 

But the best fun I had was shagging the bejezus out of the hotel owner's daughter when she was just 16.

 

Her Dad, who was a big posh Englishman, found out and gave me a bit of a doing, he did the same when I almost got into his wife's pants after a lock in..

 

I fucked the youngster everywhere. In the guest rooms, in the hotel kitchen, on the dining tables and quite often she was spread-eagled on the bonnet of Daddy's Jaguar.

 

One such time she'd kept her watch on and the car suffered a few scratches. This prompted the owner to take pot shots at the neighbouring cat with the same air pistol used to shot the chef.

 

 

 

Reminisce over, thanks for your time.

  • Upvote 8
Link to comment

Similar to Rumpus, I also got smashed in Torphins. Fingered a bird at Torphins marquee a few year ago, her brother saw us, pushed me away and caught me a beauty. Phoned my ma to get a lift hame, told my bird at the time it was a hun who hit me. Shiner for a week min. Some bonny hooses though. Watch your daughter would be the overriding advice from this thread.

Link to comment

On the subject of Torphins..I've been banned from the local hotel three times.

 

For throwing a rock through the lounge bar window, for kicking a woman in the stomach and for shooting the chef (accidently) with an air pistol.

 

 

But the best fun I had was shagging the bejezus out of the hotel owner's daughter when she was just 16.

 

Her Dad, who was a big posh Englishman, found out and gave me a bit of a doing, he did the same when I almost got into his wife's pants after a lock in..

 

I fucked the youngster everywhere. In the guest rooms, in the hotel kitchen, on the dining tables and quite often she was spread-eagled on the bonnet of Daddy's Jaguar.

 

One such time she'd kept her watch on and the car suffered a few scratches. This prompted the owner to take pot shots at the neighbouring cat with the same air pistol used to shot the chef.

 

 

 

Reminisce over, thanks for your time.

Rumpus, you say you nearly got in the mother's pants, it's a wonder there was room for you, she had one cunt and one arsehole in there already!
  • Upvote 1
Link to comment

Similar to Rumpus, I also got smashed in Torphins. Fingered a bird at Torphins marquee a few year ago, her brother saw us, pushed me away and caught me a beauty. Phoned my ma to get a lift hame, told my bird at the time it was a hun who hit me. Shiner for a week min. Some bonny hooses though. Watch your daughter would be the overriding advice from this thread.

 

Similar to Rumpus???

 

Preposterous.

 

A gay nurse gets a dunt in the face for trying it on with a farmers boyfriend, shits himself and immediately phones Mummy?

 

Barking up the wrong tree there boyo....

  • Upvote 11
Link to comment

No. Did that when I was 21 min. In a bed. With a mate.

 

These days I can handle my bodily functions

 

I cant believe 4 hours has passed and not one person has questioned this statement

 

@@Bluto10 Blootery bugs,

 

Who was this mate ?

 

Did you get Shit on him/her

 

Did you shit on him/her when he/she withdrew????

 

 

 

Tarland or Tarlair used to have an outdoor sea fed swimming pool I used to frequent when i was younger

 

Torphins is lovely in August

 

Thats all I know

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...