Crime

[manboobs109]

In light of one of our posters (Reekie) falling victim to a crime perpetrated by another, lesser, poster (rumpus) at the weekend, I thought it might be the time to discuss our own experiences with crime, both as victims and perpetrators. Be as honest as possible but try not to incriminate yourself. What crimes have you committed and what have you fallen victim to? Have you been busted? Been in the jail?

 

Boofon gets a head start being a victim of mental terrorist shit obviously.

[1903Fitba]

Ive been fortunate enough to never be a victim of crime.

 

The only 'crime' I commit these days is probably speeding.

 

 

I am a great person.

[ebbe]

Back in 2008 Getting a whack stolen aff me whilst in a private room at the old Angel's on Bridge Street. Was over £700. I'd just cashed in my 1-1 Ronaldo 1st scorer (£20 on at 45/1) from the champions league final the day before and stupidly decided to take a mate out on the ran dan. By the time this Romanian lovely had finished with me I about £70 left. I kicked off something rotten but unfortunately, didn't get anywhere. Back the following day sober with a few boys to be told the lassie in question had left and wouldn't be back. That was a sickener.

[manboobs109]

Back in 2008 Getting a whack stolen aff me whilst in a private room at the old Angel's on Bridge Street. Was over £700. I'd just cashed in my 1-1 Ronaldo 1st scorer (£20 on at 45/1) from the champions league final the day before and stupidly decided to take a mate out on the ran dan. By the time this Romanian lovely had finished with me I about £70 left. I kicked off something rotten but unfortunately, didn't get anywhere. Back the following day sober with a few boys to be told the lassie in question had left and wouldn't be back. That was a sickener.

Did you at least get your cock wet?

[manboobs109]

Ive been fortunate enough to never be a victim of crime.

 

The only 'crime' I commit these days is probably speeding.

 

 

I am a great person.

Never had a punch in the pus?

[tup]

Aye I've been in jail, twice, but both times I managed to get off scot free in court, mainly because I did nothing wrong.

 

Was accused of all sorts but it came down to interpretation in the end, a death threat is only a death threat in the eye of the beholder.

[1903Fitba]

Never had a punch in the pus?

Aye. But most times I've either deserved it or started it.

 

I'd put that in the same category as watching 18+ films when I was 17

[manboobs109]

Aye I've been in jail, twice, but both times I managed to get off scot free in court, mainly because I did nothing wrong.

 

Was accused of all sorts but it came down to interpretation in the end, a death threat is only a death threat in the eye of the beholder.

Stalker

[mcdougall(4)]

Got my flat robbed the week before Xmas, came home from a night out to find the place turned over.

 

Laptops, presents etc all gone.

 

Insurance didn't pay out (cunts)

 

The police were utterly humourless wankshafts.

[tup]

What I said and did was justified.

 

No matter what the law says you dinna stand for folk coming the cunt, unless you are a modern day snowflake.

[Clydeside_Sheep]

Did you at least get your cock wet?

 

Yes, he pissed himself the same night.

[Clydeside_Sheep]

I have been a victim of: theft, assault, hate speech, hit and run car crash, insurance fraud.

 

As for my own reign of lawlessness, the most frequent was / is relating to the purchase of cannabis - so not much of a criminal. But then, I was once given a talking to by the cops, for pissing in the street (a back alley) in Motherwell. I claimed I was freshening the place up.

[tup]

Weegies are usually up to their eyeballs in criminality and should really be exempt from the thread.

[The Village Seagull]

I've been a victim of ramming (non consensual).

[RAZOR]

Slow nags, fast dames.

 

Will cause any man bother.

[Poodler]

Battered an old man in his house in Rothienorman once. Got aff with it too.

[Bluto10]

Meat beating?

[Bluto10]

2 x Assault - threw a boy in front of a moving car and kicked in a bouncer (both made the papers)

1 x Breach of the Peace - shoved a pie in a boy's face in the Utd end at Tannadice (once they found out I was a dandy) Even the judge chuckled when he read out the reason for my court appearance

1 x Vandalism - not sure what that was for, but it's also on my charge sheet that was produced for my Saudi residence visa (which was rejected due to all of the above)

Got away with a lot too, but now on the straight and narrow.

Recieving end - my flat was broken into just the other week while I was away. Big thanks to @@milne_afc for sorting my shit out.

Was probably milnez that did it, the fuckin cunt

[Guest milne_afc]

Haha

[The Village Seagull]

I was Johnson.

[rumpus]

I cannot divulge my biggest crime as I didn't get caught.

 

No-one would believe it anyway. Only 1 other person in the whole wide world knows what happened.

[Ohjimmyjimmy]

I cannot divulge my biggest crime as I didn't get caught.

 

No-one would believe it anyway. Only 1 other person in the whole wide world knows what happened.

Just a dirty little secret between you and Sanjay.

[rumpus]

^ Hardly.

 

Real men don't brag about crimes they've committed. Cosa Nostradamus is key.

[reekie_dock]

Wallet has been found still with £145 note in it who would thought it in a pub full oh Weedgie bastards

[Quagmire]

Wallet has been found still with £145 note in it who would thought it in a pub full oh Weedgie bastards

 

after all that drama it seems you were just too spazdicated and dropped your wallet.

[Reed or deed]

Wallet has been found still with £145 note in it who would thought it in a pub full oh Weedgie bastards

 

Unusual way of avoiding standin yer hand min.

[E-P-K]

I will not be getting entry to USoA any time soon.

[The Boofon]

I will not be getting entry to USoA any time soon.

Turned Muslim?

[dave_min]

I once went to an Aberdeen game with a concession ticket when I was no longer a student.

[Reed or deed]

I once went to an Aberdeen game with a concession ticket when I was no longer a student.

I will recommend to the club that you are subsequently held liable for this and forced to pay the deficit plus costs and interest at a rate of 3000000%.