Youth Football Issues

[The Buzzard]

Anybody here involved in youth football coaching or have kids involved in teams?

 

I've got an issue I need to resolve with a disruptive child who keeps being asked to sit out of sessions and it's got to the point where the coaches are threatening to leave if he isn't removed from the team.

Now I don't think our club has a clear set of guidelines for such a thing to happen without the parent kicking up fuck and reporting it to authorities.

From what I hear the lad ruins sessions and it's obviously to the detriment of all the other kids.

I don't want to be telling any child they can't come to the club but the coaches need a bit of protection too in order to be able to keep a bit of discipline.

Anybody had experience of how to handle?

[Bluto10]

Prob a mink.

 

Bin him.

[Tommy]

Have a word with the parents and explain what he’s been like and tell them

to keep him away until he knows how to behave.

There is no authority they can report your club to as you are not in the wrong.

When I was involved in youth football we never had any problems at training but

there were a few times at games when a couple of them basically battered opposition

players. One was a boxer, a nice lad but by fuck football wasn’t for him.

[sooth_stander]

I think you would be well within your rights to politely tell the lad, and his parents, that his services are no longer required. You can't be fucked around by little cunts like him.

 

I've had my eyes opened these last 2.5 years, with my lad involved at his local boys club. Boys binned at 9 years old. Rival clubs, especially Lewis Utd and Albion, sniffing around trying to entice boys away. Cut throat business.

 

So, get rid. All he will do is piss the other players off, who will all leave

[Ke1t]

Anybody here involved in youth football coaching or have kids involved in teams?

 

I've got an issue I need to resolve with a disruptive child who keeps being asked to sit out of sessions and it's got to the point where the coaches are threatening to leave if he isn't removed from the team.

Now I don't think our club has a clear set of guidelines for such a thing to happen without the parent kicking up fuck and reporting it to authorities.

From what I hear the lad ruins sessions and it's obviously to the detriment of all the other kids.

I don't want to be telling any child they can't come to the club but the coaches need a bit of protection too in order to be able to keep a bit of discipline.

Anybody had experience of how to handle?

 

I've coached for AYSO for a few years, kids aged between 6 and 14 mainly, and there have been kids who've been disruptive, didn't want to play, parents who've demanded their kids play in a certain position, parents threatening to take their kids out of the team because of a clash of personalities or whatever other reasons.

 

AYSO offers certain guidelines for these kinds of eventualities, and I can link you to the resource here.

 

For my own part, though., I'll try to engage the kid before I escalate it to the parent. You can take a kid aside while the other kids are running drills or playing a practice match and just ask him what the problem is. Generally they'll tell you exactly what's wrong and you can deal with the issue as best you think.

 

I'll happily send a disruptive kid on punishment drills, a couple of times round the edge of the pitch, sprints the width of the pitch, or even time-outs. You can also train one on one with him... practice passing, one-touch, anticipation drills.... meaning he doesn't have the opportunity to fuck around and disrupt the other kids' practice sessions.

 

If nothing works with the kid then go to the parents. Tell them they're getting nothing for their money, since most parents don;t give a fuck if it's the other kids and their parents who are suffering as a result of their kids behaviour.

 

You're the coach for a lot of kids, not just their special project, and you need to be the one who makes the rules. If a kid is absolutely not going to co-operate then you're going to have to tell them that either your kid bucks up his ideas or he's off the team until he does. That includes training.

 

I've had parents get in my face telling me their kid is a midfielder when he's barely able to run one width of the field in a practice session. I told the parents that on my team their kid is a Right Back... not a midfielder. I'll happily explain to them why in progressively less diplomatic language.

 

Bottom line is as coach you're in charge. What you say goes... anyone not happy with that can file a complaint on their way out the door.

[tiktak]

What age is the kid?

[The Buzzard]

Cheers for the input guys.

 

I'm not directly involved in this, just been asked to help take a decision on it as head of the club.

 

I attended a meeting between the coach, officials and parent tonight to hear the opposite sides of the story. Sounds like the lad is a bit of a constant disruption. ADHD now getting thrown about as being the reason for this.

From what I hear if he comes back to the team then as well as the coach leaving, others parents will pull their kids from the team.

The kids are 2007s so there is always gonna be an element of fucking about but sounds like this boy just wastes it for everyone.

My feelings are the kid should be moved on but need to give it due process. I definitely need to try and create a process that sets out what's acceptable and what's not, and allow the coaches a bit of authority to lay the ground rules.

[The Buzzard]

 

I've coached for AYSO for a few years, kids aged between 6 and 14 mainly, and there have been kids who've been disruptive, didn't want to play, parents who've demanded their kids play in a certain position, parents threatening to take their kids out of the team because of a clash of personalities or whatever other reasons.

 

AYSO offers certain guidelines for these kinds of eventualities, and I can link you to the resource here.

 

For my own part, though., I'll try to engage the kid before I escalate it to the parent. You can take a kid aside while the other kids are running drills or playing a practice match and just ask him what the problem is. Generally they'll tell you exactly what's wrong and you can deal with the issue as best you think.

 

I'll happily send a disruptive kid on punishment drills, a couple of times round the edge of the pitch, sprints the width of the pitch, or even time-outs. You can also train one on one with him... practice passing, one-touch, anticipation drills.... meaning he doesn't have the opportunity to fuck around and disrupt the other kids' practice sessions.

 

If nothing works with the kid then go to the parents. Tell them they're getting nothing for their money, since most parents don;t give a fuck if it's the other kids and their parents who are suffering as a result of their kids behaviour.

 

You're the coach for a lot of kids, not just their special project, and you need to be the one who makes the rules. If a kid is absolutely not going to co-operate then you're going to have to tell them that either your kid bucks up his ideas or he's off the team until he does. That includes training.

 

I've had parents get in my face telling me their kid is a midfielder when he's barely able to run one width of the field in a practice session. I told the parents that on my team their kid is a Right Back... not a midfielder. I'll happily explain to them why in progressively less diplomatic language.

 

Bottom line is as coach you're in charge. What you say goes... anyone not happy with that can file a complaint on their way out the door.

Great info, Kelt, cheers. You're right, fucks me off that parents use our coaches like a babysitting service but they think they can tell the coaches where their child can play or how often.

[Ke1t]

You could go down the route of printing out the standards and behaviour you expect of players and parents, and anyone not meeting those standards going forward will be subject to removal from the team.

 

Have them sign it and return it.

 

Give them a couple of weeks to do so.

 

If they fail to return it, refuse to sign it, or fail to meet the expected standards then they've had fair warning.

[The Buzzard]

You have to adapt as a coach.

Agreed but hard to also adapt to one child at the detriment to the rest.

[The Buzzard]

Have a word with the parents and explain what hes been like and tell them

to keep him away until he knows how to behave.

There is no authority they can report your club to as you are not in the wrong.

When I was involved in youth football we never had any problems at training but

there were a few times at games when a couple of them basically battered opposition

players. One was a boxer, a nice lad but by fuck football wasnt for him.

The parent acknowledges that he can be a difficult child but doesn't seem to see the big picture.

He says he'd report the team because on the occasion that this all blew up, there was only the one coach supervising and no first aider in attendance. However, the guys had made an arrangement with one of our other teams that they could call on assistance if required.

[The Buzzard]

I think you would be well within your rights to politely tell the lad, and his parents, that his services are no longer required. You can't be fucked around by little cunts like him.

 

I've had my eyes opened these last 2.5 years, with my lad involved at his local boys club. Boys binned at 9 years old. Rival clubs, especially Lewis Utd and Albion, sniffing around trying to entice boys away. Cut throat business.

 

So, get rid. All he will do is piss the other players off, who will all leave

I work in politics but I'll tell you what, the politics within a football club are worse than what a deal with on a daily basis!

[The Buzzard]

Prob a mink.

 

Bin him.

Would love to!

[The Buzzard]

Sorry, reading this on phone so can't multi quote and had to reply to each individually!

[tiktak]

The parent acknowledges that he can be a difficult child but doesn't seem to see the big picture.

He says he'd report the team because on the occasion that this all blew up, there was only the one coach supervising and no first aider in attendance. However, the guys had made an arrangement with one of our other teams that they could call on assistance if required.

And therein lies your answer. Fucking parents can be a pain in the arse. I just don't see what the problem is at all. Behave or leave, simple as that. Misbehave at training then you don't play at the weekend. Tell the parent that the coaches haven't been able to find a way have a positive influence on the kid and he'd be better trying somewhere else. Whoever it is the parent thinks he can report the club to will be very well aware that there are problem boys and parents out there. Nothing will happen to the club or anyone else if you drum them out of the club.

[Dal Riata Don]

Do what Ke1t has said.

 

Then,

 

You've got a phone.

 

Start filming the training sessions for 'educational training purposes and individual guidance'.

 

[send a few videos out to parents showing what their kids have done well so as to normalize the process]

 

Eventually this lad with the issues will act up on camera.

 

That's the bit that you show to his parents and why he can't go on.

 

You don't want to thrown him out on the basis of your opinion - don't then - throw him out on the basis of hard evidence.

[Chewie37]

Do what Ke1t has said.

 

Then,

 

You've got a phone.

 

Start filming the training sessions for 'educational training purposes and individual guidance'.

 

[send a few videos out to parents showing what their kids have done well so as to normalize the process]

 

Eventually this lad with the issues will act up on camera.

 

That's the bit that you show to his parents and why he can't go on.

 

You don't want to thrown him out on the basis of your opinion - don't then - throw him out on the basis of hard evidence.

 

All to be done with permissions obviously, you’ve got to be very careful nowadays with kids. Definitely don’t let the parent blackmail you with being reported about that first aider issue, they’ll just keep pushing and think they can get away with anything. Best thing would be to suspend the kid until you have an agreed behaviour plan in place, you’d have to give it to all the other kids too to be fair and just.

[The Boofon]

Cheers for the input guys.

 

I'm not directly involved in this, just been asked to help take a decision on it as head of the club.

 

I attended a meeting between the coach, officials and parent tonight to hear the opposite sides of the story. Sounds like the lad is a bit of a constant disruption. ADHD now getting thrown about as being the reason for this.

From what I hear if he comes back to the team then as well as the coach leaving, others parents will pull their kids from the team.

The kids are 2007s so there is always gonna be an element of fucking about but sounds like this boy just wastes it for everyone.

My feelings are the kid should be moved on but need to give it due process. I definitely need to try and create a process that sets out what's acceptable and what's not, and allow the coaches a bit of authority to lay the ground rules.

Get him to fuck.

[maryhilldon]

Give him a good shag, that'll knock him into shape.

[Guest milne_afc]

^^^

Big team found

[vanderark14]

I think you would be well within your rights to politely tell the lad, and his parents, that his services are no longer required. You can't be fucked around by little cunts like him.

 

I've had my eyes opened these last 2.5 years, with my lad involved at his local boys club. Boys binned at 9 years old. Rival clubs, especially Lewis Utd and Albion, sniffing around trying to entice boys away. Cut throat business.

 

So, get rid. All he will do is piss the other players off, who will all leave

I remember watching Albion trounce a team 12-1 in a cup final, the Albion coach celebrated every goal like it was the winning goal in the World Cup final. The guy was a complete loser, at the end he was going mental as if he’d created a tactical masterclass. Albion had players from as far away as Dundee and Inverness. I got the impression it was more about making sure the coach and club won everything rather than actually helping the players become better players.

 

This was around five years ago so things may have changed by now.

[maryhilldon]

I remember watching Albion trounce a team 12-1 in a cup final, the Albion coach celebrated every goal like it was the winning goal in the World Cup final. The guy was a complete loser

Sounds more like a winner.

[sooth_stander]

I remember watching Albion trounce a team 12-1 in a cup final, the Albion coach celebrated every goal like it was the winning goal in the World Cup final. The guy was a complete loser, at the end he was going mental as if he’d created a tactical masterclass. Albion had players from as far away as Dundee and Inverness. I got the impression it was more about making sure the coach and club won everything rather than actually helping the players become better players.

 

This was around five years ago so things may have changed by now.

LOL.

 

It hasn't, Albion and Lewis Utd carry on like Celtic and Rangers, at 2007 level anyway.

 

Lewis have just stolen our best two players. They sniff about, asking whereabouts your boy will be playing on the saturday, for his school, so they can have a look at him in action. At the end of the day, its the parents of the boys who are also at fault, they should tell any boys clubs coaches sniffing about that their sons are staying where they are. But there needs to be guidelines put in place whereby boys cannot be "traded" in this way till at least in secondary school

 

MInd you, AFC are no better. Taking boys at 8 years old, stopping them playing for both their school and Boys club. Then dump them when they don't shape up.

 

Anyway, back on track. I'm sure both me and my son signed a form whereby we agree to abide by the rules of the club, in relation to stuff like behaviour. Doesn't matter if the boy has ADHD, however regretable that is, you are not a school, you're trying to build a football team. Get shot of him. All he is doing is affecting the development of his team mates. And parents shouldn't be interfering and telling the coaches which position their son should be playing, I leave my son in the care of his coach and where he plays, he plays.

[The Buzzard]

I was thinking about this ADHD thing earlier. It's a fairly recent development that we have started hearing about these types of conditions. Probably when we were younger it was just put down to being full of energy!

However, I accept it's something that is now recognised and more and more kids have this or similar.

The thought occurred to me that maybe the club should see this as an opportunity to address things like this. We're big enough in size where I'd bet that we probably have a few kids with these conditions. The feedback I heard last night is that the boy just wants to play football. Maybe we create a section which we can take these kids from the 'mainstream' and give them a less structured outlet to play. We'd need to properly support it with coaches and volunteers which won't be easy I'm guessing.

That all sounds a bit 'soft' but I guess we need to find a way of doing right by all, even though my personal opinion is like the majority here.

Other option is parent, child and coach all agree to sign up to some kind of behaviour guarantee from the child and constant supervision by the parent. Steps out of line then it's time to go.

[maryhilldon]

I hate this kid.

[Ke1t]

Probably suprising to hear me say this, but if the loon genuinely wants to play fitba then i would persevere.

 

In the org I coach in the philosophy is 'Everybody plays'... and they mean that literally. Americans are truly clueless about 'soccer' and they think that its a sport for kids who arent capable of playing 'real' sports like baseball, football, or basketball. As a result my teams, at the beginning of the season, always have kids who have physical or mental disabilities, because the parents reckon its a good way to get their kid some exercise without playing a real sport.

 

I've had everything in my side from autism to rage issues to physical handicaps, and the parents quickly realise that their kid just isn't capable of meeting even the basic needs to play the game. They usually fall away pretty quickly, but sometimes they'll stick with it to the end.

 

If they're making the effort to turn up then there must be a degree of interest to actually participate, and any disruption is incidental, even if conscious. Not knowing anything about the kid or the parents it's hard to say what i'd do, but I think i'd talk to the parents to gague their level of co-operation in improving his behaviour.

 

If they're not interested in meeting you half way then that's a problem. Some people are just arseholes, and no amount of willingness to compromise on your part is going to change that. But a conversation with the parents is critical before deciding on a course of action.

[mcdougall(4)]

Maybe you could get all players and parents to sign up to a code of conduct at the start of the season.

 

With clearly identified behaviours, outcomes and ultimately penalties.

[The Buzzard]

Maybe you could get all players and parents to sign up to a code of conduct at the start of the season.

 

With clearly identified behaviours, outcomes and ultimately penalties.

That should have been done before, without a doubt. I'm definitely going to try and have this type of thing up and running soon.

[The Buzzard]

Can I just say Buzz and I mean this genuinely

 

You seem like a FUCKING lovely guy!!

My word! Thanks very much @@Millertime!

[Dynamo]

Do kids who have ADHD not get Ritalin?

Anyway, the parent also to blame here. As usually the case.