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Thread O Recipes


Ke1t

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Youre going to need:

 

1 x car

1 x trip to the local chipper

 

If you have no local chipper, I suggest you go out for a drive collecting a selection of rotten roadkill (various stages of decomposition) cut out their arseholes. Grind the arseholes through a mincer then fashion the roadkill arsehole mixture into chop shaped pates.

Dip into a batter mixture (recipe can be found on Internet) then deep fry

 

Mock chops

?
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My dad used to love a mock chop.....gadz min. I always had a white pudding with a ton of ketchup and an Irn Bru. Then when I lived in Menzies Rd across from Mikes, got addicted to a Spicy Haggis supper, was ace. New Years résolution for 2000 was to not eat from the chipper for a year, to be healthy and haven’t since

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I believe so , yes.

 

We have a wide array of options in our chippers.

Mock chops, white pudding, red pudding, black pudding etc which are less common/non existent further south.

You'll get a black pudding in any chippie down here, but when i first moved down here and tried to buy a red or white pudding they thought i was taking the piss.

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Well, I've found a recipe for a King Rib, which as previously mentioned IS a similar but superior iteration of the 'processed shite' food group. So I may be going ahead with that.

 

The hunt for a Mock Chop recipe continues, though.

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I could probably guess at the ingredients, but I want the authentic chipper experience, not some "Aye, I suppose it's a bit like a mock chop" experience.

 

Like Chicken Tikka Masala... still havnae found a recipe that tastes like the Nasma Tandoori's quality offering. Aye, the stuff I make is a bit like Chicken Tikka Masala, but if I'm being honest with myself is it fuck.

 

So that's another recipe I need.

 

Restaurant Chicken Tikka Masala like you get in an Aberdeen Indian restaurant, and none of this shite you see made on the telly chef programs.

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Its fucked up as well cause the cunts cooking it are usually low grade street shitters.

 

I think that's why it annoys us so much.

 

Nail on the heid.

 

And it's not like they're crafting some kind of Heston Blumenthal Thousand Quid a Plate experience... you know they're dumping a can of tomato sauce into a pot with some expired chicken bits, some heavy cream, and... whatever else it is, the cunts.

 

It's something they can knock together in ten minutes in an unwashed pot with third rate ingredients... so why in the fuck is it impossible to recreate it in a kitchen when you're measuring shit out exactly and trying everything you can to replicate what should be a simple enough process?

 

It's beyond fucking annoying.

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I could probably guess at the ingredients, but I want the authentic chipper experience, not some "Aye, I suppose it's a bit like a mock chop" experience.

 

Like Chicken Tikka Masala... still havnae found a recipe that tastes like the Nasma Tandoori's quality offering. Aye, the stuff I make is a bit like Chicken Tikka Masala, but if I'm being honest with myself is it fuck.

 

So that's another recipe I need.

 

Restaurant Chicken Tikka Masala like you get in an Aberdeen Indian restaurant, and none of this shite you see made on the telly chef programs.

 

BIR currys look like the way to get that authentic curry take away taste, the secret looks to be in all the faff making the base gravy.

 

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BIR currys look like the way to get that authentic curry take away taste, the secret looks to be in all the faff making the base gravy.

 

 

See, I'm definitely going to try this recipe... and it's going to be a disappointment guaranteed.

 

I might need to get one of the kitchen staff kidnapped and roughed up a wee bit to get the actual recipe for restaurant chicken tikka masala.

 

Now... where might I find some lad that would like to rough up a broon fella?

 

No-one like that round these parts I'm sure :laughing:

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Hell raiser

Oh, did I write on the wrong thread? No, I didn't.....shove it Cavey :laughing:

 

Mock chop is apparently minced lamb and beef with spicy seasoning......doesn't really help much. Battered and fried anyway. I can actually make chips as good as a chippers btw in an ordinary pan, the trick is doing a double fry and letting them sit a few mins in between frying them the second time. I'd soak them in water a few mins to get out some of the excess starch too, but whatever floats your boat

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