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Where Would You Live And Why?

Redforever86

By Redforever86,
in The Pub

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Ke1t Grand Master

Ke1t

Posted
Posted

There's a few places I fancy heading to when I decide to cash in and get out of here.

 

Bhutan. Little Indian/Bhutanese lad I used to work with back in the day when coding was a thing would tell me tales of life back home in the little mountain Kingdom of Bhutan. Sandwiched between India and China, It sounds like a cross between the Wild West and a Hunter S Thompson Novel. Nothing he told me about the place sounded bad, even when he was trying to tell me how terrible it was. The more he'd tell me about how bad it was the more I wanted to live there. Sitting square in the Himalayas, he'd tell me how they'd grow weed out in the back of their houses, then cut it and lay it out on the roof to dry. Laws were more guidelines than hard and fast rules, and there was little in the way of official harassment from the filth when you got pished up/stoned and shot your rifle in the air of a weekend. Also, I'd like to see/fight a Yeti. I reckon they'd be big, powerful bastards like gorillas or the like, but not possessing much in the way of fighting skills. Get one of them in a quick wrist lock and the fight's as good as over. 

 

 

 

Canada. Big, empty, and spacious, like the inside of @@tup 's heid. Get a few hundred acres of wilderness, throw up a solar array and a satellite dish, maybe get some big animals for meat and some hardy crops for the short growing season. Absolute isolation, but an internet connection for the porns. Maybe build a sturdy cabin out of local pine or spruce, trade animal skins and glass beads with the Inuit for a shottie of their women... they kind of look Asian, and that's all you can ask for. Also, lots of big animals like bear and moose. Could chin a bear handily, but moose are fucking enormous... would probably use a machete to sort them oot. You try taking on a moose with your bare hands and it's going to fuck you every time. 

 

Australia. Same deal as Canada, only hotter than fuck. Can work on my sun tan, farm kangaroos and some kind of fruit trees. Build an adobe compound, maybe a wee plane to get back and forth from civilisation to my remote outpost. Also, as mentioned previously, kangaroos have a rep for being hard as fuck, but most of that rep comes from the Sylvester the Cat cartoons where the fat wee kangaroo routinely batters Sylvester. In real life I think they'd struggle against a proper opponent. Not sure if kangaroos have wrists, but they definitely have necks, unlike @@tup , so getting one in a choke hold should be fairly straightforward. 

 

Russia. Really don't care for European Russia. Full of miserable, racist cunts who look like their dog just died. But once you get out into the Taiga it's all forest, nearly devoid of humans. You could set up your own little kingdom out there, maybe enslave some of the local hunter/gatherer groups who wander around the place. A bit like Sean Connery in The Man Who Would Be King, except for the bit with the bridge. I could see me being a powerful potentate, ruling over my simple, yet hard-working subjects with a benevolent rod of iron. Bears and reindeer are the indigenous animals out there, neither of which are going to pose a problem. Growing food is not going to happen, too short a growing season, so it's a meat-based diet which is fine. 

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Clydeside_Sheep Mentor

Clydeside_Sheep

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Amsterdam.

 

Beautiful, laid back city with lots to see and do.

 

Everyone speaks good english.

 

Easy access to loads of doobie.

 

Good transport links.

 

Honourable mentions to Berlin and Budapest.

 

Berlin falls down slightly on the spoken english and doobie front.

 

Budapest falls down slightly on the doobie front, but makes up for it on the hot chick front.  However, doobie > hot chicks, alas for Budapest.

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Ke1t Grand Master

Ke1t

Posted
Posted

Amsterdam.

 

Beautiful, laid back city with lots to see and do.

 

Everyone speaks good english.

 

Easy access to loads of doobie.

 

Good transport links.

 

Honourable mentions to Berlin and Budapest.

 

Berlin falls down slightly on the spoken english and doobie front.

 

Budapest falls down slightly on the doobie front, but makes up for it on the hot chick front.  However, doobie > hot chicks, alas for Budapest.

 

The wife is in Budapest right now. Keeps sending me pics of the Danube, because there's nothing as fascinating to me as a big fucking river. 

 

Told her to be on her guard, though, because I've seen Taken and Taken 2 and Taken 3, and she doesn't want to end up kidnapped and sold to the Arabs. I see enough of those cunts to know you don't want one owning you like they do wee Maddie. "Bide awa fae the wee back streets" I warned her, only for her to later call me and tell me she was in some fucking basement along some back street market, buying 'authentic' Magyar shit fae a wee Gypo wifie. She's going to end up with a bag on her heid and some swarthy Hungarian rapist's cock up her arsehole... 

 

Asked her to get me a Honved shirt. 

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Clydeside_Sheep Mentor

Clydeside_Sheep

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Berlin is wonderful, fucking love it, nae that keen on Budapest though (bar the thermal baths*).

 

*and Buda Labyrinth.

 

I have only been to Budapest once, but was very taken by it.

 

In some ways it reminded me of Berlin - likely a big reason I liked it - but further east and with hotter chicks.

 

It is layered in history, another big reason I liked it.

 

When we were there, there was some kind of "eastern peoples festival" on when all these exotic eastern folk were showcasing their prowess with horse riding and punting their own cuisine, folk singing and milling about with their national / tribal dress on. 

 

Very interesting, I really did feel i was on the cusp of 'something different' that sense.

 

A lot of Scottish connections in the city too.  In St Stephens Basilica, there is a wee chapel right up the back, which has a stained glass window of Saint (Queen) Margaret of Scotland (she was born in Hungary).  North and South Queensferry owe their names to her.

 

And the chain link bridge over the Danube was built by a Scottish Engineer, whose name I don't remember.  The modern one is a replica, after our European partners the Germans blew up the original in 1945.  (Ironically, in his own lifetime, the Scots Engineer managed to thwart two military plots to blow up his precious bridge).

 

Did I mention the women are gorgeous?

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Clydeside_Sheep Mentor

Clydeside_Sheep

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The wife is in Budapest right now. Keeps sending me pics of the Danube, because there's nothing as fascinating to me as a big fucking river. 

 

 

Impress her by informing her the chain link bridge over the river was built by a Scotsman (the original was anyway, the Germans blew it up, and it was rebuilt).

 

And the tunnel which leads down to it on one side of the river was build by an Englishman.

 

Apparently the locals would joke that the tunnel was to store the bridge in, when it was raining (humour has never been their thing).

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muttonhumper Veteran

muttonhumper

Posted
Posted

 

In some ways it reminded me of Berlin 

 

When we were there, there was some kind of "eastern peoples festival" on when all these exotic eastern folk were showcasing their prowess with horse riding and punting their own cuisine, folk singing and milling about with their national / tribal dress on. 

 

1 - Heroes Square - instantly brought Berlin to mind.

 

2- Scotland - move yourself from the dark side.  :P

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Ke1t Grand Master

Ke1t

Posted
Posted

Would you take off to Europe to win her back, Kelt?

 

 

Via Japan, obviously

 

I dunno... Europe's pretty far, like. And I don't like sitting on a plane for more than a couple of hours... plus it's a bad time of the year for me to be traveling. Also I've shit to get done here, despite me fucking around on the internet suggesting otherwise.  And I think after 48 hours your chances of finding an abducted family member are greatly reduced anyway. 

 

Probably be best to cut my losses and head to Japan. 

 

EminentColdFlycatcher-size_restricted.gi

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The Boofon Grand Master

The Boofon

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Posted

I dunno... Europe's pretty far, like. And I don't like sitting on a plane for more than a couple of hours... plus it's a bad time of the year for me to be traveling. Also I've shit to get done here, despite me fucking around on the internet suggesting otherwise. And I think after 48 hours your chances of finding an abducted family member are greatly reduced anyway.

 

Probably be best to cut my losses and head to Japan.

 

EminentColdFlycatcher-size_restricted.gi

She’s Arab anyway isn’t she?

 

Crikey trying to find a white bird would be bad enough but an Arab missing in the Middle East would be quite the needle in the haystack.

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Ke1t Grand Master

Ke1t

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Posted

Could see myself living a few places over the next decade. Would love to take the plunge and move to Bilbao, Madrid or Barcelona.

 

I've convinced the bird to start learning Spanish with me, so im progressing on the operation to convince her.

 

My favourite Hobbit. 

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Ke1t Grand Master

Ke1t

Posted
Posted

She’s Arab anyway isn’t she?

 

Crikey trying to find a white bird would be bad enough but an Arab missing in the Middle East would be quite the needle in the haystack.

 

Yeah, but to be fair I know what she looks like.

 

I'd most likely recognise her. 

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muttonhumper Veteran

muttonhumper

Posted
Posted

Could see myself living a few places over the next decade. Would love to take the plunge and move to Bilbao, Madrid or Barcelona.

 

I've convinced the bird to start learning Spanish with me, so im progressing on the operation to convince her.

 

I do like Madrid & Barcelona. Big feel cities.

Nae been to Bilbao, but San Sebastien / Donostia is fucking amazing.

Better that Madrid & Barcelona, IMHO.

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