euan2020 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 live in Texas "Stand your ground" laws or something like that friend has handgun in her nightstand drawer Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 I throw grenades down my stairs just in case anyone is hiding at the bottom Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 I throw grenades down my stairs just in case anyone is hiding at the bottom and shout fire in the hole just like in the movies Link to comment
Red_Rocket_1983 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 I do but ripping the radiator off the wall would take away the element of surprise. Link to comment
euan2020 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Was up at Huntsville Texas on Saturday - which is where Texas executes people so started taking a look at stats lot of these guys have real bad history https://deathpenaltyinfo.org/executions/upcoming-executions Link to comment
Studebaker-90 Posted August 12, 2019 Author Share Posted August 12, 2019 I hide whoopee cushions under the rugs so it sounds like the intruder farts. Link to comment
The Boofon Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 I’ve built hover foundations and my house sits on that. It floats fifteen feet in the air and has anti ladder grease applied to stop intruders. Also has a force shield above it to stop any potential parachutist intruders trying to enter. Link to comment
Simply Red Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Push and pull signs on all the doors in my house but the opposite of what they really are. No way im sleeping thru that minefield. Then when caught and tortured a bit id get the intruder to go to work for me in my place with the threat that i will burn his ma’s house down with her in it obvs. Link to comment
Fridge Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Get a bucket of hydrochloric acid and place it over your lobby door like the hilarious old water jape. Someone opens the door they are looking like Simon Weston, nae luck shouldn’t be fucking breaking into my house. I’ll put acid in a bucket where the fuck I want. Nae good if you get a text from your ‘mum saying she’s nipping round to pick up ironing and you miss the text though. Link to comment
Simply Red Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Keep my car keys in a box near the front door but a box like they put the stars in on celebrity jungle.But a bit worse. Snakes with aids. Cockroaches with rangers tops on. Rats on angel dust. Link to comment
Fridge Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Or leave your key in the door to entice a common thief. But you’ve actually wired it to the mains. Link to comment
The Boofon Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Encase your house in jelly. Write your name on all your property in tippex but miss out the last letter of your name. Link to comment
Studebaker-90 Posted August 12, 2019 Author Share Posted August 12, 2019 Don’t eat it though, chemicals. Link to comment
maryhilldon Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 I leave a large cash box lying around, with a spring loaded boxing glove inside. Link to comment
Studebaker-90 Posted August 12, 2019 Author Share Posted August 12, 2019 I’ve recently bought a lion which I keep in the vestibule Link to comment
The Boofon Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 I’ve filled the jewellery boxes with stinging nettles. Link to comment
Poodler Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 I’ve recently bought a lion which I keep in the vestibule Hahahaha. I leave my valuables with Michael Mols' wife. Ain't no one going near that Link to comment
Redforever86 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Got an ice axe in my wardrobe. Probably use that if I could be fucked getting out of bed. Ironically the ice axe is kind of nae mine. Link to comment
Redstar Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 My dog would munch the cuntsThe dogs a good early warning system...gives you time to get armed...an axe would be the best all rounder...can be used in a confined space and fairly damaging if you can land a head shot... Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Punji stake trap installed at the entrance to the beer stash Link to comment
Red_Rocket_1983 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Every week i destroy anything I have of value so that they get fuck all. Great thinking Link to comment
maryhilldon Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Slap them round the face with a big foam hand. They don't know what to think and retreat bewildered. Link to comment
Studebaker-90 Posted August 12, 2019 Author Share Posted August 12, 2019 Splash them in the face with one of those giant flowers that skooshes water Link to comment
Parklife Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Good choice. Any cunt can hit a 3 wood well. Link to comment
maryhilldon Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 That's not practical in tight confines. Better with a shorter putter. Link to comment
Studebaker-90 Posted August 12, 2019 Author Share Posted August 12, 2019 Tups driver? Link to comment
Pash Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 I would cut the power then play the Exorcist theme tune to scare them off. Or dress up as a ghost. Link to comment
maryhilldon Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Hahahaha. You laugh at all Studes jokes. Quite sweet. Link to comment
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