What's the worst injury you've inflicted...

[Poodler]

With a name like that I bet you're holding back a few stories

[BrianFaePerth]

Ha. I once opened a gate at Hillsborough when I was a steward and told anyone without a ticket it was free entry.

Luckily it’s all been forgotten about now and not in the news every 2 weeks.

@sickdonsfans

[BrianFaePerth]

Ha. I once opened a gate at Hillsborough when I was a steward and told anyone without a ticket it was free entry.

Luckily it’s all been forgotten about now and not in the news every 2 weeks.

 

Doubler. AK shags dugs

[StandFree1982]

I once bashed my wee toe on a table leg. It was the sort of pain that takes a couple of seconds to register, but when it does finally hit....Boy oh fucking boy....

 

I suspect that's what bad childbirth feels like. Not the morphined, third child slipping out like a banana being thrown down an oily well, but the full on cutting and blood and massive heed etc. 

[fatjim]

Gave a guy a dead leg by accidentally kneeing him in the leg playing football. The next day all of him was dead as he had a heart attack. I am now careful my knee doesn't kill anyone else.

[Fridge]

Was he a Hun? Not sure if you are taking the piss here or not but a similar thing did actually happen to a guy I used to work with.

 

Playing ironically touch rugby, can’t remember exactly what happened but I think he got a blood clot in his leg and then it moved and induced a heart attack.

[fatjim]

I dunno what team he supported. here is his obituary. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/357168.stm

[Ke1t]

Gave a guy a dead leg by accidentally kneeing him in the leg playing football. The next day all of him was dead as he had a heart attack. I am now careful my knee doesn't kill anyone else.

 

Similar experience. 

 

Still feel bad about it. 

 

Not kidding. 

[Fridge]

Two murderers on here.

 

Joke obviously must be horrendous.

 

Despite it not being it not in anyway being your fault the pain and shit of their family going through would imagine leaves you guilty as fuck. Horrible.

 

Nae good.

[Fridge]

Are you referring to me SH? Wish I was.

[Fridge]

Two folk have killed someone by accident.

 

Was just making the point that it must be a pretty shit thing to deal with.

 

As you were.

[Ke1t]

Two folk have killed someone by accident.

 

Was just making the point that it must be a pretty shit thing to deal with.

 

As you were.

 

Ach... nvm.

[HairyPie]

I murdered some cunt when I was a teenager. Did 8 years. It's on my CV as being in the navy.

[Ke1t]

I once had a barmaid colleague on my shoulders - running about like a madman (pished)around Rosemount (we were both enjoying it at the time, having a right old laugh)

 

Then I tripped up and pile-drived her into the pavement head first

 

Off her work for a good week (she was an ace ride before that, too)

 

She stopped letting you ride her after you almost killed her?

 

Or she continued to let you ride her, but the brain injuries meant she just kind of laid there while you went about the business? 

[Ke1t]

I was going out with her pal (and our fellow colleague) at that moment and our previous dalliances, which most likely would have been repeated at some point in future, never came to fruition

 

As she died

 

Probably best to not ride her after that anyway, tbf. 

 

@@fatjim

[Fridge]

I see

Nae worries

[Chewie37]

I once squashed in one hand a packet of marshmallows belonging to the wife,because she made me wash the dishes.

  

Surely that should be on the Revenga thread?

[Chewie37]

I once booted an army cadet around for pointing a blank firing pistol at my face.......I forgot my boots were steel toecaps, he was fucked, got chased along Blackdog dunes by his pissed off mates, a few of them had rifles and one had a fucking machete, luckily I was pretty fast so the arseholes didn’t catch me. (Actually made good friends with a load of them a couple of years later)

[Poodler]

Get the IRA on him

[Chewie37]

Get the IRA on him

Can’t.........accidentally made friends with a UDA commander back in 2000. I’ve told that story before

[Ke1t]

I once booted an army cadet around for pointing a blank firing pistol at my face.......I forgot my boots were steel toecaps, he was fucked, got chased along Blackdog dunes by his pissed off mates, a few of them had rifles and one had a fucking machete, luckily I was pretty fast so the arseholes didn’t catch me. (Actually made good friends with a load of them a couple of years later)

 

How do you make friends with a bunch of squaddies?

 

Was it like a massive coincidence that you happened to meet them all individually and they all later turned out to be sudgers? 

 

Or did you approach them and make friends with all of them at once?

 

I've only seen one example of someone doing that... 

 

https://youtu.be/12tce-THLUE

[manboobs109]

I broke a wee cunts fingers that cheated me at pool up in Wick a couple of years ago.

[manboobs109]

Cadets aren't squaddies, they're the BB but in green uniforms.

[Chewie37]

Cadets aren't squaddies, they're the BB but in green uniforms.

Not far wrong, apart from they do actually get some military training with weapons

[Chewie37]

How do you make friends with a bunch of squaddies?

 

Was it like a massive coincidence that you happened to meet them all individually and they all later turned out to be sudgers? 

 

Or did you approach them and make friends with all of them at once?

 

I've only seen one example of someone doing that... 

 

https://youtu.be/12tce-THLUE

Nah they were all about 16/17 I was a year or two above them at school, but had left by then, a couple of years later we all used to hang out at a girls flat I was friends with and one of them had started seeing her. It was basically where we all used to go and get pished and stoned, so everyone made friends

[Don Fonte]

Nah they were all about 16/17 I was a year or two above them at school, but had left by then, a couple of years later we all used to hang out at a girls flat I was friends with and one of them had started seeing her. It was basically where we all used to go and get pished and stoned, so everyone made friends

Shag any of them ya big poof?

[NEM]

Banjo'd a boy for singing Rangers songs at the taxi rank about 15 years ago not realising old bill were across the road.  Turned oot the glass faced poof had a broken jaw.

 

 

Sore one at court that - probabtion, community service and worst of all had to pay the hun bastard compensation

[BWG]

Banjo'd a boy for singing Rangers songs at the taxi rank about 15 years ago not realising old bill were across the road.  Turned oot the glass faced poof had a broken jaw.

 

 

Sore one at court that - probabtion, community service and worst of all had to pay the hun bastard compensation

 

Waste of a good banjo as well.

[Fridge]

Take it you gave him a severe doing? Absolutely correctly.

 

Surprised you got community service for one smack.

 

Did you not claim self defence or some shit? Or just say he was a Hun and deserved it.

[NEM]

Take it you gave him a severe doing? Absolutely correctly.

 

Surprised you got community service for one smack.

 

Did you not claim self defence or some shit? Or just say he was a Hun and deserved it.

 

 

Nah just punched him once, he must have had a weak jaw from sucking off his brothers down the lodge.

 

Ha ha I should have been awarded a medal nae community service