Poems For Players.

[Ke1t]

Write a poem for a Dons player, past or present. 

 

Go on...

 

 

 

 

 

 

[V for Vendetta]

Mines to the manager.

 

Oh! Ill-fated manager of the spidery beard.

I must reveal to you sir, your tactics are not feared.

By telling the world fearlessly and without the least dismay,

That your 7th and 8th central defenders should have given way,

At least many sensible men do say,

Had they been replaced by midfielders and scorers

At least many sensible men do say

For stronger attacks and on the ground we would build

And thus more of our opponents hopes might be killed

[Ke1t]

Mines to the manager.

 

Oh! Ill-fated manager of the spidery beard.

I must reveal to you sir, your tactics are not feared.

By telling the world fearlessly and without the least dismay,

That your 7th and 8th central defenders should have given way,

At least many sensible men do say,

Had they been replaced by midfielders and scorers

At least many sensible men do say

For stronger attacks and on the ground we would build

And thus more of our opponents hopes might be killed

 

+1 for McGonagall reference right away 

 

The bar has been set, sir. 

[Ten Caat]

When hordes o' punters walk doon King Street

And loads o' sheepies start to bleat

As winter days are drawin' late

And shitey form affects the gate

While we sit bousin in the Foundry

Gettin' fu' wi' all and sundry

We think na o' the lang Scots miles

Along Lang Stracht ower slaps and stiles

That lie between us and oor new hame

When the f@ck will be oor first hame game?

"We'll pump the sevco" was Mcinnes' vow

And we unveil oor new signing Alan Gow

This truth did cause a load o' banter

As we tae Westhill toon did canter

Gatherin oorsels in expectation

But 4-5-1 was the fuckin formation

[reekie_dock]

When hordes o' punters walk doon King Street

And loads o' sheepies start to bleat

As winter days are drawin' late

And shitey form affects the gate

While we sit bousin in the Foundry

Gettin' fu' wi' all and sundry

We think na o' the lang Scots miles

Along Lang Stracht ower slaps and stiles

That lie between us and oor new hame

When the f@ck will be oor first hame game?

"We'll pump the sevco" was Mcinnes' vow

And we unveil oor new signing Alan Gow

This truth did cause a load o' banter

As we tae Westhill toon did canter

Gatherin oorsels in expectation

But 4-5-1 was the fuckin formation

-1 for mentioning foundry

 

Serpentry

[SheepieBaaBaa]

Oh Alex Mcleish,

A player of class,

Whether tackling hard or picking a pass

A Gothenburg great, the hero of many,

But you managed the huns, so now you're a fanny.

[SheepieBaaBaa]

Mark Mchee,

A player so clearly,

A hero to those on the Gothenburg ferry.

With clinical finish, a star at the front

We know you're a tim, so now you're a cunt

[TheRock]

A haiku

 

Derek McInnes

Won the cup on penalties

Now six years ago

[V for Vendetta]

Lovely ^

 

Big step up from the usual limericks on here.

[NPRC]

Big Sammy Cosgrove

the Balon D’Or awaits you

in our wildest dreams

[HairyPie]

Big Ashton Taylor,

You know it's a fact,

We're all thinking about,

Your bird's hairy twat.

[Poodler]

The Cappielow incident

GWT's fixident

We're sure GMS was bent

It's time McInnes went

[eeps]

Seagulls dive down low

Spreading fear among Y men

Tightly clutching pies

[HairyPie]

Midfielder Dean Campbell,

Is like a youthful John Noakes,

It's maybe his haircut,

But more likely the smokes.

[Poodler]

Monokana, Logan, Leigh and Ojo

Folly, Nkwlai, Osborne and Zola

Hector, Ifil, Parker, Vyner and Dadi

Djaffo, Aluko, Delomeux and Mike

Blackman

[Guest milne_afc]

Tup, Tup, wherever you may be,

Please come back to chat of afc

And lend your ears

To junkies, hoors and queers

Who struggle with hierarchacal system which has blossomed organically in your absence.

[Poodler]

^hahaha

[Yorston Vasey]

Monokana, Logan, Leigh and Ojo

Folly, Nkwlai, Osborne and Zola

Hector, Ifil, Parker, Vyner and Dadi

Djaffo, Aluko, Delomeux and Mike

Blackman

That's 90% of the eulogy for GWT's funeral.

[V for Vendetta]

Tup, Tup, wherever you may be,

Please come back to chat of afc

And lend your ears

To junkies, hoors and queers

Who struggle with hierarchacal system which has blossomed organically in your absence.

Lovely

[NPRC]

The James Wilson Show

Dad’s clearly delusional

the senile old cunt

[Torry Tosser]

Not last night but the night before.

The Mannie Milne came knocking at my door.

I went doon stairs to let him in,and he smashed me over the heid with a bottle of Gin.

I said in the name of fuck what's your game.

He said that's for slagging off my lover, Derek is his name.

[Poodler]

Don't forget his OG

[Ten Caat]

Miller had a little 'tache

And hair of darkest black

But you canna call it black no more 

So his hair was athlet...ac

[The Boofon]

We all have to give lots of thanks,

For getting the stadium and beating the WANKS,

So raise a glass for Peter Weir, who could land a cross in a mouse’s ear.

[Fridge]

His name was Fernando

Went the way of Jill Dando

He was out of luck

Not one Aberdeen fan gave a fuck

 

There’s a game next week

Where we are not supposed to speak

In a place where we detest

And might face arrest

 

Fuck the Huns.

[Don Fonte]

His name was Fernando

Went the way of Jill Dando

He was out of luck

Not one Aberdeen fan gave a fuck

 

There’s a game next week

Where we are not supposed to speak

In a place where we detest

And might face arrest

 

Fuck the Huns.

I'm drunk but that's glorious.

[Yorston Vasey]

His name was Fernando

Went the way of Jill Dando

He was out of luck

Not one Aberdeen fan gave a fuck

 

There’s a game next week

Where we are not supposed to speak

In a place where we detest

And might face arrest

 

Fuck the Huns.

That deserves to be republished in poetry anthologies from now until the end of time. Absolutely tremendous work.

[Daz the Don]

His name was Fernando

Went the way of Jill Dando

He was out of luck

Not one Aberdeen fan gave a fuck

There’s a game next week

Where we are not supposed to speak

In a place where we detest

And might face arrest

Fuck the Huns.

Yeah, like that

[Fridge]

Tonight against Hearts

We pray Wilson starts

Derek you for fuck sake must know

Time for the James Wilson show

 

@@Dad

[The Boofon]

Davie Robb had a 10 foot knob,

and he showed it to the lady next door,

she thought it was a snake,

and hit it with a rake,

and now it's only 5 feet 4.