How many people will attend your funeral?

[Guest milne_afc]

I'd expect treble figures. If I have notice and have time to make arrangements it'll be invite only and I will buy no more than 20 stamps.

[The Boofon]

I’ll pay for your funeral costs in stamps. Legal tender. Undertaker has to accept them.

[Poodler]

[fatjim]

I'd expect treble figures. If I have notice and have time to make arrangements it'll be invite only and I will buy no more than 20 stamps.

 

3 isn't treble figures mate.

[Guest milne_afc]

3 isn't treble figures mate.

You keep up the doodlin' Jim.

[Fridge]

I’m fully expecting a Princess Diana style procession down Union Street with the pavements packed singing who’s that lying at Pittodrie.

 

Probably about 1.

 

In all serious though I can’t handle them, I go to pretty much every one as I feel obliged, can’t handle the walk past when you see everyone in tears. Find it worse seeing someone else’s grief from the family than what I feel remembering somebody.

[Guest milne_afc]

Good holing opportunities in these situation.

 

Drink/emotions = vulnerabilities

[Poodler]

Wakes are ace.

 

I crashed one once.

 

 

What song would you be carried out ti, Pipes?

[Fridge]

Wakes are ace.

 

I crashed one once.

 

 

What song would you be carried out ti, Pipes?

https://youtu.be/IslF_EyhMzg

[Ke1t]

I'm being cremated, with my final wishes that my ashes be thrown in the face of any Hun who gets into a scoring position against the Dons. 

 

Attendance, 18,365

 

2-0 the Dons. 

[fatjim]

I scored some weed at my dad's funeral.

 

Might make that the title of my fringe show.

[Guest milne_afc]

Jack Daniels if you please by David Allen Coe during the sandwiches.

 

A round of Jack's will be presented.

 

Whisky for Freebird

 

Jagerbomb on arrival for H2H

 

And a glass of moonshine during Dead or alive.

Christ, I'm almost looking forward to the fateful day.

[Poodler]

Can Wardog say a few words at it?

[The Oxford Don]

I'm being cremated, with my final wishes that my ashes be thrown in the face of any Hun who gets into a scoring position against the Dons. 

 

Attendance, 18,365

 

2-0 the Dons. 

 

[The Oxford Don]

Tempted to go the full Catholic* Latin Mass route, in a deliberate attempt to keep numbers down. 

 

*I'm not actually Catholic, so might need to work on the sincerity of my deathbed conversion. 

[The Boofon]

Tempted to go the full Catholic* Latin Mass route, in a deliberate attempt to keep numbers down.

 

*I'm not actually Catholic, so might need to work on the sincerity of my deathbed conversion.

Your young bird won’t be there. She’ll be getting banged at home by one of the Sultans.

[manboobs109]

Your young bird won’t be there. She’ll be getting banged at home by one of the Sultans.

Wrong spy. Wasn't Oxo Don pumping the young bird.

[manboobs109]

The Boof has been talking some right shite today.

[Don Fonte]

@@YorkDon How is she, she left you yet?

[eeps]

Bail conditions I'd say

[Ke1t]

Was @@YorkDon doing the Heffner.

 

Only 1 at my funeral.

 

Torry Tossers Mrs.

 

Saw a German movie once, called Schram or something... starts off with this bird at her boyfriend's funeral. Seemingly she gets lonely, so she digs him up, gets him back to her flat, and then fucks him. Rigor mortis supposedly keeping his cock all hard I imagine. 

 

His cock presumably starts to decompose, so she's getting a bit sexually frustrated, so she hits upon a pretty fucking clever idea to be fair to her. 

 

She cuts off her lad's heid in the bath and sticks his heid in the fridge. She then goes to a nightclub and picks up some guy, takes him back to the apartment, starts fucking him, then half way through the project she murders him. She then cuts off the unlucky punter's heid, runs to the fridge, swaps the heids oot, and continues to fuck what is to all intents and purposes her ex lad, albeit in a horribly decomposing condition. 

 

I forget how it ends, but I think it might involve a rabbit... or that might be some other mad German film... I don't remember.

 

...anyway, is that the kind of situation you were envisioning?

[Poodler]

I'd like Live Forever played at mine

 

 

Makes me think of a real happy time

[Parklife]

I'd like Live Forever played at mine

 

 

Makes me think of a real happy time

I might attend purely for nostalgia purposes.

[Ke1t]

I'd like Live Forever played at mine

 

 

Makes me think of a real happy time

 

Were drugs involved?

[strachanmcgheegoal]

A thought occurs.

 

I wonder how many have written into their wills spreading ashes on specific areas of Pittodrie.

 

That’ll be a bugger post kingsford. Walking into some old biddy’s PFI sheltered hoose and pouring ashes over her linen cupboard or her mans corn flakes whilst sniffing and saying shit like “Aye it’s exactly how he wanted it.“

[ebbe]

Pounding and Scatman on loop, trays of jaegerbombs forcibly thrown in the direction of everyone there including the humanist and undertakers at the expense of a decent coffin. 2 tails of me supergluing a poof to a toilet seat in cheers and me winning numerous folk handsome amounts due to a colossal performance in Elgin. Haven’t decided on narrator yet. Wake held in g casino. All donations to be put on 24. I would expect a gathering of 86ish.

[Simply Red]

Shot out a cannon, full dons kit, suicide vest, into Ibrox home fans.

 

Family & friends to watch live on a big screen in any boozer in Scotland. (Except the Louden)

[fatjim]

Saw a German movie once, called Schram or something... starts off with this bird at her boyfriend's funeral. Seemingly she gets lonely, so she digs him up, gets him back to her flat, and then fucks him. Rigor mortis supposedly keeping his cock all hard I imagine. 

 

His cock presumably starts to decompose, so she's getting a bit sexually frustrated, so she hits upon a pretty fucking clever idea to be fair to her. 

 

She cuts off her lad's heid in the bath and sticks his heid in the fridge. She then goes to a nightclub and picks up some guy, takes him back to the apartment, starts fucking him, then half way through the project she murders him. She then cuts off the unlucky punter's heid, runs to the fridge, swaps the heids oot, and continues to fuck what is to all intents and purposes her ex lad, albeit in a horribly decomposing condition. 

 

I forget how it ends, but I think it might involve a rabbit... or that might be some other mad German film... I don't remember.

 

...anyway, is that the kind of situation you were envisioning?

 

Kinky bitch.

[fatjim]

this is the song I want at my funeral as I am cremated.

 

[tightbreeks]

Family, friends and the Chinese grand masters that tought me the secrets of hokuto shin ken. They will sit at the back and leave straight away.