Pensions

[sooth_stander]

Any experts out there in this field?

 

Need some advice

[Simply Red]

Stick it all on red 7

 

(Britpop survivorz)

[tightbreeks]

With brexit on the horizon, gold.

[Poodler]

Cancel it

 

Spend the excess on the good life

 

The banks will only lose it anyway

[Sonoftherock]

Any experts out there in this field?

 

Need some advice

 

Not sure AFC-Chat was the best place to go for serious advice!!

 

Having said that, PM @@fatjim... I believe he works in that area!

[tightbreeks]

Holiday in columbia, have a look for pablos barrels of dollars round and about what's left of the hacienda. I'm sure there is a spaniel out there that can sniff out dollars, barrels of the stuff. Along with barrels of bodies dissolved in acid. Speaking of acid, that Christmas classic "a is for acid" must be on at some point.

[Fridge]

Any experts out there in this field?

 

Need some advice

What advice are you looking for?

[Poodler]

What advice are you looking for?

 

These are not the advices you're looking for

[Ke1t]

When it comes to your cash I recommend going to the professionals.

 

Like this Sam Cowan fella. 

 

You might, like me, look at Sam and go, "Oocha!" But never judge a book by its cover. By 92% of accounts he's the top dog in Aberdeen, and that would be more than good enough for me. 

 

Best decision I ever made was getting a lad like Sam there involved in my finances, because I'm a fucking idiot with money. A couple of years ago I'd started the process whereby I would own an abandoned mining town in Utah. It was a fucking STEAL.... but the wife stepped in and pointed out that I'm a fucking idiot with money, therefore it made no financial sense to buy an abandoned shanty town deep in the hills of darkest Mormon country.  Our 'Sam' agreed with her.

 

Pair of cunts. 

 

Anyway, my advice to you is this. 

 

If you're looking for pension advice go down to your bank, withdraw the 80 grand in cash, and drive the 1600 miles to Utah with the money in a big hessian sack like they do in the cartoons, sign the paperwork, then drive the last few hundred miles into the desert before calling the wife to tell her you've fucking bought your kingdom and if she wants to talk to you about YOUR fiscal decisions then she's going to have to apply for a permit to enter the town limits of Keltborough in the newly founded Kingdom of Keltland. 

 

Here's the thing, though... you'll never grant her a permit, the bitch. Trying to fuck with my plans to rule supreme. 

 

I can't even remember what the question was. 

[Ke1t]

You on the same stuff as Tightbreeks, Keltoid?

 

I've been drinking a lot of weird shit the last few days. 

 

Now I'm getting ready to drive 400 miles into the snowy wilderness of northern Michigan to prepare for Hogmanay. 

[Fridge]

It’s the same as all investment, stocks, etc depends on how much of a gambler you are, how old you are.

 

Get a portfolio of safe as fuck assets like property, big companies etc that you hope will be a safe bet then gamble a bit on start up companies etc

 

Fuck knows what Brexit will mean but there will be guaranteed a shit load of cash to make and lose on the stock exchange.

 

But take a small relative small punt on that and make sure most of your money is spread over big companies and hope they don’t go tits up due to a sex scandal or some shit.

 

That or fire all your cash on Dad’s football tips and hope you’ve gone the way of Blutz before you need a pension.

[Fridge]

What's that supposed to be, wise?

Well I probably don’t have as much money as you, and certainly do not know what to do with a burnt back.

 

Please give us all your investment knowledge.

[shut up meg]

When I'm not well versed on a subject, I dont offer my views

 

You should follow that mantra too, would mean you're hardly here

 

Let's stick to something you can contribute then, what's the best gun to use in COD?

[Fridge]

What views did I give? Never mentioned any company to invest in. I just stated what every investment / pension / portfolio manager has told me over the years.

 

Diversify your portfolio incase some sector goes all to fuck.

 

And don’t invest in BT.

[Fridge]

Fair enough to millionaires like you and me but was just giving a bit of advice. Apologies for replying to someone.

[sooth_stander]

Hopefully all this has helped the OP of the thread.

Ace.

 

It sure has.

 

With all the various information gratefully received today, I’m putting in for retirement next week on return to work, safe in the knowledge that my pension will keep me in the manner I have become accustomed to

 

Cheers.

[Fridge]

DWQ has by law of averages got to come good at some point.

[Ohjimmyjimmy]

DWQ has by law of averages got to come good at some point.

You would expect so but only if you assumed the picks were random and not just shite picks.

[Cowie]

I've been drinking a lot of weird shit the last few days. 

 

Now I'm getting ready to drive 400 miles into the snowy wilderness of northern Michigan to prepare for Hogmanay.

 

Gaylord state forest area?

[fatjim]

I work in pensions but not qualified to give any advice. Passed my FA2 exam last year though.

 

If I was able to advise I'd probably say put it in an ISA or property.

 

I will probably put my pension into Flexi access drawdown in 7 years when I am eligible to take it. Assuming the legislation doesn't change.

[Arabian Knight]

mare thrillin stuff fae the yaseyil suspects.. thank fuck that politics thred sunk ootae site..sma mercies

[fatjim]

mare thrillin stuff fae the yaseyil suspects.. thank fuck that politics thred sunk ootae site..sma mercies

Are you making a point?

 

Can you try and make sense?

[fatjim]

He finds a few folk dull as fuck is the synopsis.

 

Ah no.

 

not half as boring as him just smashing the keyboard and coming up with garbled nonsense.