Lockdown Skills

[redstrummer]

this thread ?

[BrianFaePerth]

Did a post grad thing a few years back. Top of the class without even trying.

Uni back in the day tho, eh was down with the Africans in terms of grades.

[Jocky Balboa]

3 hours ago, rocket_scientist said:

The thickos love to call themselves "engineer" when they're trained up grease monkeys who sucked cock to get an office job.

The grant system was a false security. First day we got our money through, I burned a fiver in the Aberdeen Students Union at a table with my mates. They thought I was mad, you could have got very pissed on a fiver in 1979. They were probably right because I had no idea why I did it. In hindsight it was a good move. 

It's endemic across the UK and Ireland, where all sorts of handymen and satellite dish fitters are abusing the title of Engineer (we've even got former used car salesmen turned buyers calling themselves "Sales Engineer"!)

 

It is a protected title in many developed countries and rightly so. This gives it parity with Architects, Lawyers, Scientists and even Doctors in the Germanic and Nordic countries. Until we follow suit, the chancers will continue to con the public and bring the profession down.

[dazzy_deff]

1 hour ago, Jocky Balboa said:

It's endemic across the UK and Ireland, where all sorts of handymen and satellite dish fitters are abusing the title of Engineer (we've even got former used car salesmen turned buyers calling themselves "Sales Engineer"!)

 

It is a protected title in many developed countries and rightly so. This gives it parity with Architects, Lawyers, Scientists and even Doctors in the Germanic and Nordic countries. Until we follow suit, the chancers will continue to con the public and bring the profession down.

Contracts engineer is my personal favourite. What the fuck is that?

[manboobs109]

You should all just get proper fucking jobs instead of fucking about in helicopters and on daft scaffolds in the sea

[Henry]

^^^

Pool table and jukebox engineer

Formerly fag machine engineer

[manboobs109]

3 minutes ago, Henry said:

^^^

Pool table and jukebox engineer

Formerly fag machine engineer

I prefer technician

[Reed or deed]

I am currently in training to be a fanny engineer (not a fanny but a studier of the fanny)

[manboobs109]

I've no read the chat above which probably answers this but is there a qualification that means you can call yourself an engineer or is it all just cunts blagging it? 

[The Boofon]

38 minutes ago, manboobs109 said:

I've no read the chat above which probably answers this but is there a qualification that means you can call yourself an engineer or is it all just cunts blagging it? 

Need a degree was what I was always led to believe. 

[manboobs109]

Just now, The Boofon said:

Need a degree was what I was always led to believe. 

Do you get degrees in engineering though? Genuinely no idea. 

[manboobs109]

You're a bum engineer

[dazzy_deff]

5 minutes ago, The Boofon said:

Need a degree was what I was always led to believe. 

Can also be chartered 

[RedArmyFakshun]

I'm blagging it as a "cloud engineer" at the minute

piece o piss, like

[Don Fonte]

1 minute ago, Dad said:

Im a DWT Engineer

Dad Wanking Toddlers?

[Jocky Balboa]

10 minutes ago, The Boofon said:

Need a degree was what I was always led to believe. 

In countries where it's a protected title, you need a minimum of a Bachelor's degree (in the USA and Canada, among others, you also need a license to practice and thus call yourself one. This is prosecutable by law). In the UK and Ireland there are three designations;

- Engineering Technician. A minimum of a time-served 4 year apprenticeship and a few years post-qualification experience.

- Incorporated Engineer (AKA Technologist). A Bachelor's degree and usually minimum 4 years postgraduate experience.

- Chartered Engineer. A Master's degree and usually minimum of 5-7 years postgraduate experience.

This is a good system IMHO as it recognises a myriad of different competencies and disciplines. Where it falls down, is that it's not compulsory to be professionally registered in order to use the title, hence the free for all. You can't call yourself a Doctor, Architect or Lawyer unless you have cleared a professional standard, for which the bar is set high, so Engineers should be no different, if they want to be taken seriously as in most developed (and indeed developing) countries.

[manboobs109]

Technologist sounds like a makey upper. You'd get laughed out my local if you called yourself that. 

[Poodler]

Always found being proud of a good work ethic to be a bit strange.

I hate working, I do as little as possible and save mental and physical energy for being away from work. 
 

fuck knocking your pan in for integrity 

[maryhilldon]

2 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

lazy cunt

'work shy cunt'  according to his neighbour.  

[manboobs109]

18 minutes ago, Poodler said:

Always found being proud of a good work ethic to be a bit strange.

I hate working, I do as little as possible and save mental and physical energy for being away from work. 
 

fuck knocking your pan in for integrity 

Fucking right. Fuck working like a cunt to make other cunts money. 

[manboobs109]

2 hours ago, cheesepipes said:

Most Engineers in large companies (can only comment on Oil companies) are either absolute arseholes or stay at home with mum geeks whos search history would give them 10 years in the can. 

The search history of the beasty Bob is a strange one. At what point do you just put "wee boy's bums" into Google and not have a word with yourself?

[Don Fonte]

33 minutes ago, manboobs109 said:

The search history of the beasty Bob is a strange one. At what point do you just put "wee boy's bums" into Google and not have a word with yourself?

@Dad?

[The Boofon]

3 minutes ago, Dad said:

That you wanting to strike up paedo related convo again Don

 

Think it's best you move on; turning you into a right cunt

Rattled. 

 

Filthy cretin.

[manboobs109]

Dad taking no prisoners. Superb. 

[The Boofon]

39 minutes ago, Dad said:

Always with the rattled pish - I'm just having a convo with my hombre

 

Nowt to do with you you piece of shit cunt

 

Off you pop 

 

Prick

Definitely rattled.

 

 

[Poodler]

Learned a language 

 

 

[Don Fonte]

5 hours ago, Dad said:

That you wanting to strike up paedo related convo again Don

 

Think it's best you move on; turning you into a right cunt

You just concentrate on picking a winner this weekend. Proving a hard task for you.

Prick.

[The Boofon]

41 minutes ago, Poodler said:

Learned a language 

 

 

Catherine Tate Show - Offensive Translator HD 1/5 - YouTube

[Clydeside_Sheep]

20 hours ago, Jocky Balboa said:

- Engineering Technician. A minimum of a time-served 4 year apprenticeship and a few years post-qualification experience.

- Incorporated Engineer (AKA Technologist). A Bachelor's degree and usually minimum 4 years postgraduate experience.

- Chartered Engineer. A Master's degree and usually minimum of 5-7 years postgraduate experience.

This is a good system IMHO as it recognises a myriad of different competencies and disciplines. Where it falls down, is that it's not compulsory to be professionally registered in order to use the title, hence the free for all.

RE: Chartered engineers:  you can still become chartered if your BEng (Hons) was a formally accredited course, prior to the change to requirement for a Masters (whenever that happened).  I am Chartered but have a BEng (Hons), whereas all the newer graduates are MEng.

Its much harder to specify a number of years of experience, given (for my discipline anyway) you need to demonstrate a broad range of ability and experience, which often a single job will not offer.

I agree there needs to be a system to control and regulate the term and grades of Engineer.  In Germany, anyone who is formally an Engineer is highly respected (e.g. on a par with Doctors), but in the UK seemingly anyone can attach "engineer" to the title of their role.

At the same time, I am skeptical of the motives of Universities and Professional Bodies.  E.g. what real industrial / social benefit did mandating an MEng (as opposed to BEng (Hons)) bring?  It would seem the Universities are the big winners, gaining an extra years funding for every successful graduate (as its now a 5 instead of 4 year course).

I have always thought the Professional Bodies are mainly just money making organisations, in cahoots with employers.  They sell the use of titles to engineers (with subscriptions usually paid for by employers) and in return the employers can use chartered status etc of staff as a marketing point.  And don't get me started on these supra-professional body organisations like "the engineering council" etc.

Its hard not to see the influence of money behind all these regulations and rented titles etc.

 

 

 

[Clydeside_Sheep]

On 11/24/2020 at 10:19 AM, dazzy_deff said:

My discipline especially, the best engineers (myself included) dont have degrees.

I think that a blended education is best - I agree that university alone is not the best.

You learn things from practical experience that a classroom format could never replicate.  But you do need some traditional classroom learning.

I look back at my 4 year BEng (Hons) course and I can see that only a minority of the classes have any practical application to my career and the rest of it was just filler material.  You could have made it a 2 year course, quite easily - less, even.