Unfortunate happenings to fellow poster's

[Edwin Starr]

This happened to me yesterday .

Went to the gym in the morning had my phone for music to listen to whilst on the bike .

Decided I wanted a pea went into the toilets there's no urinals just 2 toilets , went in an stumbled only for my phone and cards to fly into the toilet I looked inside only to see toilet paper and poo unflushed. Someone.just done their biz and left it .

 

Had to flush with my phone still on top of everything .

Put my hand in the toilet to grab my phone to get it out ,  put the cover in the bin and wash my phone and cards out and my hands a number of times .

That was one of the.most disgusting things I've ever had to do.

What about you guys on here ?

[Guest Grays Babylon 1875]

FFS.

Watching Sam Smiths new video comes close to that. 

[dave_min]

How many watts were you getting on the bike?

[Edwin Starr]

16 minutes ago, dave_min said:

How many watts were you getting on the bike?

Don't know Dave I put one setting at four and the other at 10 the highest one .

Just listen to Disco music on YouTube and spin my legs at a good rate for 30 mins .

Do you spin the bike ?

[spamspamspam]

23 minutes ago, Grays Babylon 1875 said:

FFS.

Watching Sam Smiths new video comes close to that. 

 

Does the urge to wank confuse you?

[Edwin Starr]

2 minutes ago, Bad_Mobby said:

I wouldn’t know where to start, Ed min 

Lol.

Post away Mobby please do, I won't make fun of you.

[maryhilldon]

1 hour ago, Edwin Starr said:

 

Decided I wanted a pea 

You not a big eater Buc?

[Don Fonte]

1 hour ago, Edwin Starr said:

This happened to me yesterday .

Went to the gym in the morning had my phone for music to listen to whilst on the bike .

Decided I wanted a pea went into the toilets there's no urinals just 2 toilets , went in an stumbled only for my phone and cards to fly into the toilet I looked inside only to see toilet paper and poo unflushed. Someone.just done their biz and left it .

 

Had to flush with my phone still on top of everything .

Put my hand in the toilet to grab my phone to get it out ,  put the cover in the bin and wash my phone and cards out and my hands a number of times .

That was one of the.most disgusting things I've ever had to do.

What about you guys on here ?

Ever shat or pissed yourself min?

[Roberto]

This thread would reach many pages if I was to dig some out so I'll just read, horny.

 

[Dons79]

Was working as a small young lad at taynuilt near kilcreggin in one of the top hotel restaurants, live in position, place was owned by some English art dealer prick and his boy, from Yorkshire, big farm 6.5 fucker, wank of a man, anyway, his bird of 15 year married was from Cornwall, gorgeous she was and was the manager of the restaurant.

Used to finish my long days in the kitchen and give her a hand upstairs just to be a good cunt then retire back to the quarters to write next days menu, bottle of wine and bed.

One night when the Yorkshire lump was away to Yorkshire she invited me to her room for a drink, destroyed her, roll on 6 months of sneaking about wae her, boat,Forrest etc, was great, then one night in my big static caravan I was sleeping, awoke at a sound at the bottom of the bed and seen 2 eyes staring at me, it was the monster lump, her pal had grassed me up to him and he ragdolled me aff every bit of furniture he could find, last thing a remember was the French wine connoisseur charging in while he was choking me,

next morning I woke up to the love of my life at the time getting bundled in the back of a motor and never to be seen again, first love, planned to elope and everything, lasted another 2 weeks and resigned never to see any of them again.

[Don Fonte]

10 minutes ago, Dons79 said:

Was working as a small young lad at taynuilt near kilcreggin in one of the top hotel restaurants, live in position, place was owned by some English art dealer prick and his boy, from Yorkshire, big farm 6.5 fucker, wank of a man, anyway, his bird of 15 year married was from Cornwall, gorgeous she was and was the manager of the restaurant.

Used to finish my long days in the kitchen and give her a hand upstairs just to be a good cunt then retire back to the quarters to write next days menu, bottle of wine and bed.

One night when the Yorkshire lump was away to Yorkshire she invited me to her room for a drink, destroyed her, roll on 6 months of sneaking about wae her, boat,Forrest etc, was great, then one night in my big static caravan I was sleeping, awoke at a sound at the bottom of the bed and seen 2 eyes staring at me, it was the monster lump, her pal had grassed me up to him and he ragdolled me aff every bit of furniture he could find, last thing a remember was the French wine connoisseur charging in while he was choking me,

next morning I woke up to the love of my life at the time getting bundled in the back of a motor and never to be seen again, first love, planned to elope and everything, lasted another 2 weeks and resigned never to see any of them again.

Are you a romantic novel author min?

[maryhilldon]

12 minutes ago, Dons79 said:

 

next morning I woke up to the love of my life at the time getting bundled in the back of a motor and never to be seen again, 

Ended up wearing concrete boots?

[Dons79]

2 minutes ago, Don Fonte said:

Are you a romantic novel author min?

No, always wanted to write a book but more along the lines of utter carnage marauding mad man cutting up folk type novel. No a fan of mills and boon or 50 shades or that shite.

[Edwin Starr]

1 hour ago, maryhilldon said:

You not a big eater Buc?

No Not really MHD.

Only at tea time when I chuck it doon.

But during the day nor much but loads of coffee.

What about you.?

[Poodler]

29 minutes ago, Dons79 said:

Was working as a small young lad at taynuilt near kilcreggin in one of the top hotel restaurants, live in position, place was owned by some English art dealer prick and his boy, from Yorkshire, big farm 6.5 fucker, wank of a man, anyway, his bird of 15 year married was from Cornwall, gorgeous she was and was the manager of the restaurant.

Used to finish my long days in the kitchen and give her a hand upstairs just to be a good cunt then retire back to the quarters to write next days menu, bottle of wine and bed.

One night when the Yorkshire lump was away to Yorkshire she invited me to her room for a drink, destroyed her, roll on 6 months of sneaking about wae her, boat,Forrest etc, was great, then one night in my big static caravan I was sleeping, awoke at a sound at the bottom of the bed and seen 2 eyes staring at me, it was the monster lump, her pal had grassed me up to him and he ragdolled me aff every bit of furniture he could find, last thing a remember was the French wine connoisseur charging in while he was choking me,

next morning I woke up to the love of my life at the time getting bundled in the back of a motor and never to be seen again, first love, planned to elope and everything, lasted another 2 weeks and resigned never to see any of them again.

Can you describe her tits and fanny plz

[Edwin Starr]

30 minutes ago, Dons79 said:

Was working as a small young lad at taynuilt near kilcreggin in one of the top hotel restaurants, live in position, place was owned by some English art dealer prick and his boy, from Yorkshire, big farm 6.5 fucker, wank of a man, anyway, his bird of 15 year married was from Cornwall, gorgeous she was and was the manager of the restaurant.

Used to finish my long days in the kitchen and give her a hand upstairs just to be a good cunt then retire back to the quarters to write next days menu, bottle of wine and bed.

One night when the Yorkshire lump was away to Yorkshire she invited me to her room for a drink, destroyed her, roll on 6 months of sneaking about wae her, boat,Forrest etc, was great, then one night in my big static caravan I was sleeping, awoke at a sound at the bottom of the bed and seen 2 eyes staring at me, it was the monster lump, her pal had grassed me up to him and he ragdolled me aff every bit of furniture he could find, last thing a remember was the French wine connoisseur charging in while he was choking me,

next morning I woke up to the love of my life at the time getting bundled in the back of a motor and never to be seen again, first love, planned to elope and everything, lasted another 2 weeks and resigned never to see any of them again.

Wow.

You did enjoy yourself Dons79.

Do you think he woulda murdered you if it hadn't been for that man charging in?

[Guest Grays Babylon 1875]

42 minutes ago, Dons79 said:

Was working as a small young lad at taynuilt near kilcreggin in one of the top hotel restaurants, live in position, place was owned by some English art dealer prick and his boy, from Yorkshire, big farm 6.5 fucker, wank of a man, anyway, his bird of 15 year married was from Cornwall, gorgeous she was and was the manager of the restaurant.

Used to finish my long days in the kitchen and give her a hand upstairs just to be a good cunt then retire back to the quarters to write next days menu, bottle of wine and bed.

One night when the Yorkshire lump was away to Yorkshire she invited me to her room for a drink, destroyed her, roll on 6 months of sneaking about wae her, boat,Forrest etc, was great, then one night in my big static caravan I was sleeping, awoke at a sound at the bottom of the bed and seen 2 eyes staring at me, it was the monster lump, her pal had grassed me up to him and he ragdolled me aff every bit of furniture he could find, last thing a remember was the French wine connoisseur charging in while he was choking me,

next morning I woke up to the love of my life at the time getting bundled in the back of a motor and never to be seen again, first love, planned to elope and everything, lasted another 2 weeks and resigned never to see any of them again.

She sounds a right classy tert.

Getting diddled from a dude who lives in a caravan.

Believe she ended up mayrit tae @findlay_1903

[Guest findlay_1903]

10 minutes ago, Grays Babylon 1875 said:

She sounds a right classy tert.

Getting diddled from a dude who lives in a caravan.

Believe she ended up mayrit tae @findlay_1903

She was gorgeous (allegedly), no fucking danger it was the dragon. A mix of a toad and a goat. Howfing.

[jamiesd]

2 hours ago, Don Fonte said:

Ever shat or pissed yourself min?

That was the greatest thread on this site. Sorry to see it gone. 

[Don Fonte]

8 minutes ago, jamiesd said:

That was the greatest thread on this site. Sorry to see it gone. 

Hopefully it can be rescued from the basement of the hat.

[Edwin Starr]

2 hours ago, Don Fonte said:

Ever shat or pissed yourself min?

I don't think I have apart from being a bairn in nappies Don.

But the urinating myself probably when I was drunk once and went for a number 1 and pead all over my trousers .

Probably back in the 70s .

But when your drunk you don't care and don't know what you've done till your mates tell you the next day.

[BrianFaePerth]

What is it with you and peas buc?

[Edwin Starr]

16 hours ago, BrianFaePerth said:

What is it with you and peas buc?

I'm having peas tonight with my home made macaroni.

With loads of tomato sauce.

Looking forward to it .

But if your speaking about the number 1 peas I do pea a lot.

Maybe 3 times a night .

 

Do you liked peas Brian.?

[Redforever86]

14 minutes ago, Bad_Mobby said:

You allowed proper cheese, Buc min? 

Scraps it aff his nob.

[Ten Caat]

[Edwin Starr]

32 minutes ago, Bad_Mobby said:

You allowed proper cheese, Buc min? 

No I like Cathedral vegan cheese it's the biz.

Highly recommend it Mobby.

 

https://www.cathedralcity.co.uk/our-cheese/plant-based/

[Edwin Starr]

11 minutes ago, Ten Caat said:

That would make me a fantastic pea soup TC.

[Edwin Starr]

19 minutes ago, Redforever86 said:

Scraps it aff his nob.

Your mental Redforever .😁

[Dons79]

Fromunda cheese

[Edwin Starr]

11 minutes ago, Dons79 said:

Fromunda cheese

Had to look that up Dons79 .

Hadn't a scobby .

https://digitalcultures.net/slang/fromunda-cheese/