Do you think you could do a show at the Fringe?

[Redforever86]

Watching the BBC show and they are all properly shite. What would be your act/routine. 

 

I reckon my breaking my cock during covid and phoning up NHS24 with them thinking I was a deviant would go down easy wi the Edinburgh gypes. 

[BrianFaePerth]

^^cans

[Ke1t]

I mean, with 'art' you can do any old shit and guaranteed some poncey cunt is going to give you a glowing review in their magazine/blog/paper/youtube channel. 

 

 

I could do a two hour set just berating cunts in jeans and trainers and some bam is going to say its an 'Alexandrian stance against the advent of the Conformist Denim Horde', or some such flowery shite, when in fact all I did was get pished ahead of time and yelled abuse at strangers while hanging on to a nearby wall for 120 minutes.  

Technically they'd be right, though. 

 

 

[Poodler]

Could talk for 60 mins on 3 different subjects 

Dylan 

the Ricky Gervais XFM shows 

amusing anecdotes from Aberdeen city centre 2012-2022

pretty niche crowd tbh, probably wouldn’t bother 

[Clydeside_Sheep]

My "Tanks of the Third Reich" lecture was a flop in 2007.

[Don Fonte]

31 minutes ago, Clydeside_Sheep said:

My "Tanks of the Third Reich" lecture was a flop in 2007.

I couldn't think of anyone in the world who would produce a more boring show than you.

[JumboJET]

Yes.

I reckon I could be unfunny on a stage.

[Fridge]

I reckon I could pull off a comedy act, nae material just going round the audience asking what they do and verbally abusing them.

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

If I was to do something, it wouldn't be doing this.....

https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/health/edinburgh-festival-sword-swallower-rushed-to-hospital-as-signature-blade-trick-goes-tragically-wrong-4099441

Anyway, I would be grassed on to the DWP by an anonymous sniffer, a filthy snitch, a noble citizen, or a curtain-twitcher if I performed at the Fringe and consequently have my rock 'n' roll money stopped again. 

[Clydeside_Sheep]

2 hours ago, Don Fonte said:

I couldn't think of anyone in the world who would produce a more boring show than you.

It would be called "The life and times of Don Fonte".

[Bluto10]

guess it’s a comedy then

[Don Fonte]

1 minute ago, Bluto10 said:

guess it’s a comedy then

Aye good one Elton.

[Clydeside_Sheep]

10 minutes ago, Bluto10 said:

guess it’s a comedy then

A tragi-comedy.

[Don Fonte]

13 minutes ago, Clydeside_Sheep said:

A tragi-comedy.

You should do a talk on the sexual preferences of priests and how they aren't paedos.

[Poodler]

23 minutes ago, Don Fonte said:

You should do a talk on the sexual preferences of priests and how they aren't paedos.

Would have a pint with a paedo priest over a rabbi 

 

although I just had multiple pints with Brizo so the bar is low 

[Don Fonte]

1 minute ago, Poodler said:

Would have a pint with a paedo priest over a rabbi 

 

although I just had multiple pints with Brizo so the bar is low 

Any pics of his daughter?

[BrianFaePerth]

1 minute ago, Poodler said:

Would have a pint with a paedo priest over a rabbi 

 

although I just had multiple pints with Brizo so the bar is low 

Would hope you’d put me ahead of a rabbi you bitch

[maryhilldon]

5 hours ago, Don Fonte said:

I couldn't think of anyone in the world who would produce a more boring show than you.

It would be overly long as well.

[Don Fonte]

18 minutes ago, maryhilldon said:

It would be overly long as well.

Cunt would be droning on for fucking ages.

[sigh]

1 minute ago, Don Fonte said:

Cunt would be droning on for fucking ages.

Though the talk was about tanks, no drones?

[Bluto10]

best thing about the festival was the drinking

zero shows

3am pubs & 5am clubs

[Bluto10]

seven years there

never saw anything 

but the drinking was great

[The Buzzard]

39 minutes ago, Bluto10 said:

best thing about the festival was the drinking

zero shows

3am pubs & 5am clubs

You do need to fit in some shows around the drinking. We used to do an afternoon start and go all the way through the night until it was time for the first train home in the morning. Espionage came in handy for its 5am finish then stagger to Waverley. Did that for about 5 days on the bounce and was absolutely burst and skint. Would have been cheaper going abroad for the week. 

[johnstrac]

9 hours ago, Fridge said:

I reckon I could pull off a comedy act, nae material just going round the audience asking what they do and verbally abusing them.

As per