Donnet Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Have always thought the UK terminology of the inside/outside lane is backwards. Link to comment
Betty Swallicks Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 David Beckham has several top end motors and also a few chopshop bobbers. He struck a lovely football. Multi millionaire owns cars. Well I'll be... Link to comment
manboobs109 Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Get the Audi cunt telt Dad Link to comment
Betty Swallicks Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 I like this game. What does the winner get? A years subscription to Steering Wheel Weekly or Hub Cap Monthly or whatever those magazines for mongs are called. Link to comment
mcdougall(4) Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 My mates' wife making it known to anyone that'll listen in person or online that their new Merc is just the 'wee' car. Not driving but being driven is where it's at Link to comment
mcdougall(4) Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Probably traumatised because they were last pick in the playground. Obviously you lads have never seen a football team car park 1 1 Link to comment
scoot Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Anyone who uses the car make or model rather than just saying "the car" is a cunt. Same with mobile phones.... "iphone" Link to comment
Arabian Knight Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 pipe doon mt ffs, cunts gittin carried away agen, pit thon phone doon, awa tae yir scratcher Link to comment
Redforever86 Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 That's a bus Cleary says it's a coach. Fud. Link to comment
Betty Swallicks Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 Haha yea @@Poodler Turning, looking back and just doing that "guy nod" thing, with a slight smirk I bet you've done some "guy nodding" in yer time eh mt. Link to comment
dave_min Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 Whatever happened to falling in love with a nigger with a buspass???????Top posting, can't believe nobody picked up on this gem. Y'all should be ashamed. Link to comment
shut up meg Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 I've always said it MT.I dig the Black Capri.Although a British "classic" it could be done serious justice with a cowboy hat and some python cowboy boots.Cant see the picture however I do like the capri.Maybe to add a bit of class, you can change the horn so when you press it, it plays la cucaracha instead. Link to comment
Betty Swallicks Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 Cant see the picture however I do like the capri.Maybe to add a bit of class, you can change the horn so when you press it, it plays la cucaracha instead. Or the Dukes Of Hazzard (General Lee?) one. YeeeeeHaaaaar! Link to comment
dazzy_deff Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 Bank machines when you select the option cash no receipt, and they then proceed to ask later on, would you like a receipt for this transaction - pisses me off every time. If I wanted a fuckin receipt Id have selected cash with receipt. Link to comment
alscotoz Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Always ask for a receipt when dealing with banks. Thieving cunts. Link to comment
Dal Riata Don Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Tragic. Absolutely tragic There's a boy that works with my pal who we all noise up for his poor selection of wife. This is her third marriage and she's kept the last name of her last husband so she's double barrelled now. She's decimated his finances. Every post on fb she makes goes into our group chat. 750k hooses, plots of land, cheap hooses as restoration projects etc. He had to leave his job for a bigger basic (with no bonus) to keep up with her demands and he hates the new place. Fuck that. And fuck women.See in that situation I make the bloke wrong. The woman here is just behaving as she naturally is - she's not hiding anything. Perhaps she's a cunt but she's an upfront cunt and that, at least, is honest. What is the bloke getting out of having a bird like that? There must be something. Link to comment
Arabian Knight Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 somethimes eh hink men r punch drunk wi the wimmin the git wi. Jamie vardy fir wan, gormless lookin cunt richt enuff but enuff cash tae git an upgrade fae thon chunk eh meat ez ridin n aw the baggage thit comes wi it. everycunt mist ken a cunt like poodler wis oan aboot there, ye wonder wit thi see in the cunt. ehd hae meh pocket pussy ower half the cunts meh neeburs r shacked up wi. thi must hae a special connection or somehin. eh hid that wi wan dame a few year ago, nice as pie, gade laff, whipped the scants aff it n wan pishflap wis hangin doon lower thin the ither. hid eh few mare dates but eh cidna get past thon imperfection eatin awa. ended oan a sour note tae. n mibbe that's doon tae meh expectation. infact it wis. it shows meh how shallow eh wis n lookin fir ither reasons tae justify meh cruelty n it wis meh burden eh shame eh still hink aboot 1 1 Link to comment
Chewie37 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 TheseThese are my pet hate, if not moreSomeone trying way, way too hard Positively bacterialCorrect, it's way past boring Link to comment
mcdougall(4) Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Correct, it's way past boringI put it on block ages ago Makes things easyNever see the strange shite Link to comment
Arabian Knight Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Yup "Pishflaps" HAJAHAHA noye goat pit thru the mincer last week, ye wir brutalized, idiotic cunt. far too early fir u tae be bouncing back aw confident like that, the hells nae ower. n dinna bother cheerleading thon shyte above n below ye ya wee rat lookin cunt, thir verified 100 percent dugshyte, widna even pysh oan thim 4 1 Link to comment
Chewie37 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 Wow @@Millertime ruined by gibberish, bet that’s ruined his weekend....... not 1 1 Link to comment
shut up meg Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 Wow @@Millertime ruined by gibberish, bet that’s ruined his weekend....... not Maybe gibberish, he's got a point though. 2 Link to comment
Ke1t Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 People who put you in a position where you're left with no option but to sound like a cunt. Went to the deli to buy some meat for the smoker. Wanted it in 1/2" thick slices... so I go up to the bird behind the counter. "Can you give me that meat in 1/2" thick slices?" I ask "What do you mean?" she says "Can you slice that meat into 1/2 thick slices?" I ask again "What do you mean by half an inch?" she says. Genuinely had no fucking idea how else to explain what I meant, so I started looking for different ways of saying exactly the same thing... "Sliced pieces... can you do that and make them half as thick as a piece that would be, say, an inch thick?" I said Blank expression "Slices about this thick." I explain again, holding up thumb and forefinger about a half inch apart. "Can you do that?" "Slices?" She enquired, as she stood about 3 feet from the slicing machine. After a couple of minutes of trying to explain, as though to a fucking simpleton, using multiple variations of exactly the same words, I gave up my place and came back when one of the other assistants was free. I was getting bad looks from her, though, as she'd likely heard my conversation of a few minutes earlier and figured I was just being a cunt to her co-worker. I wasn't trying to be a cunt, I was just trying to convey the apparently hugely complicated concept of slicing beef into slices about a half inch thick. "Did I sound like an arsehole?" I asked the wife, looking for confirmation that I hadn't sounded like an arsehole. "Yup" said the fucking wife. 1 Link to comment
maryhilldon Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 People who put you in a position where you're left with no option but to sound like a cunt. Went to the deli to buy some meat for the smoker. Wanted it in 1/2" thick slices... so I go up to the bird behind the counter. "Can you give me that meat in 1/2" thick slices?" I ask "What do you mean?" she says "Can you slice that meat into 1/2 thick slices?" I ask again "What do you mean by half an inch?" she says. Genuinely had no fucking idea how else to explain what I meant, so I started looking for different ways of saying exactly the same thing... "Sliced pieces... can you do that and make them half as thick as a piece that would be, say, an inch thick?" I said Blank expression "Slices about this thick." I explain again, holding up thumb and forefinger about a half inch apart. "Can you do that?" "Slices?" She enquired, as she stood about 3 feet from the slicing machine. After a couple of minutes of trying to explain, as though to a fucking simpleton, using multiple variations of exactly the same words, I gave up my place and came back when one of the other assistants was free. I was getting bad looks from her, though, as she'd likely heard my conversation of a few minutes earlier and figured I was just being a cunt to her co-worker. I wasn't trying to be a cunt, I was just trying to convey the apparently hugely complicated concept of slicing beef into slices about a half inch thick. "Did I sound like an arsehole?" I asked the wife, looking for confirmation that I hadn't sounded like an arsehole. "Yup" said the fucking wife. Should've whipped your pecker out and said 'that thick'. Link to comment
Ke1t Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 Should've whipped your pecker out and said 'that thick'. You think I had a stiffy? Yanks deal in metric Should have asked for the slices to be 1.28 centimetres Yanks deal in Imperial... they fear change. Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 Yanks deal in metric Should have asked for the slices to be 1.28 centimetresCheck you out; you big brainbox.You should've been on the fuckin krypton factor min Link to comment
Chewie37 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Maybe gibberish, he's got a point though.No, no point to his shite Link to comment
Betty Swallicks Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Modern football "ultras". Like that Crystal Palace lot. Ultras?!?! Look like scarfers with dance routines to me. Link to comment
alscotoz Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 People who put you in a position where you're left with no option but to sound like a cunt. Went to the deli to buy some meat for the smoker. Wanted it in 1/2" thick slices... so I go up to the bird behind the counter. "Can you give me that meat in 1/2" thick slices?" I ask "What do you mean?" she says "Can you slice that meat into 1/2 thick slices?" I ask again "What do you mean by half an inch?" she says. Genuinely had no fucking idea how else to explain what I meant, so I started looking for different ways of saying exactly the same thing... "Sliced pieces... can you do that and make them half as thick as a piece that would be, say, an inch thick?" I said Blank expression "Slices about this thick." I explain again, holding up thumb and forefinger about a half inch apart. "Can you do that?" "Slices?" She enquired, as she stood about 3 feet from the slicing machine. After a couple of minutes of trying to explain, as though to a fucking simpleton, using multiple variations of exactly the same words, I gave up my place and came back when one of the other assistants was free. I was getting bad looks from her, though, as she'd likely heard my conversation of a few minutes earlier and figured I was just being a cunt to her co-worker. I wasn't trying to be a cunt, I was just trying to convey the apparently hugely complicated concept of slicing beef into slices about a half inch thick. "Did I sound like an arsehole?" I asked the wife, looking for confirmation that I hadn't sounded like an arsehole. "Yup" said the fucking wife. Don't know how you put up with the cunts...Yanks Link to comment
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