Pet Hates

[Simply Red]

52 minutes ago, Matt Armstrong's Dog said:

Have you ever undertaken a Mensa IQ Test, Mick min?

The 1% Club reminds me of the test.

Ha fuck no. Mensa membership is the hallmark of desperate loner virgins. 

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

7 minutes ago, Simply Red said:

Ha fuck no. Mensa membership is the hallmark of desperate loner virgins. 

😄😄 Funnily enough min, I was a loner virgin when I undertook the test in the mid 90s.😄

 

[sigh]

4 minutes ago, Matt Armstrong's Dog said:

😄😄 Funnily enough min, I was a loner virgin when I undertook the test in the mid 90s.😄

 

Did you get through or did you fail the test?

At least your no a virgin anymore

[DD1903]

43 minutes ago, manboobs109 said:

Haha @Don Fonte

Fuc k off

It’s the only reason I can think of. I remember we couldn’t use ‘idiot’ after Dave min  stole MT’s then catchphrase

27 minutes ago, Matt Armstrong's Dog said:

A bout of Tourettes?🤔

Fucking right 

[Don Fonte]

54 minutes ago, manboobs109 said:

Haha @Don Fonte

Fuc k off

I'm still able to say it.

@Bebohas given me a special exemption.

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

10 minutes ago, sigh said:

Did you get through or did you fail the test?

At least your no a virgin anymore

I ended up with an IQ of 127, and subsequently ended up no longer being a virgin.

What a time to be alive.👍

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

11 minutes ago, DD1903 said:

It’s the only reason I can think of. I remember we couldn’t use ‘idiot’ after Dave min  stole MT’s then catchphrase

Fucking right 

Ok, Pete. As long as you are fighting fit and healthy, your Tourettes shouldn't be an issue min.👍

[Redforever86]

6 minutes ago, Matt Armstrong's Dog said:

I ended up with an IQ of 127, and subsequently ended up no longer being a virgin.

What a time to be alive.👍

Idiot. 

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

11 minutes ago, Redforever86 said:

Idiot. 

Aye OK, Charles Ingram.

[Redforever86]

Just now, Matt Armstrong's Dog said:

Aye OK, Charles Ingram.

Never got the joke. Ok then. 

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

1 minute ago, Redforever86 said:

Never got the joke. Ok then. 

I did get the joke min. My logic, rationality, and powers of deduction are still sharp(ish).

[BrianFaePerth]

37 minutes ago, Don Fonte said:

I'm still able to say it.

@Bebohas given me a special exemption.

Fųck off

[King Street Loon]

People you encounter whilst out walking your dog, who deliberately stop and wait whilst you approach because their untrained dog refuses to move until its gotten on opportunity to sniff my dogs anus and undercarriage, and thus my dog has to reciprocate. 

I then have to engage in small talk about the weather and that its rained so much and how good it is to get some sunshine whilst their untrained dog is now trying to jump all over my dog because it's untrained and my dog is not interested in it.

That's just this morning, but it's a recurring theme.

[Zeus]

2 minutes ago, King Street Loon said:

People you encounter whilst out walking your dog, who deliberately stop and wait whilst you approach because their untrained dog refuses to move until its gotten on opportunity to sniff my dogs anus and undercarriage, and thus my dog has to reciprocate. 

I then have to engage in small talk about the weather and that its rained so much and how good it is to get some sunshine whilst their untrained dog is now trying to jump all over my dog because it's untrained and my dog is not interested in it.

That's just this morning, but it's a recurring theme.

Good shout and I'm no dog owner.

See when your out and about and a dig comes bounding over jumping all over the shop, bairn starts screaming...."oh he's just playing"

Hud on I'll just come running up to you next time I see you jumping in your coupon making noise, see if that's sound with you.  Probably moan about fireworks as well.

Vast majority of dog owners are sound btw, let down by a very small minority of beauts.

[Simply Red]

You boys tried just shagging the dags? “im just being friendly too”

Sends a msg to the owner and dog you aint no joke. 

Next time you see them the dog will be on a lead guaranteed. 

[Zeus]

Probably acceptable in the shire but we're not animals within the city boundaries.

[dave_min]

22 hours ago, Simply Red said:

Ha fuck no. Mensa membership is the hallmark of desperate loner virgins. 

Can you PM me the link you used for yours?

[Simply Red]

17 minutes ago, dave_min said:

Can you PM me the link you used for yours?

Zinger

[Dad]

manboobs is top poster in this thread by quite a bitty

 

Dinnae let it be said he's a moaning cunt but 🤚

[Poodler]

But 🤮🤮🤮

[manboobs109]

10 minutes ago, Dad said:

manboobs is top poster in this thread by quite a bitty

 

Dinnae let it be said he's a moaning cunt but 🤚

Only because Hanz keeched his pants and had all his posts deleted.

[Ando]

Creepy religio Fergals lurking around your driveway after dark depositing their cult mind-control literature under your unsuspecting car windscreen wiper blade. Tantamount to vandalism imo. Enough to make a man "loose" his soul.

[Dad]

1 hour ago, Poodler said:

But 🤮🤮🤮

I'm going to say it more

[madjockmcferson]

My car sucks. Whenever I use the cruise control the fucker beeps when a car gets within a certain distance, the cretinous cunt. Like, the whole point is the car adjusts. I don’t need to know it’s adjusting so shut the fuck up 

[Hoofball]

4 hours ago, Ando said:

Creepy religio Fergals lurking around your driveway after dark depositing their cult mind-control literature under your unsuspecting car windscreen wiper blade. Tantamount to vandalism imo. Enough to make a man "loose" his soul.

Absolutely monstrosity, use a pair of scissors that are at least sharp and cut a straight bloody line. 

[Simply Red]

52 minutes ago, madjockmcferson said:

My car sucks. Whenever I use the cruise control the fucker beeps when a car gets within a certain distance, the cretinous cunt. Like, the whole point is the car adjusts. I don’t need to know it’s adjusting so shut the fuck up 

Humblebrag

@Henry

[madjockmcferson]

30 minutes ago, Simply Red said:

Humblebrag

@Henry

Are things so desperate in the uk that cruise control is considered a luxury?

[Simply Red]

3 minutes ago, madjockmcferson said:

Are things so desperate in the uk that cruise control is considered a luxury?

Yes

[madjockmcferson]

Damn. You don’t have air conditioning or ice from fridges either do you? Man, sad times 

[Simply Red]

4 minutes ago, madjockmcferson said:

Damn. You don’t have air conditioning or ice from fridges either do you? Man, sad times 

Dont need ac mate its baltic.