Afc The Players

[ericblack4boss]

Roy Aitken signed a lot of pish in his time Bernard, Tzvetanov, Nicky f**king Walker for christ sake, but surely signing a 30+ (yeah we all know he was at least 30) defender from Sion takes not just the biscuit, but the whole f**king tin!

 

[The Oxford Don]

Roy Aitken signed a lot of pish in his time Bernard, Tzvetanov, Nicky f**king Walker for christ sake, but surely signing a 30+ (yeah we all know he was at least 30) defender from Sion takes not just the biscuit, but the whole f**king tin!

 

[Dandyjam]

[shudders]

 

I still have nightmares about this clown. Was the main rationale for signing him not that he was (allegedly) Christian Karembeu's cousin? A fine example of everything that was wrong with the club at that time.

 

I remember hearing that as well. Don't know if it was true, bit like his age which I'm sure had a few years shaved off it!

 

Always thought that, despite Kombouare being a disaster in central defence, he looked decent in midfield just in front of the defence on the rare occasions he played there as had a decent long pass on him and liked a tackle but was far too calamitous to be a defender and legs had gone.

 

Did he not appear on some TV show a few years ago or am I thinking of someone else?

[madjockmcferson]

f**king terrible player.

[tommo1903]

did he nae once score v the huns?

[tup]

Was he nae one of these cheating c**ts who faked his birth certificate?

 

I seem to remember hearing the c**t was 48 when he signed, dyed his pubes and a'hing, just to make out he was 35 or something.

 

sh*te player, far too slow, lethal in Championship Manager though but who knows who fed them that line of sh*te.

[Ke1t]

Going to go against the grain a bit here....

 

TK, when he first signed, actually looked okay, if a bit slow. Slow didn't really matter that much, because in the heyday of the Roy Aitken Managerial Apocalypse 'slow' was actually pretty decent. This was because Aitken's 'training' methods were.... well, here's one of the allegations of Roy Aitken's 'training' methods.

 

...in the morning the players would go for a run along the beach front, getting as far as the Inversneckie, where they would load up on their bacon and egg softies. Then it would be a slow walk back to Pittodrie, bellies filled with grease and fat.

 

As for the veracity of this story, watching an Aitken team blow out their arses like whales above the high-tide mark at the beach, it was more believable than not.

 

Anyway.... TK, and you would have to say the guy was mid forties, settled into our team pretty quickly. And he clearly had a footballing brain, if not the physique to compliment it. One of his primary problems was that he was used to playing on the continent, where a defender has time to bring a ball down, look for a player, and start what we would likely recognise as an attack from the back. Given time on the ball TK would find a red shirt and anticipate that red shirt sprinting forward to latch onto the ball, thus turning defence into attack.

 

Unfortunately for TK he had been brought into a league where players have precisely 1/100,0000,0000th of a Femtosecond in which to bring the ball under control and launch it aimlessly up the park with no particular destination in mind.

 

TK would see the ball coming to him, and if he could muster the energy he would intercept the wee fella. He would then look up to pick out a pass and.... the ball was snatched from him by the Scottish equivalent of Speedy Gonzales. If, by some miracle of planetary alignment, he DID get time to pick out a pass, he would punt a perfectly weighted ball forward for our midfield to latch onto, only to watch in horror as the player in question lost out in the race to get the ball, because our players were as fit and capable of running as a member of The League of Fatties from 2000AD.

 

 

15 years earlier he would have been a class apart in the SPL. He had a football brain, tried to play the way he had on the continent, and for sure (initially) looked like he might be a good player when he adapted to the Scottish game.

 

Unfortunately we were playing in a league where if you try anything fancy like... I don't know... playing football properly, you were f**ked before you began. That he was almost to a pensionable age, and was surrounded by team mates who were out of condition and not particularly talented, and led by an untested manager who had all the quality of expired supermarket cheese, he was indicative of where the club was headed... rapidly.

 

So, TK, 15 years previously he would have been an outstanding signing. But that's like saying if he hadnae been sh*te he'd have been brilliant.

 

He was sh*te... but it wasn't entirely his fault.

[madjockmcferson]

I can accept that. I remember him walking the ball out of defence and wondering what on earth he was doing. On reflection the fact I found this odd was a sad indictment of where our game was going.

[boboisared]

I'm sorry Eric but Bernard was far from sh*te, just very unlucky with injuries.

 

We'd have sold him on for profit if he'd stayed fit.

 

In hindsight a pish signing (due to unfortunate circumstances) but not a pish player.

[tup]

I'm sorry Eric but Bernard was far from sh*te, just very unlucky with injuries.

 

We'd have sold him on for profit if he'd stayed fit.

 

In hindsight a pish signing (due to unfortunate circumstances) but not a pish player.

 

Bernard was an excellent player, we never got value for money was the real issue with him.

 

I'll never forget the last time we truly lorded it over the Huns, Jess and Bernard absolutely dominating their midfield at Hampden, culminating in keepie uppies at the corner flag.

 

Good player, just not worth the million pounds (staggering when you consider us now) he cost us in the long run.

[tup]

kombouare scores an absolutely incredible goal against rangers which just showed his class

 

was he honestly 10 years older than was said?

 

Rumoured to have been, never proven, but he certainly looked it and played like it.

[boboisared]

Bernard was an excellent player, we never got value for money was the real issue with him.

 

I'll never forget the last time we truly lorded it over the Huns, Jess and Bernard absolutely dominating their midfield at Hampden, culminating in keepie uppies at the corner flag.

 

Good player, just not worth the million pounds (staggering when you consider us now) he cost us in the long run.

Although I never saw the game myself I remember folk used to talk about the game where Colin Cameron was coming back from injury for Hearts and he was going to run the show against Aberdeen. Bernard was returning from injury too and nothing was said but he dominated Cameron in that game.

 

EDIT: I think we won due to a Dennis Wyness goal!

 

Apparently his old man died not long after he signed for us and that affected him too. Think he lacked a bit of mental toughness.

 

kombouare scores an absolutely incredible goal against rangers which just showed his class

 

was he honestly 10 years older than was said?

Aye, as Tup says that was the rumour.

[barassie_afc]

big kum ba yah.......with a turning circle equivalent to the ark royal

[a don in oz]

The 10 years thing was just nonsense. He's only in his 40s now. The guy was just crap.

 

Yeah he was getting on, and that might (and given his 'pedigree' no doubt was) have been the reason he was crap but lets not try and tart things up. He. Was. Crap.

[tup]

The 10 years thing was just nonsense. He's only in his 40s now. The guy was just crap.

 

Yeah he was getting on, and that might (and given his 'pedigree' no doubt was) have been the reason he was crap but lets not try and tart things up. He. Was. Crap.

 

Yes I'm well aware he's apparently only in his 40's now.

 

Have you considered the possibility of fake documentation, as was rife amongst young African footballers at that time?

 

More importantly does he look like he's in his 40's?

 

I reckon at least 5 years was knocked off his age somewhere along the line.

[ollie1903]

The 10 years thing was just nonsense. He's only in his 40s now. The guy was just crap.

 

Yeah he was getting on, and that might (and given his 'pedigree' no doubt was) have been the reason he was crap but lets not try and tart things up. He. Was. Crap.

Wiki has him as 47. Therefore he was 31 when he signed for us.

 

Not a sna'ba's chance in Hell

[boboisared]

I mind when Taribo West used to get younger.

[tup]

Mind the Saudi Arabian under 16's?

 

Fully grown men, cheating hoors.

[ollie1903]

Mind the Saudi Arabian under 16's?

 

Fully grown men, cheating hoors.

[Betty Swallicks]

Kombouare my Lord Kombouare,

Kombouare my Lord Kombouare,

Kombouare my Lord Kombouare,

Ohhhhh Lord, Kombouare.

 

For this song and the fact he used to try and play fitba our own 6 yarder (something rarely seen in Scotland) I liked him.

[boboisared]

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2010/feb/21/nigerian-football-age-old-problem

[tup]

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2010/feb/21/nigerian-football-age-old-problem

 

Yep, Russians have been at it for years too in the Olympics.

[Betty Swallicks]

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2010/feb/21/nigerian-football-age-old-problem

 

 

Does it work both ways?

 

Reason I ask is I did a Nigerian hooker who claimed she was 17.

[tup]

Does it work both ways?

 

Reason I ask is I did a Nigerian hooker who claimed she was 17.

 

12 at a push I'd guess.

[Betty Swallicks]

12 at a push I'd guess.

 

 

 

Ahhh well.

 

Water under the bridge now.

[tup]

Ahhh well.

 

Water under the bridge now.

 

I imagine the Nigerian registrar of births, deaths and marriages is a somewhat chaotic organisation, so I'm sure you'll be fine on the getting tried over it score.

 

As long as your own conscious is comfortable with the fact you're a beast, what happened in Nigeria can stay in Nigeria as far as the rest of the worlds, and the courts, are concerned.

 

I wouldna lose sleep over it min.

[boboisared]

A few years ago my Nigerian mate told me he was twenty one. As far as I'm aware he's still the same age.

 

Seriously he did tell me as far as he was aware that was his age but it most likely wasn't.

[tainboy]

Similar thing with d'jaffo. I asked delomeaux how old Laurent was really. His response "he thinks he's around 37". His parts say he was 32 when he signed for the dandies.

[ollie1903]

A few years ago my Nigerian mate told me he was twenty one. As far as I'm aware he's still the same age.

 

Seriously he did tell me as far as he was aware that was his age but it most likely wasn't.

You'll be a'right when your shaggin' him then

 

Apart from the obvious risk of disease

[Batting71]

the fact he used to try and play fitba our own 6 yarder (something rarely seen in Scotland) I liked him.

Absolutely. The time at Pittodrie he skinned both Laudrup and Negri in our 18 yard box is imprinted in my mind.

Always managed to find Billy Dodds chest with the ball - no matter where Dodds was hiding on the park.