Injuries Etc

[CrazyBullSheep]

Right, this may not be for the faint hearted but I reckon all you boys n girls can handle it (Maybe MillerTime will scream a bit).

 

Whats the worst injury or painful thing that has happened to you.

 

Me personally, I was bitten by a tiny wee spider on the upper thigh in Angola. Ended up blowing my whole thigh up like a balloon. Once the nurses got hold of me they were having competitions to see how much puss they could extract , all wearing faceshields of course and handing me a spatula to bite down on. Leaving me with a very large hole in my leg.

 

Here's mine

show us yours

 

Cant load photies, can someone help me out

[Terrorfex]

Second-degree burns down my legs, as a result of playing (and beating) Metal Gear Solid while in a caravan in St Andrews and standing up to punch the air in a celebratory "f**k Yeah!", succeeding only in pulling the kettle behind (that'd just clicked off the boil) down on top of me.

 

There's just something nae quite right about liquefied flesh poolin' around your ankles ... 'Ken?

[CrazyBullSheep]

Second-degree burns down my legs, as a result of playing (and beating) Metal Gear Solid while in a caravan in St Andrews and standing up to punch the air in a celebratory "f**k Yeah!", succeeding only in pulling the kettle behind (that'd just clicked off the boil) down on top of me.

 

There's just something nae quite right about liquefied flesh poolin' around your ankles ... 'Ken?

 

 

OOYAH!!!!!

[dazzy_deff]

Falling off a quad in Dubai while going up a sand dune. Quad bike fell on top of me as I fell backwards, and somehow managed to keep my hand on the throttle when it was on top of me. Wheel spun on my leg and ripped all my skin off, right down to the guts of it. was my last day so went home on crutches and went to A & E when i got back. Had to get held down and it scrubbed with a nail brush to remove the sand...AGONY!!

[StandFree1982]

I once stubbed my little toe on a door....f**k me, worst pain EVER!

[Red Dragon]

Sciatica everytime, months of pain and discomfort. Trying to take a dump on the pain killers which constipate you only add to the agony.

 

Either that or standing on an upturned plug.

[InTaeEm]

I'm still to this day yet to break a bone in my body, touch wood! (Yes, i did just touch my desk as i wrote this just incase) but i'd have to say my sorest incident would have to be when i was about 5 or 6 and i was down in Sterling camping with my brother and my dad, I was lying down in the tent (this was a big f**k off tent we had) doing my colouring in book minding my own business and my dad tries to put up a gas lamp and hang it from the middle of the tent when all of a sudden... BUMP! The b*stard dropped the lamp, crack off my heed and all of sudden my colouring book was all red, tears streaming a'way. Straight to hospital and to get my head glued back together...

 

Been quite fortunate with the likes of accidents/injuries to this day.

[InTaeEm]

I once stubbed my little toe on a door....f**k me, worst pain EVER!

 

Has to be up there with a kick to the nadz!

[rossafc92]

About 4 years ago I had a back operation to correct severe scoliosis in my spine. Whilst the resulting pain from that was bad enough, I ended up with a trapped nerve in my shoulder for a few days after it. It's the most painful thing I've ever experienced and hope to ever experience. Felt like someone was boring a hole in my shoulder blade using an electrically charged drill. Absolutely unreal.

 

Also, any knock between the legs is always one of the most painful things to experience.

[Nespa]

I stood on a plug an hour ago......still sore!

[InTaeEm]

I stood on a plug an hour ago......still sore!

 

So can we all agree on top 3 pains:

 

Kick in the nuts

Standing on a plug

Stubbing toe on door

 

No matter what any woman says, above 3 are worse than giving birth.

[tup]

Injuries?

 

Poofs

 

Never been in hospital.

[TheG_L_A]

Probably getting my head stamped on against the cobbles by a group of lads, after delivering a stunning headbutt (one of my finest) to een o' the c**ts.

 

Scouser he was.

 

Heid was split to f**k.

 

Never went to hospital though.

 

That would be gay.

[CrazyBullSheep]

Injuries?

 

Poofs

 

Never been in hospital.

 

C'mon TUP play the game you must have something to tell the boys.

 

Never caught you wee man in your spaver or got your banjo string caught in a girlies front teeth (Worse than kick in nuts, Stub toe and standing on a plug) Surely a man of your worldly experiences has something to share.

[Rossshepherd]

Fell on astro turf.

[TheG_L_A]

C'mon TUP play the game you must have something to tell the boys.

 

Never caught you wee man in your spaver or got your banjo string caught in a girlies front teeth (Worse than kick in nuts, Stub toe and standing on a plug) Surely a man of your worldly experiences has something to share.

 

A snake bit him once.

 

So tup bit it's head off.

 

True story.

[Coopy100]

A snake bit him once.

 

So tup bit it's head off.

 

True story.

I got told it was the snake bit him but tup was so full of venom towards england and modern fitba that the snake got poisoned and died.

[InTaeEm]

I got told it was the snake bit him but tup was so full of venom towards england and modern fitba that the snake got poisoned and died.

 

 

[tup]

C'mon TUP play the game you must have something to tell the boys.

 

Never caught you wee man in your spaver or got your banjo string caught in a girlies front teeth (Worse than kick in nuts, Stub toe and standing on a plug) Surely a man of your worldly experiences has something to share.

 

I have indeed snapped the old banjo, blood everywhere, spurting, but it soon passed, and I walked through it.

 

Got attacked by about 15 lads one night in the middle of Union Street, split my head open, broke my ribs, and covered me head to toe in bruises, as well as threatened to stab me, until some kindly passers by helped me out. Just went home, because I couldna get into any more pubs, as I was in a bloody mess and they, quite understandably, refused me entry.

 

Was a bit tender the next day, and rough as f**k, but I can take injuries standing on my head, pain is merely a psychological hurdle, one I leap effortlessly, and not sore in the slightest.

[King Street Loon]

I've maybe mentioned this before. I think in a thread before the great crash of early 2011.

I'll share again though.

 

Just after I'd sold KSL mansions beside the Pittodrie Bar I'd moved in with folks before I moved out to my new mansion in Westhill.

 

Anyway I'd been on a job on the CP1 in Morcambe Bay and after landing in Blackpool I stopped at their Morrisons and bought a Prawn Sandwich.

I devoured this on the drive back up the road with my workmates Spider.

As we approached New Deer where he lives I was begining to feel ropey. I dropped him at his hoose then got myself home to Blackburn.

When I got there I felt awful and went straight to my bed.

I then woke up at about half 1 with the most painful stomach cramps.

I HAD to get to the toilet as a matter of urgency.

I scarpered to the bog and whipped my boxers down. By this time the pain was unbearable and I imagine childbirth not to be a patch on such pain as I was experiencing.

Anyway what I think happened was that with me pushing so hard to expel this demon inside me and the pain, I started to get dizzy, so I braced myself against the side of the bath. Next thing I know I came too lying on the floor with my boxers round my ankles and a massive pool of blood round me....

I'd blacked out and fallen off of the toilet and smacked the crown of my head off of the edge of my Mums thick glass bathroom scales.

I was still in agony and the cramps were unbelievable.

So all I could do was pull myself back onto the toilet and finish my business. I got a clump off bog roll and put it on my head to stem the bleeding.

Eventually a ginormous jobby followed by skitters was ejected from my body.

Such relief I'd never known. The pain was gone from my bowels only to be replaced by the ache from my head. I cleaned my arse, wc & blood off of the floor, then chapped on my folks door.

They asked what the noise had been and I told them what had happened and also asked if my head looked ok.

My old dear almost fainted. I thought it might be a butterfly strips job, but it was much worse than that. I'd a 6" or so gash on my head.

My Dad took me to A&E to get it looked at.

It was beginning to throb by this point. Ended up getting 13 stitches on the wound and some decent painkillers.

Looked a right mess, like I'd a zipper from front to back on the top of my head.

 

That's probably the worst I've had.

 

Also fell down the steps beside the post office at the St Nicholas Centre and broke my elbow.

Also fell off a wall at primary school and broke my wrist, got a hole in my knee playing football against a Torry team who's name escapes me. Torn a hamstring and done both my knees playing football too.

 

I'm still standing though!

[CrazyBullSheep]

I have indeed snapped the old banjo, blood everywhere, spurting, but it soon passed, and I walked through it.

 

Got attacked by about 15 lads one night in the middle of Union Street, split my head open, broke my ribs, and covered me head to toe in bruises, as well as threatened to stab me, until some kindly passers by helped me out. Just went home, because I couldna get into any more pubs, as I was in a bloody mess and they, quite understandably, refused me entry.

 

Was a bit tender the next day, and rough as f**k, but I can take injuries standing on my head, pain is merely a psychological hurdle, one I leap effortlessly, and not sore in the slightest.

 

TUP I applaud you sir a true scholar and obviously tough as f**k...........

 

Brilliant

[CrazyBullSheep]

I've maybe mentioned this before. I think in a thread before the great crash of early 2011.

I'll share again though.

 

Just after I'd sold KSL mansions beside the Pittodrie Bar I'd moved in with folks before I moved out to my new mansion in Westhill.

 

Anyway I'd been on a job on the CP1 in Morcambe Bay and after landing in Blackpool I stopped at their Morrisons and bought a Prawn Sandwich.

I devoured this on the drive back up the road with my workmates Spider.

As we approached New Deer where he lives I was begining to feel ropey. I dropped him at his hoose then got myself home to Blackburn.

When I got there I felt awful and went straight to my bed.

I then woke up at about half 1 with the most painful stomach cramps.

I HAD to get to the toilet as a matter of urgency.

I scarpered to the bog and whipped my boxers down. By this time the pain was unbearable and I imagine childbirth not to be a patch on such pain as I was experiencing.

Anyway what I think happened was that with me pushing so hard to expel this demon inside me and the pain, I started to get dizzy, so I braced myself against the side of the bath. Next thing I know I came too lying on the floor with my boxers round my ankles and a massive pool of blood round me....I'd blacked out and fallen off of the toilet and smacked the crown of my head off of the edge of my Mums thick glass bathroom scales.

I was still in agony and the cramps were unbelievable.

So all I could do was pull myself back onto the toilet and finish my business. I got a clump off bog roll and put it on my head to stem the bleeding.

Eventually a ginormous jobby followed by skitters was ejected from my body.

Such relief I'd never known. The pain was gone from my bowels only to be replaced by the ache from my head. I cleaned my arse, wc & blood off of the floor, then chapped on my folks door.

They asked what the noise had been and I told them what had happened and also asked if my head looked ok.

My old dear almost fainted. I thought it might be a butterfly strips job, but it was much worse than that. I'd a 6" or so gash on my head.

My Dad took me to A&E to get it looked at.

It was beginning to throb by this point. Ended up getting 13 stitches on the wound and some decent painkillers.

Looked a right mess, like I'd a zipper from front to back on the top of my head.

 

That's probably the worst I've had.

 

Also fell down the steps beside the post office at the St Nicholas Centre and broke my elbow.

Also fell off a wall at primary school and broke my wrist, got a hole in my knee playing football against a Torry team who's name escapes me. Torn a hamstring and done both my knees playing football too.

 

I'm still standing though!

 

 

 

[CrazyBullSheep]

I once stuck up for my mates against 2 pool cue swinging maniacs, the said mates then watched me deliver a superman punch to attract them and then they proceeded to watch as they played baseball with my head.

 

Does this story sound familiar Mr Bullsheep?????

 

Took it like a f**king man so i did.

 

I have no idea what your talking about you crazy cat

[paddy]

Badly sprained my ankle a couple of years ago playing 5's footy. A big ginger c**t twice my height trampled on my ankle while i was turning. Took 2-3 months before I was fully fit again. Many physio visits. The pain was so intense that I now get the fear whenever I play 5's footy. Confidence shot.

 

I reprained the same ankle ealier this year. Not as painful, but still hurted like a bitch. Re-occuring injury that wont likely go away

[redtildead88]

Fractured/dislocated my ankle at goals just before Christmas just past. It was weird as I looked down and my leg was L-shaped but it was not the sort of pain you would expect. Maybe it was the shock or adrenaline but I wasn't screaming in agony and no tears were shed.

 

EDIT - just played my first game of football in 5 months last week, got through it not too badly.

[Coopy100]

What utterly homosexual injuries. Has nobody done anything decent bar KSL. Sprained ankles and a boot in the balls. Wrapped in cotton wool you bunch of fags.

[tup]

Mr brither was in traction with a broken hump for a couple of weeks, couldna pish or wash himself or anything, pathetic

 

He still gets bother with travelling

 

I took it as my opportunity to stub lit fags out on him.

[King Street Loon]

What utterly homosexual injuries. Has nobody done anything decent bar KSL. Sprained ankles and a boot in the balls. Wrapped in cotton wool you bunch of fags.

I feel it's that time for you to share your story again coopy complete with pics

[TheG_L_A]

I once stuck up for my mates against 2 pool cue swinging maniacs, the said mates then watched me deliver a superman punch to attract them and then they proceeded to watch as they played baseball with my head.

 

Does this story sound familiar Mr Bullsheep?????

 

Took it like a f**king man so i did.

 

 

I have a very similar story, a few years ago a heap of us were in the Schooner on a Saturday morning after my mates wedding on the Friday. Ectos were getting bandied about and everybody was f**ked.

 

We moved next door to Clares Bar and there were this 2 big dudes arm wrestling each other, een o my mates knew who they were and advised all of us they should be left alone as they were mental.

 

So me and a mate challenged them to a wrestle, my mate got battered everywhere, I tried to headbutt the biggest een but could barley reach and never connected well, I took one hoor of a beating, which ultimatly ended up on Market St in front of all the traffic.

 

I bumped into a mate a few weeks later who said him and his bird were sitting in traffic on Market St, said I was getting set upon by 2 boys and a lassie, blood everywhere ha ha.

 

Cheesepipes, a few folk you know would've been there, but they were too scared, bloody wimps!! haha

 

I still managed to stay out til the death though.

[E-P-K]

Snapped my banjo string when i was 17, in the back of a VW jetta, while I had white jeans on which were still round my ankles.

 

Messy.