Mackie Plans To Play For Afc Until He's 60

[spamspamspam]

AFC's goal drought hero plans to carry on until he's 60

[ebbe]

he'll probibly be just as much use when he's 60 bri.

[ollie1903]

He's been involved with the first team for 13 years, and scored 65 in total.

 

Sorry Dazzler, but you better start counting the goals against Brechin, 'Vale etc, even your goals in training if you're gonna reach yer target.

[Nealey]

He's been involved with the first team for 13 years, and scored 65 in total.

 

Sorry Dazzler, but you better start counting the goals against Brechin, 'Vale etc, even your goals in training if you're gonna reach yer target.

 

Was it not Romario that did something like that to get to his 1000 goals or whatever big landmark it was? Folk were disagreeing with him as he was saying he'd scored in games that hadn't actually been played.

[MD88]

What an entertaining and original thread

[forbesz1903]

Obviously Darren is going to go no I'll never score 100 goals is he when the reporter asks the question.

 

If he had you'd be slating him for being unambitios so get a life

[The Boofon]

AFC's goal drought hero plans to carry on until he's 60

 

 

:laughing:

 

What a dick.

 

"A staunch Aberdeen fan as well as a player, Mackie knows only 10 strikers – including record scorer Joe Harper – have reached the 100-goal mark since the club’s formation in 1903."

 

Given his favourite book is Lord of the Rings but he hasn't actually read it (copyright Mad) I doubt Mackie knows this information.

 

It's probably rubbish anyway knowing the EE.

[tup]

The question was probably:

 

Q - How long do you think it will take you to reach 100 career goals Darren?

 

A - Probably anither 30 year or so.

[Pash]

Interview probably went something like this;

 

Reporter: "Darren, would you like to reach the 100 goal mark for Aberdeen?"

 

Darren: "Yes"

[The Boofon]

Interview probably went something like this;

 

Reporter: "Darren, would you like to reach the 100 goal mark for Aberdeen?"

 

Darren: "Yes"

 

What sort of journalist would ask a closed question such as that though?

 

Oh aye a sh*te one.

[tup]

Maybe he said he WILL hit 100 goals for Aberdeen before his career ends.

 

The reporter has plently spare time on his hands, seeing as he does next to f**k all for his money, so he has time to do a calculation.

 

Based on the number of goals scored and the length of time he's been playing, plus the indexation of his loss of pace and the effects of the fags on his lungs, making it quite a complex equation, he's gone and worked out this means he will play until 60.

 

MACKIE PLANS TO PLAY UNTIL 60!, says the reporter, who clearly has little else to do, has not been trained properly, and canna write an article for toffee.

 

Who buys this sh*te is the more pertinent question? These imbeciles would be on the dole were it not for you, so bear that in mind next time your hand reaches for an EE.

[Nealey]

I very rarely buy the EE, the odd exception being a Tuesday during the football season purely for the Junior Football section and even half the time I just peruse it while over at my folks. To call it journalism is the overstatement of the, well, century at least!

[K-9]

Maybe he said he WILL hit 100 goals for Aberdeen before his career ends.

 

The reporter has plently spare time on his hands, seeing as he does next to f**k all for his money, so he has time to do a calculation.

 

Based on the number of goals scored and the length of time he's been playing, plus the indexation of his loss of pace and the effects of the fags on his lungs, making it quite a complex equation, he's gone and worked out this means he will play until 60.

 

MACKIE PLANS TO PLAY UNTIL 60!, says the reporter, who clearly has little else to do, has not been trained properly, and canna write an article for toffee.

 

Who buys this sh*te is the more pertinent question? These imbeciles would be on the dole were it not for you, so bear that in mind next time your hand reaches for an EE.

The report has no mention of playing to 60.

[vanderark14]

he will be up to 80 by the end of this season

[tup]

The report has no mention of playing to 60.

 

Artistic licence, I've not read the EE for 10 years at least.

[StandFree1982]

he will be up to 80 by the end of this season

I really hope he is! Would love to see him prove us all wrong by banging in 15-20 goals this season!

[The Boofon]

I really hope he is! Would love to see him prove us all wrong by banging in 15-20 goals this season!

 

 

More chance of fingering the queen.

[Mikeyboy1903]

he will be up to 80 by the end of this season

 

 

For the length of time I've been on this forum and my digust at him being a striker for our beloved club, I actually agree with you for the following reasons :-

 

1. His contract runs out at the end of the season

2. Last chance saloon for him to get a 3-4 year deal

3. Possible injuries will hinder him being bambi

4. Possible injuries will make him not pass, shoot or take a 1st touch ..................... Oh shi*e wait that's happened already.

 

 

FYI :- Charlie Allan wrote that story ..... Next he'll be writing that the moon is colliding with the earth next !

[Nealey]

For the length of time I've been on this forum and my digust at him being a striker for our beloved club, I actually agree with you for the following reasons :-

 

1. His contract runs out at the end of the season

2. Last chance saloon for him to get a 3-4 year deal

3. Possible injuries will hinder him being bambi

4. Possible injuries will make him not pass, shoot or take a 1st touch ..................... Oh shi*e wait that's happened already.

 

 

FYI :- Charlie Allan wrote that story ..... Next he'll be writing that the moon is colliding with the earth next !

 

In typical Fat Postie style - "The Moon today exclusively confirmed that it plans to collide with the Earth"

[360]

I think Mackie will end with 9 goals in all (competitive) competitions this season.

[fine-n-dandy]

For him to reach 100 goals he will have to sign a new extended contract.

 

 

I prey to the football Gods that this does not happen.

 

Darren see out your contract yes by all means & score as many goals as you can for us & you in that time but please please please just walk away once your current contract expires.

 

I couldn't take ANOTHER "star striker Mackie signs new deal with Dons" headline.

 

You've ridden yer luck & had a good run at Scottish top flight, just leave it at that please.

 

Peterheid would love to have you in a couple of seasons & you'd do well there & not even have to move from NE.

[StandFree1982]

More chance of fingering the queen.

oooft.....hold me back

[V for Vendetta]

Hoping we don't give this guy another deal. And I have some faith that Brown and Knox should see his limitations this season and realise its time to let him go as they did with a few others.

[ebbe]

For him to reach 100 goals he will have to sign a new extended contract.

 

 

I prey to the football Gods that this does not happen.

 

Darren see out your contract yes by all means & score as many goals as you can for us & you in that time but please please please just walk away once your current contract expires.

 

I couldn't take ANOTHER "star striker Mackie signs new deal with Dons" headline.

 

You've ridden yer luck & had a good run at Scottish top flight, just leave it at that please.

 

Peterheid would love to have you in a couple of seasons & you'd do well there & not even have to move from NE.

 

 

dandy, he wouldn't get a game at peterhead up top. sad fact. they'd maybe chuck him oot on the right wing, but that would be it. formartine would be his level. staggered the man is still playing for us.

[muttonhumper]

The report has no mention of playing to 60.

I ken. But if the non-playa himself is saying he'll hit 100, then I'd imagine given:

 

How utterly abysmal a finisher he is

How his pace is deteriorating by the minute

How he's nae likely to get any better than the joke footballer he currently is

 

Then 60 is nae a bad estimate.

Though he'll have to be quick as his scoring ratio is going to dwindle in relation to his age, as illustrated.

 

I've nae idea, how auld he is, I'll say about 29.

I've nae idea how many goals he has scored. Is it about 65?

 

None of your "oh actually, he's blah, and has scored blah".

Nae interested. Illustrative purposes only.

 

So.

 

Age 29 (65 goals for AFC)

 

Age 30 - 1 goal, Killie style aff the back o' his heed. (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 31 - Contract not renewed by AFC. (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 32 - On the bench for Formartine. (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 33 - Playing with his pizza delivery works team at goals down Inverdee. (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 34 - Sub for pizza delivery works team at goals down Inverdee. (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 35 - Unable to continue as sub for Snappy United due to fag fatigue. (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 36 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 37 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 38 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 39 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 40 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 41 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 42 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 43 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 44 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 45 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 46 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 47 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 48 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 49 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 50 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 51 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 52 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 53 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 54 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 55 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 56 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 57 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 58 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 59 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

Age 60 - Retired from the game (66 goals for AFC)

 

So I mak' that 34 goals short.

Unlucky Daz.

Sooooooooooo clooooooose as well...

 

Acknowledgements to Kaino for keeping me richt...

 

 

More chance of fingering the queen.

 

[K-9]

I ken. But if the non-playa himself is saying he'll hit 100, then I'd imagine given:

 

How utterly abysmal a finisher he is

How his pace is deteriorating by the minute

How he's nae likely to get any better than the joke footballer he currently is

 

Then 60 is nae a bad estimate.

Though he'll have to be quick as his scoring ratio is going to dwindle in relation to his age, as illustrated.

 

I've nae idea, how auld he is, I'll say about 29.

I've nae idea how many goals he has scored. Is it about 58?

 

None of your "oh actually, he's blah, and has scored blah".

Nae interested. Illustrative purposes only.

 

So.

 

Age 29 (58 goals for AFC)

 

Age 30 - 1 goal, Killie style aff the back o' his heed. (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 31 - Contract not renewed by AFC. (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 32 - On the bench for Formartine. (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 33 - Playing with his pizza delivery works team at goals down Inverdee. (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 34 - Sub for pizza delivery works team at goals down Inverdee. (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 35 - Unable to continue as sub for Snappy United due to fag fatigue. (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 36 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 37 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 38 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 39 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 40 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 41 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 42 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 43 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 44 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 45 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 46 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 47 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 48 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 49 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 50 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 51 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 52 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 53 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 54 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 55 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 56 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 57 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 58 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 59 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

Age 60 - Retired from the game (59 goals for AFC)

 

So I mak' that 31 goals short.

Unlucky Daz.

Sooooooooooo clooooooose as well...

 

 

 

 

 

 

59+31 = 90

 

And he already has 65!!

[muttonhumper]

59+31 = 90

 

And he already has 65!!

Ha ha ha.

Just oot mi bed min.

 

And fit did I tell ye aboot correcting the total goals!

 

Ok. I'll edit. Got fxck all else to dee for the next19 oors til iss chopper comes.

[dj_bollocks]

If he does re-sign, it'll be just like having a new player...

[muttonhumper]

If he does re-sign, it'll be just like having a new player...

 

 

YAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Too excited. Me.

[boboisared]

Quality you humper of Mutton.