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North Sea Oil Spill


Big Man

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Shell are only operating the rig, the field is owned by Exxon (a US comp)

 

Do you think David Cameron will be on the TV tonight blaming the US for this leak, demanding Obama and his missus come over and mop it up themselves and generally blaming everything American for this leak?

 

Mercifully in the UK the all out hysteria which envelops American society has only partially taken hold of our own culture.

 

We are however rapidly moving downstream in the moronic stakes, and sensationalism is on the increase, all we need now is for the National f**king Enquirer to come on the market, 'BOY RAISED BY PACK OF WILD DOGS BEHIND MCDONALDS IN ALTENS!!!!!' that type of thing, banal to the point of insanity.

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I'm a Service Hoor, i just get shouted at, treated poorly and generally get my trousers pulled down in front of everyone so they can laugh at the guy who doesn't have a BP/SHELL/TOTAL, etc boilersuit on.

 

I see no money from such events, i just get shouted at more.

 

I'm a monkey if you will.

 

34hgcnd.jpg

 

That and ye get paid for it. Sounds like your kind of dream job to me

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My experiences of offshore are as follows:

 

The people - Aging, stereotypical offshore types who can't finish a sentence without adding the some variation of "f**k" or "c**t". Shell platforms are full of Geordies. Not a pleasant sound hearing them all bleat on about how much f**king money they are earning and the holidays they are going to take.

 

The Food - I've got to disagree with you Boofon, I've enjoyed the food in every platform i've been on. Some are obviously superior to others, but on the whole it's pretty decent.

 

The rooms - As Boofon described, but the walls are occasionally plastered in pictures of tits n ass. Not altogether unpleasant, but the fact that you are about to share a room with a guy who's been oggling these pictures and has more than likely chugged one out over them on a good few occasions makes you feel sick. The first ever room I went into offshore, I thought "seems alright" then had a look around the cupboards and stumbled upon a HUGE stash of porn! I can't think of much more disgusting things than stumbling upon an offshore mans stash of wank material (and the fact that there is probably substancial amounts of semen lingering between each and every page! I never did see the guy that I shared the room with, thankfully, but I have an idea who it was! This old, beardy, balding (and yet...still long), filthy retch of a man.....makes me cringe.

 

The toilets - clean! Never had an issue with them.

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If its leaking its still pumping and if its still pumping its only losing a little bit of money instead of a lot. Thats my theory anyhoo...

 

The well is closed in and the line (actually a manifold) has been depressurised to reduce the leak as far as possible. There is however a residual amount of oil within the manifold which cannot be stopped without some intervention. However, the Gannet has a very complex subsea infrastructure and as far as I know the source of the leak has yet to be identified.

 

Fortunately the weather has been sh*t and looks like oil released will just disperse.

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My experiences of offshore are as follows:

 

The people - Aging, stereotypical offshore types who can't finish a sentence without adding the some variation of "f**k" or "c**t". Shell platforms are full of Geordies. Not a pleasant sound hearing them all bleat on about how much f**king money they are earning and the holidays they are going to take.

 

The Food - I've got to disagree with you Boofon, I've enjoyed the food in every platform i've been on. Some are obviously superior to others, but on the whole it's pretty decent.

 

The rooms - As Boofon described, but the walls are occasionally plastered in pictures of tits n ass. Not altogether unpleasant, but the fact that you are about to share a room with a guy who's been oggling these pictures and has more than likely chugged one out over them on a good few occasions makes you feel sick. The first ever room I went into offshore, I thought "seems alright" then had a look around the cupboards and stumbled upon a HUGE stash of porn! I can't think of much more disgusting things than stumbling upon an offshore mans stash of wank material (and the fact that there is probably substancial amounts of semen lingering between each and every page! I never did see the guy that I shared the room with, thankfully, but I have an idea who it was! This old, beardy, balding (and yet...still long), filthy retch of a man.....makes me cringe.

 

The toilets - clean! Never had an issue with them.

 

That was an email I posted not my actual experience. :thumbs:

 

Bold text?

 

Lucky you. :thumbs:

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The rooms - As Boofon described, but the walls are occasionally plastered in pictures of tits n ass. Not altogether unpleasant, but the fact that you are about to share a room with a guy who's been oggling these pictures and has more than likely chugged one out over them on a good few occasions makes you feel sick. The first ever room I went into offshore, I thought "seems alright" then had a look around the cupboards and stumbled upon a HUGE stash of porn! I can't think of much more disgusting things than stumbling upon an offshore mans stash of wank material (and the fact that there is probably substancial amounts of semen lingering between each and every page! I never did see the guy that I shared the room with, thankfully, but I have an idea who it was! This old, beardy, balding (and yet...still long), filthy retch of a man.....makes me cringe.

 

 

if you are willing to live that that then i would suspect you have certain 'issues' that need to be addresssed. immediately. :gay:

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if you are willing to live that that then i would suspect you have certain 'issues' that need to be addresssed. immediately. :gay:

nah nah. The longest i've been offshore for is a few days, I only go off once in a blue moon to do some work then i'm back on dry land! I wouldn't want to do the offshore life, some people obviously love it, but I couldn't do it.

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nah nah. The longest i've been offshore for is a few days, I only go off once in a blue moon to do some work then i'm back on dry land! I wouldn't want to do the offshore life, some people obviously love it, but I couldn't do it.

 

 

I hate it and won't go offshore again as long as my arse points south. It's a horrible existence.

 

Give me land work and an offcie with decent air con anyday. f**k working for a living.

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I hate it and won't go offshore again as long as my arse points south. It's a horrible existence.

 

Give me land work and an offcie with decent air con anyday. f**k working for a living.

It's not the best. Thankfully i've moved to another role at my work so shouldn't be doing anymore offshore trips for a while. Only thing i'd miss is the extra money.

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I hate it and won't go offshore again as long as my arse points south. It's a horrible existence.

 

Give me land work and an offcie with decent air con anyday. f**k working for a living.

You were working on the wrong rig if you were working for a living. Or were you a cleaner?

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