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He runs with his head up, and a ramrod straight back, like someone in school would do if you were chasing after them trying to boot them in the arse as hard as you could.


I don't think the programme will cover this, but my personal theory is that this was caused by copious amounts of gay sex in his Madeira homeland, where in reverse Nottingham esque fashion, males outnumber females by 5:1 and the females are honking in any case, as they are flat out making Madeira cakes for old wifies worldwide to consume and have no time for sex.


He is a nightmare for defenders because of this, he could go left, right, or if they get turned, feel their arses, meaning panic sets in the moment he approaches, making him world class, but obviously not in the utterly heterosexual mould of a Best or a Maradona, more Beckham with pace, a poof who would just as comfy mincing down the catwalk to a bit of Right Said Fred as he is terrorising fullbacks worldwide, I'd be fairly apprehensive about facing such a pacy and powerful homosexual myself so I can see where they are coming from.

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physically he is a very powerful 'winger' and apparently is super dedicated, which would explain why he has managed to succeed at three big clubs.


i'd be interested to see how he fares when he loses a bit of pace and perhaps has a serious injury. there's no doubt he is very skilled but i think a lot of his game is about physical attributes. not that theres anything wrong with that, but you do rely on your body more which can let you down.


going back to his dedication. he's a selfish bastard, so its maybe not dedication, its maybe egotistical arrogance?

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he is physically perfect.


his face is maybe only an 8, but his body is an out and out 10 and anyone that says hes not perfect, is just stupidly jealous.


Oh FFS, we're all the fucking same min, each and every one of us crawling this earth's surface, it's your character that defines you, not your fucking sun tan or the amount of chip pan fat on your greasy fucking hair, so this statement is utterly superficial pish, and Ronaldo is a prick.

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that sir, is something un unattractive person would say


even though ive never seen you, youre helping me pain the visualisation more and more each day


Vanity is banal to the point of insanity. If you ever did see me, I'd simply knock you out, poof.


As a wise old mannie once said to me in a bar, and to which I could not stop laughing for a full five minutes:


'As long as my erse is clean, I'm no' worried a fuck about the rest o' it'


Sound advice indeed.

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