Torry's A Mad Place

[Ke1t]

As I sat waiting for the wife to come out of a shop in Torry I watched the local wildlife with a mixture of fascination, horror and disbelief.

 

Four people waked past, accompanied by a total of 5 (FIVE) Pitbulls. Everyone had one, and one chick had two. I'd later discover that everyone in torry has a Pitbull.

 

What surprised me more than that was that of the five Pitbulls they only had 19 legs between them.

 

One of the Pitbulls only had 3 legs. One of them was just completely fucking gone. Presumably the leg had been eaten by another Pitbull, or maybe someone from Torry had attacked the poor animal.

 

Anyway, Threeleg the Pitbull was barking nonstop at some dude across the street, or possibly the dude's Pitbull. Meanwhile Threeleg's owner, a morbidly obese chick in what appeared to be the finest of sweatwear... actually it seemed she was wearing some kind attire that had been fashioned by someone who had no real concept of what clothes are or should look like... they were draped off her massive frame in a fairly haphazard manner, anyway, she's screaming bloody murder at the barking Pitbull... creating a sort of hoppy-screamy-barky-morbidly-obese-dressed-like-a-Jawa-off-Star-Wars effect. So the giant chick is walking Threeleg, which is in turn hopping along and barking furiously at another Pitbull, or the dude who's walking the Pitbull, not sure. It's a pretty surreal experience, anyway.

 

Later we'd see another morbidly obese dude walking along the street in a sort of Stay-Puft-Marshmallow Man gait, while grinning like.. I don't know.. a Pitbull who'd eaten another Pitbull's leg, I guess. He did NOT have a Pitbull, I noted, but was presumably on his way home to feed his Pitbull.

 

We then parked at Mike's Chipper for a taste of his famous chipper stuff, and on the way down the hill passed what looked like an abandoned building. The wall was falling apart, and the.. I'm going to say garden was an overgrown mess of weeds, rubble, and Superlager cans. A torrent of water could be heard cascading out of somewhere, but I couldn't spot the source. The windows were largely broken, and one was held open with a piece of wood.

 

"Jesus" said the wife.

 

The swinging brig, our actual destination, would have been better if we didn't have to dodge dogshit... a seeming growth industry in Torry... and an excursion onto the bank of the Dee was met with more weeds, more Superlager cans and a large amount of broken glass.

 

"What the Hell?" commented the wife.

 

Superlager appears to be the main source of liquid sustenance in Torry, but I can't help but think that people in possession of Pitbulls shouldn't be drinking so much Superlager.

 

More things to note, but for the time being, that was Torry.

[minijc]

That's only a small part of Torry, there are some nice parts to it but most tend not to comment on them.

[tutankamun]

'Torry's a mad place'

 

is this news?

 

Edit: lived there for 6 months as a student, that was enough.

[minijc]

'Torry's a mad place'

 

is this news?

 

Edit: lived there for 6 months as a student, that was enough.

Really? it's not even a bad place, lived here for 20 years, had no real trouble, odd fight and so on but that's it's just natural and would have happened anywhere I lived.

[demo]

one of the best scenes i have seen at 7am going to work two guys walking along the street with a tin of strongbow in one hand and in the other super T just consistently drinking out of each...

[RAZOR]

That's only a small part of Torry, there are some nice parts to it but most tend not to comment on them.

[muttondressedaslamb]

Really? it's not even a bad place, lived here for 20 years, had no real trouble, odd fight and so on but that's it's just natural and would have happened anywhere I lived.

 

You know no better though.

There are better places out there, ones without 3 legged pitbulls and the likes.

[tutankamun]

Really? it's not even a bad place, lived here for 20 years, had no real trouble, odd fight and so on but that's it's just natural and would have happened anywhere I lived.

 

not really, I lived on Walker Road, it was all right. The stink of fish in the morning was minging though, especially with a hangover.

 

Edit: oh, and the wifie who lived above us would get beaten up by her husband every Sunday..... and the girl who lived below us was a nymphomaniac on Prozac .

 

...and the kid across the street had to stay outside all day 'cos his parents were busy drinking vodka in the hoose.

 

other than that, it was quite normal.

[granite sheep]

As I sat waiting for the wife to come out of a shop in Torry I watched the local wildlife with a mixture of fascination, horror and disbelief.

 

Four people waked past, accompanied by a total of 5 (FIVE) Pitbulls. Everyone had one, and one chick had two. I'd later discover that everyone in torry has a Pitbull.

 

What surprised me more than that was that of the five Pitbulls they only had 19 legs between them.

 

One of the Pitbulls only had 3 legs. One of them was just completely fucking gone. Presumably the leg had been eaten by another Pitbull, or maybe someone from Torry had attacked the poor animal.

 

Anyway, Threeleg the Pitbull was barking nonstop at some dude across the street, or possibly the dude's Pitbull. Meanwhile Threeleg's owner, a morbidly obese chick in what appeared to be the finest of sweatwear... actually it seemed she was wearing some kind attire that had been fashioned by someone who had no real concept of what clothes are or should look like... they were draped off her massive frame in a fairly haphazard manner, anyway, she's screaming bloody murder at the barking Pitbull... creating a sort of hoppy-screamy-barky-morbidly-obese-dressed-like-a-Jawa-off-Star-Wars effect. So the giant chick is walking Threeleg, which is in turn hopping along and barking furiously at another Pitbull, or the dude who's walking the Pitbull, not sure. It's a pretty surreal experience, anyway.

 

Later we'd see another morbidly obese dude walking along the street in a sort of Stay-Puft-Marshmallow Man gait, while grinning like.. I don't know.. a Pitbull who'd eaten another Pitbull's leg, I guess. He did NOT have a Pitbull, I noted, but was presumably on his way home to feed his Pitbull.

 

We then parked at Mike's Chipper for a taste of his famous chipper stuff, and on the way down the hill passed what looked like an abandoned building. The wall was falling apart, and the.. I'm going to say garden was an overgrown mess of weeds, rubble, and Superlager cans. A torrent of water could be heard cascading out of somewhere, but I couldn't spot the source. The windows were largely broken, and one was held open with a piece of wood.

 

"Jesus" said the wife.

 

The swinging brig, our actual destination, would have been better if we didn't have to dodge dogshit... a seeming growth industry in Torry... and an excursion onto the bank of the Dee was met with more weeds, more Superlager cans and a large amount of broken glass.

 

"What the Hell?" commented the wife.

 

Superlager appears to be the main source of liquid sustenance in Torry, but I can't help but think that people in possession of Pitbulls shouldn't be drinking so much Superlager.

 

More things to note, but for the time being, that was Torry.

Yeah, Walker Place is a shithole- I've tried to convince folk that it should be twinned with Kabul

[RAZOR]

Nobody wants to live in Torry, its a shithole. So they put all the Polish their. Ive even seen a Polish shop their.

[tutankamun]

Nobody wants to live in Torry, its a shithole. So they put all the Polish their. Ive even seen a Polish shop their.

 

Awful. I hate to be a pedant but I feel compelled....

 

there = in a place

they're = they are

their = belonging to them

 

Anyway, who are 'they' that put the Polish in Torry? It's not the worst place in Aberdeen, Logie would be worse. Why didn't 'they' put them their?

 

... and my god, a Polish shop in Aiberdeen? fucks sake, whatever next? Their'll be Chinese and Indian shops selling they're wares, trying to ram there shitey foreign food down our throats no doubt. Or even worse, them Swedes trying to sell us they're cheap furniture or the Japs flogging there cutting edge electronic gadgets. Bloody foreigners.

[RAZOR]

Awful. I hate to be a pedant but I feel compelled....

 

there = in a place

they're = they are

their = belonging to them

Polish own the shop. Its polish who the houses and shops belong to.

Ill keep you right

[RAZOR]

Their'll be Chinese and Indian shops selling they're wares

 

[tutankamun]

Polish own the shop. Its polish who the houses and shops belong to.

Ill keep you right

 

 

err, no thanks, I'd rather stick to the universally accepted rules of English grammar.

 

did you even go to school? or were you 'home taught' in your caravan?

[fatshaft]

[tutankamun]

 

oh dear. you only spotted one deliberate mistake?

 

... and my god, a Polish shop in Aiberdeen? fucks sake, whatever next? Their'll be Chinese and Indian shops selling they're wares, trying to ram there shitey foreign food down our throats no doubt. Or even worse, them Swedes trying to sell us they're cheap furniture or the Japs flogging there cutting edge electronic gadgets. Bloody foreigners.

 

:idea:

[RAZOR]

 

Err, no thanks, I'd rather stick to the universally accepted rules of English grammar.

 

Did you even go to school? or were you 'home taught' in your caravan?

Oh dear.

 

[RAZOR]

oh dear. you only spotted one deliberate mistake?

 

 

 

:idea:

Quick, i made a fool out of myself. Time to backtrack.

[tup]

I stayed in Torry for a while, it was fine, full of dodgers like, but most of them mind their own business, which is generally drinking, drug-taking and shoplifting so they didna cause me any hassle, some fine bits along the coast up there for taking the mountain bike, and there used to be a cracking ice cream van too that would be mobbed and have bairns hingin off the back of it when the mannie took off and seeing who could hang on the longest, quality entertainment.

[fatshaft]

Quick, i made a fool out of myself. Time to backtrack.

Razor min, it was obvious he put all the "they're/their/there's" in in the wrong places as a dig at your lack of English skills. Dinna dig a bigger hole

[Dandyjam]

Yeah, Walker Place is a shithole- I've tried to convince folk that it should be twinned with Kabul

 

Guy from my work lives in Walker Place - says he's about the only Scottish person in the street, all his neighbours are Polish folk listening to Boney M at 5 in the morning.

[minijc]

You know no better though.

There are better places out there, ones without 3 legged pitbulls and the likes.

I do know better, I like Torry, I don't really want to leave it but if I did I'd move to the middle of town or Cove, so i'm not that far away. thing is those with the dogs are fine if you don't bother them, however some will look to have a pop at you now and then but can cope with that.

 

Nobody wants to live in Torry, its a shithole. So they put all the Polish their. Ive even seen a Polish shop their.

Nah, that's why the amount of people living here has went up soo much, most of the Poles have moved away now aswell, back home too, still two shops down in Torry, couple of hairdressers too and the brothel.

[The Boofon]

Nobody wants to live in Torry, its a shithole. So they put all the Polish their. Ive even seen a Polish shop their.

 

 

For a man who defends the travelling communities so strongly you dinna half come across as intolerant to other groups of people.

[RAZOR]

For a man who defends the travelling communities so strongly you dinna half come across as intolerant to other groups of people.

What does defending someone have to do with Torry being a shithole?

[RAZOR]

 

Nah, that's why the amount of people living here has went up soo much, most of the Poles have moved away now aswell, back home too, still two shops down in Torry, couple of hairdressers too and the brothel.

Piss. How many people young families away to start having children think '' oh Torry thats a lovely area with a nice reputation, lets move there. ''

People are forced upon Torry. Normally people with little or no income coming in are told ''right its Torry or nothing''

[ebbe]

Piss. How many people young families away to start having children think '' oh Torry thats a lovely area with a nice reputation, lets move there. ''

People are forced upon Torry. Normally people with little or no income coming in are told ''right its Torry or nothing''

 

you're being a bit hard on torry min, especially when you are from the dogging capital of the world which also has the highest number of nymphos, car keys and fruit bowls anywhere.

[RAZOR]

you're being a bit hard on torry min, especially when you are from the dogging capital of the world which also has the highest number of nymphos, car keys and fruit bowls anywhere.

Proof? Or is that just something youve heard?

 

Not a council house in sight.

[ebbe]

Proof? Or is that just something youve heard?

 

Not a council house in sight.

 

i'm only jokin min. just remember my old work mate telling me a few stories about his next door neighbours dogging parties. they sounded quite wild.

[RAZOR]

i'm only jokin min. just remember my old work mate telling me a few stories about his next door neighbours dogging parties. they sounded quite wild.

The street Old Mill did have a keys in the fruit bowl reputation back in the 80s.

[minijc]

Piss. How many people young families away to start having children think '' oh Torry thats a lovely area with a nice reputation, lets move there. ''

People are forced upon Torry. Normally people with little or no income coming in are told ''right its Torry or nothing''

Load of shite you are speaking, you actually know nothing and are clearly on the wind up. Plenty of young families moving in this area, know of 10 in the last 6 month or so, plus some other families that are not that young either, some cracking houses too, one that was sold for almost a million about 6 years ago.