Big Man Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Go to the wife's wanker of an uncles 60th birthday party that's full of cunts i do not like and/or have never spoken to, where i will spend all night smiling and nodding politely pretending not to be in a room full of cunts that i do not like or have never spoken to. What a waste of a weekend. Maybe my train will de-rail on the way up, or a storm will take the hotel out... Link to comment
ebbe Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 get back on the drink you boring tart. take up a quarter of biff aswell and get on with it, then once the shite party is finished take your missus up to your room and ride her like a fiat punto. Link to comment
Henry Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Capitalise the words in thread titles. Link to comment
Dynamo Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 "Things You Don't Want To Do, But Have To Do, Because You Know You Can't Not Do Them" One for Big Man - Attempt to become a mod? Link to comment
tup Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Only gays don't know what biff is. You fucking gay! Is it a bird's fanny? Link to comment
tup Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 All this kids street slang shit is way over my head. I call a spade a fucking spade and dinna piss about with what might appease the Groovy Gang. First person to say this word to me in real life is getting their teeth knocked out. Link to comment
tup Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Take the marbles out your mouth and say that then the pair of you, biff FFS give me fucking strength. I'm off to get myself a few grams of 'POW!' later on, followed by an ounce of 'KERPLUNK' to see me through the weekend. Link to comment
tup Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 I'd cross the street to avoid you so there's no chance of me actually saying it. Link to comment
Monkey Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Go to the wife's wanker of an uncles 60th birthday party that's full of cunts i do not like and/or have never spoken to, where i will spend all night smiling and nodding politely pretending not to be in a room full of cunts that i do not like or have never spoken to. What a waste of a weekend. Maybe my train will de-rail on the way up, or a storm will take the hotel out... As someone already suggested, treat it as a weekend away with the wife where there are just odd fellow hotel guests. Best plan is to find a spot by the bar and stay there so everytime someone comes over and you have to speak to them you can at least get a drink off them at the same time and those that are too mean to buy you a drink will be avoiding the bar like the plague anyway so won't come near you in the first place. Link to comment
Henry Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 As someone already suggested, treat it as a weekend away with the wife where there are just odd fellow hotel guests. Best plan is to find a spot by the bar and stay there so everytime someone comes over and you have to speak to them you can at least get a drink off them at the same time and those that are too mean to buy you a drink will be avoiding the bar like the plague anyway so won't come near you in the first place. All very well until Big Man is shitting through the eye of a needle the next morning, having consumed his own weight in orange juice. Such is a life as teetotaller I suppose. Link to comment
tup Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Threaten someone important in the family shortly after arrival, take him/her by the lapels, ultra-aggressive for no reason, whilst your breath reeks of strong drink, after which you'll be ejected and never be invited again. Job done. Link to comment
spamspamspam Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Is it a bird's fanny? no but the actions are kinda similar Link to comment
tup Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 no but the actions are kinda similar You sniff it? Link to comment
dazzy_deff Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Id love to see Tup try to knock someones teeth out. Link to comment
terenceandphilip Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Go to the wife's wanker of an uncles 60th birthday party that's full of cunts i do not like and/or have never spoken to, where i will spend all night smiling and nodding politely pretending not to be in a room full of cunts that i do not like or have never spoken to. What a waste of a weekend. Maybe my train will de-rail on the way up, or a storm will take the hotel out... Don't go. Once you start refusing to do things you don't actually want to do, it becomes quite easy to do. Daunting at the start, but my family and friends are used to it now. Just say NO. Link to comment
tup Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Id love to see Tup try to knock someones teeth out. Just say 'biff' and yours will be going down your throat like a shower of hailstones. Link to comment
dazzy_deff Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Just say 'biff' and yours will be going down your throat like a shower of hailstones.Aright Biff. Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Don't go. Once you start refusing to do things you don't actually want to do, it becomes quite easy to do. Daunting at the start, but my family and friends are used to it now. Just say NO. aye, but is that not just being an obstinate cnut? as for big mans uncle in law. why dont you like him? Link to comment
tup Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 I hate all the members of my family and some of them I want to kill. Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 I hate all the members of my family and some of them I want to kill. is it beacuse they are homophobic? Link to comment
terenceandphilip Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 It's not obstinate, not once you get the hang of it. You just casually say 'no I'm not doing that' like you would ask someone to put the kettle on. Caker min. I once didn't even go to a wedding i was invited to till the evening. Just made up I got called out for work. Link to comment
terenceandphilip Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 this board is funny. I like it. Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 It's not obstinate, not once you get the hang of it. You just casually say 'no I'm not doing that' like you would ask someone to put the kettle on. Caker min. I once didn't even go to a wedding i was invited to till the evening. Just made up I got called out for work. who was it for ? and why didnt you go? if it was for a gay relative, i'd completely agree. but old folk tend to do these things so it doesnt dirupt their menial pointless routine. Link to comment
terenceandphilip Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 I didnt go because there was football on tv then I was playing golf. Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 I didnt go because there was football on tv then I was playing golf. sounds like a sloppy excuse. who's wedding was it? your single arent you t&p? wouldnt you be annoyed if someone did that to you? Link to comment
looksgoodinred Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 It's not obstinate, not once you get the hang of it. You just casually say 'no I'm not doing that' like you would ask someone to put the kettle on. Caker min. I once didn't even go to a wedding i was invited to till the evening. Just made up I got called out for work. but you didn't just say no. you told a porkie! Link to comment
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