Taking A Dump

[Chewie37]

What's everyone's favourite for taking a dump? I used to take a paper and read the sports pages. Smart phones changed that to games on a phone. Right now it's the iPad and typing with it on the edge of the bath.

[reekie_dock]

The material depends on if am treating maself to a special shite or not.

 

Afc chat for the morning shite on ma phone or if the wank chaser is getting bashed oot then the Ipad will be coming in.

[BrianFaePerth]

iPad all the way. The world at your fingertips.

 

That said, eh recently experimented with doing it the old-fashioned way and staring at the wall. It's more efficient.

[DD1903]

I believe it was the modern day philosophers - beavis and butthead - who asked why it's called taking a dump, and not leaving a dump, as when you think about it, you're not taking it anywhere, but leaving it.

 

Wise words

[StandFree1982]

I just took a shit in the disabled at ASDA at the beach.

 

Proper chop suey squirts... left skiddies and it was absolutely humming. As I came out there was some wifey waiting to get in who was in wheel chair.

 

Is it wrong that I don't at all feel bad?

Would you feel bad if you were in a non disabled toilet and someone was waiting?

 

If not, then no.

[BrianFaePerth]

I just took a shit in the disabled at ASDA at the beach.

 

Proper chop suey squirts... left skiddies and it was absolutely humming. As I came out there was some wifey waiting to get in who was in wheel chair.

 

Is it wrong that I don't at all feel bad?

 

Disabled lavvies tend to be bigger, thus the stench will be more dispersed. You were in fact saving some able-bodied soul from a worse experience

[RAZOR]

I could never relieve my bowels in a public restroom. Tinky as fuck

[chief_wiggum]

This reminds me on a thread that I think that was on here, asking your techniques for arse wiping.... ie folder or scruncher. Folding all the way for a clean tea towel holder!

[King Street Loon]

I could never relieve my bowels in a public restroom. Tinky as fuck

What happens if you are doing your park run down at the beach and you need a jobbie and you are conveniently running past the public lavvies at Fittie?

Would you rather soil yourself than use them?

[RAZOR]

What happens if you are doing your park run down at the beach and you need a jobbie and you are conveniently running past the public lavvies at Fittie?

Would you rather soil yourself than use them?

The parkrun doesn't go past the lavvies at Fittie. I've been thankful to never had the urge whilst running however. If such an urge was to arise, I'd hold it in.

[cruzcampo3]

I could never relieve my bowels in a public restroom. Tinky as fuck

Got be home for me home comforts and that.

 

Ipad Is weapon of choice before the legs go numb.

[tightbreeks]

kenneth williams was a scumper. in america they have bog seat shaped tissue in airports and that, so you can scump in one swift motion.

[RAZOR]

That reads a bit camp.

Give me a kiss and I'll tell you if it really is

[dave_min]

The parkrun doesn't go past the lavvies at Fittie. I've been thankful to never had the urge whilst running however. If such an urge was to arise, I'd hold it in.

I took a dump about 20 miles into the FTW marathon. Felt pretty good until my legs started cramping up.

[King Street Loon]

The parkrun doesn't go past the lavvies at Fittie. I've been thankful to never had the urge whilst running however. If such an urge was to arise, I'd hold it in.

What if you did a Robson. What if it was skitters?

[tup]

Folk who are concerned about germs

 

They are fucking everywhere. It would make no difference if we ate each other's shit.

[granite sheep]

What happens if you are doing your park run down at the beach and you need a jobbie and you are conveniently running past the public lavvies at Fittie?

Would you rather soil yourself than use them?

I mind doin the 10k one year and had ran outta water by York St, made a piss stop in said bogs and refilled my water bottle there. Never again. Got home and sharted whilst chilling on the sofa.

[Redstar]

It would make no difference if we ate each other's shit.

Steady on chief...that's Reekie Dock levels of depravity....

[RAZOR]

What if you did a Robson. What if it was skitters?

Robson chose to run off the field. I'd have held it in.

 

I tend not to get diarrhoea. Only ever had it once or twice in my life.

[Clydeside_Sheep]

I just took a shit in the disabled at ASDA at the beach.

 

Proper chop suey squirts... left skiddies and it was absolutely humming. As I came out there was some wifey waiting to get in who was in wheel chair.

 

Is it wrong that I don't at all feel bad?

Are you not concerned that she didn't challenge you as to why you were using the disabled lavvy in the first place?

[Clydeside_Sheep]

I could never relieve my bowels in a public restroom. Tinky as fuck

You are like thon boy "shit break" out of the American Pie series of films

[Clydeside_Sheep]

ate each other's shit.

Mmmm someones been looking at the niche websites!

[Clydeside_Sheep]

There was a sign at the door that said 'not every disability is visible' so I'm putting it down to the fact she presumed I was catholic.

So thats a "no" then?

[dave_min]

Never understood folk that read on the toilet. I'm in and finished in under 2 minutes.

You need a better book.

[RAZOR]

You are like thon boy "shit break" out of the American Pie series of films

I'd watch out then as I'll fuck yer ma.

[reekie_dock]

Steady on chief...that's Reekie Dock levels of depravity....

 

Shite in yer mooooo min

 

Robson chose to run off the field. I'd have held it in.

 

I tend not to get diarrhoea. Only ever had it once or twice in my life.

 

Clearly you've never had a proper dialt shit then

[dave_min]

I'd rather read from the comfort of a chair , not while there is stuff spurting out my ring.

 

I associate books I've read with journeys,holidays, or certain times on my life. For me the concept of associating , for example ,a journalistic account of the falkands war with the sweetcorn content of a particular turd is just uncouth .

You need more fibre in your diet. I recommend kiwi fruit.

[King Street Loon]

Never understood folk that read on the toilet. I'm in and finished in under 2 minutes.

What if you are longer than 2 mins.

Gets a bit boring folding bog roll for 2 mins.

A book or a phone/tablet to surf the net is a must for any toilet visit.

[daytripping]

Went to a bar right across from the Eurotunnel station in Paris, think Gard de Nord, was dying for a shit, had been on beer for a couple days with little food, snaked the door and was faced with a hole in the ground, had rigid tiles either side, had to shit in a downhill skier style pose, was fucking pissed, trying to keep my shirt and jeans out of it, standing like fucking eddie the eagle going down to his jump.

 

This is the fucking 21st century ffs, could forgive having to use an outside toilet on george street in an after rave party in the 90's but this was central fucking Paris in a nice bar.

 

Apart from that using the disabled toilet at Halliburton was tidy, plenty room to spread out the sun and spend half an hour getting paid to shit, t break after then smoke break. Often wonder why I was paid off.

[BrianFaePerth]

A couple of weeks back at Palma airport my youngest decided she needed to pee before the bus trip to oor hotel.

 

Being a doting dad, eh escorted her to the men's bogs and she disappeared in to the trap only to come out running and screaming.

 

Some dirty foreigner had shat all over the pan, down the sides, on the floor and just to top it off, on the wall.