Taking A Dump

[alscotoz]

A couple of weeks back at Palma airport my youngest decided she needed to pee before the bus trip to oor hotel.

 

Being a doting dad, eh escorted her to the men's bogs and she disappeared in to the trap only to come out running and screaming.

 

Some dirty foreigner had shat all over the pan, down the sides, on the floor and just to top it off, on the wall.

 

how do you know he was a foreigner? You do a bit of CSI type stuff?

 

Regardless, dirty cunt.

[BrianFaePerth]

 

how do you know he was a foreigner?

 

Spain is full of foreigners.

[BrianFaePerth]

All the evidence points towards your daughter being the guilty party .

 

The British are never foreigners, the locals are the foreign ones.

[RAZOR]

No matter what level of shit you have the whole episode should be over reasonably quick.

With my worldly travel experience taking in many third world hovels I've shit in some disturbing places with total ease.

Poor Razor would have to hold his shit in for weeks on end.

Estonia, a pub toilet that just had the shitter beside the urinals, no privacy partition.

India, christ, too much to mention. A bucket in a badly constructed shed was one I recall fondly. Inside was crawling with all sorts of beasties.

Malaysia, basically a hole in the ground. Again beasties everywhere.

I think the fact I was full of booze on most of these relief breaks made the situation more bearable.

I've also been to Asia and experienced a hole in the ground for a poop. Doesn't change the fact it's tinky.

 

There is no reason to shit in a pub toilet, that's the height of tinkyness. Someone once shat in the urinals in my local, it was rather funny.

[Robbie Winters]

Once had to take a dump whilst in the glades of the Sierra Nevada's, lovely view of Lake Tahoe.

I'm sure there was a grizzly watching me.

[hopeisimportant]

There is no reason to shit in a pub toilet, that's the height of tinkyness.

 

I'm flabbergasted by this, it's you that won't even have a jobby at work isn't it?

 

Pooping at work is one of the great pleasures of the day. 20mins+ sitting in peaceful solitude with only your own thoughts and a smart phone.

[RAZOR]

I'm flabbergasted by this, it's you that won't even have a jobby at work isn't it?

 

Pooping at work is one of the great pleasures of the day. 20mins+ sitting in peaceful solitude with only your own thoughts and a smart phone.

 

Depends. At my old work the toilets were practically cleaned after everytime you used them (Pipes will agree with the cleanliness of that place) . I could understand the use of them.

 

However, working on a building site for example and using a portaloo - Tinky!

[BrianFaePerth]

 

 

 

Pooping at work is one of the great pleasures of the day. 20mins+ sitting in peaceful solitude with only your own thoughts and a smart phone.

 

No no no.

 

Sitting down on a warm pan with accompanying remnant pube, recently vacated by a colleague (all the worse if you ken who) is just wrong.

 

Then there's the whole finishing and leaving the trap if someone else is in the bogs. Do you go all brazen and proud that it was you that produced the odor, or do you wait until the place is empty and sneak out quickly.

 

None of this is a problem at home.

[Reed or deed]

Pump that slug oot min, it's been up there for days.

[a don in oz]

Squeezing cheese as I type in a bog in Philly airport.

 

It's nice and creamy

 

I've taken a dump in Philadelphia airport too! We're airport shit brothers!

[Chewie37]

I shite like clockwork.

Do the cogs catch on yer hoop?

[spamspamspam]

laptop

game of poker

[Bluto10]

The local s in India just dump on the beach and leave it there; clear as daylight for everyone to see

[elephantstone78]

Turkey, Glastonbury, a temple bar pub on st paddy's day, Egypt and the Irish centre or kazbah centre Gran Canaria. In that order are the worst bogs I have ever experienced. Highlights included several places being infected with cockroaches that crunched underfoot as you entered the pitch black room and the complete absence of what I consider basic features such as a toilet seat, toilet paper, a flush mechanism, soap and/or running water at the sinks.

As we have recently been getting our wee girl toilet trained (not sure if that phrase applies to humans or if it's just dogs but hey ho) she will wander in if I am on the throne and haven't locked the door and will ask if I am doing a poo. If I say yes she says oh well done daddy. Great job. That's a sticker on your chart.

[Reed or deed]

I practice the hover technique. Fuck sitting on some mingin lavvy seat some cunts pished on or that's covered in stinky pubes.

[RAZOR]

Turkey, Glastonbury, a temple bar pub on st paddy's day, Egypt and the Irish centre or kazbah centre Gran Canaria. In that order are the worst bogs I have ever experienced. Highlights included several places being infected with cockroaches that crunched underfoot as you entered the pitch black room and the complete absence of what I consider basic features such as a toilet seat, toilet paper, a flush mechanism, soap and/or running water at the sinks.

As we have recently been getting our wee girl toilet trained (not sure if that phrase applies to humans or if it's just dogs but hey ho) she will wander in if I am on the throne and haven't locked the door and will ask if I am doing a poo. If I say yes she says oh well done daddy. Great job. That's a sticker on your chart.

Omg. Shitting at a music festival is the height of tinkyness.

[reekie_dock]

Omg. Shitting at a music festival is the height of tinkyness.

 

 

Global Gathering prob about 2003 out my Gazebo on the Madman trying to go for a dialt plum in the dark.

 

Folk at festivals are fucking disgusting.

[RAZOR]

What about come on poops @@RAZOR back in the day?

I once had one at Cheeseburgers house probably around 2006. At a property is totally fine and sophisticated. In public is just tinky.

[elephantstone78]

Omg. Shitting at a music festival is the height of tinkyness.

Needs must my friend.

I recall a harrowing incident at titp one year in which a ned took a shit in a plastic bag and just hurled it into a load of tents far enough away to avoid detection. I spent most of the morning spewing my load and quickly realised my days of camping at music festivals were at an end.

[RAZOR]

I couldn't have a shite at a friend or family members house. I'd have to make my excuses and shit in the boot of my car.

 

You've clearly never had a come on shit from ecstasy tablets. Best shit you'll ever have.

[alscotoz]

Same man. I'd have to walk down the street and shit in someones garden or path before I did that. Or in a wheelie bin.

 

If you're just starting dating a lass tae, and you're at hers or she's at yours, or you're at a hotel and you have to pinch a loaf, you pad the water with a healthy cushion of tp for my bunghole to avoid plopping sounds and gently unload (with the taps running and window open), then swiftly flush away before the pungence wafts in to the room. - Always check for Air Freshener and only spray a light amount, otherwise it's obvious you've just given birth to a baby otter and your chances of getting your crevice fingered or licked greatly diminishes

 

I knew a minky cunt once when I was helping a pal doing removals that actaully shat in one of the customers bathrooms. Mortified. Not one fuck given by him. Jambo though, obviously.

 

[alscotoz]

I pity folk with no experience of shit stories in some incredible places.

 

I used portaloo on building site. It was incredible experience.

 

When you have to go you have to go.

 

Curry poops wait for no one... good luck holding that in.

 

[King Street Loon]

When I was in the plumbing game I shat in many a customers toilet.

I always liked to think I was testing it out.

If you've got to go, you've got to go.

[The Boofon]

I shat on a seat in the VIP section of a popular Aberdeen nightspot after being told to leave by the bouncers - then watch someone sit in it

 

It was funny

 

I've also shat on my mates cars' back and front windscreens and in his passenger seat

 

It was a Jaguar.

[alscotoz]

Having what you think is a fart, but then following through is shit.

[alscotoz]

A shart

 

thought it might have been but sounds like a shit turning into a fart.

 

 

could you have a farit?

 

 

Sounds stupid.

[RAZOR]

Anything you'd like to share?

[tommo1903]

I shat on a seat in the VIP section of a popular Aberdeen nightspot after being told to leave by the bouncers - then watch someone sit in it

 

It was funny

 

I've also shat on my mates cars' back and front windscreens and in his passenger seat

 

It was a Jaguar.

Did it have leather seats.

 

And a CD player?

[Chewie37]

Did it have leather seats.

And a CD player?

I hear you can drink cider from a lemon......