an oafs purpose

[Arabian Knight]

fae the gutters eh ellon the cunt wis born n bred
a wance pert hoop ravaged by young mr beggs it wis sed
nae limbs in the loch jist green flash in canal
tae the grey wan north east life wis dull n banal
'eh need tae git oot.. nae lower cin eh sink'
jist wan diy later the cunt turnt tae the drink
ez tastebuds wir ticklet n ez fate wis seald
'ehm ganna be a jakie' but ez auld yins appeald
'nae mare drink son, thats yer lot, sort yersel ir yer oot'
so e punched fuck oot baith thim n jumped oan a boat
'fuck eberdeen meh new life awats me south easty'
e wis a timerous sleekit gap toothed wee beasty
hollands new import wis an oddball wi a thirst
rentin oot ez badge wis the income stream first
but it wis burst
n shellin oot refunds pit paid tae ez purse
oan the banks eh canal thir wis a crew thit wis born
bent auld grey ower a skoda n ez innards wir torn
a renegage squad eh hardened anal abusers
whin yer doon oan yer luck beggars canna b choosers
stoatin beck tae ez digs low is fuck in a trance
cunt felt a rumble in ez bowel n droapped ez guts in ez scants
ez jump intae the canal wis ez first instinct
goat the scants aff climbed tae shore oan goat tae rid eh the stink
'ehv goat skitters in meh soakd scants ehv goat tae chinge me life'
so the grey haird oaf set oot tae find a wife
ootside the hague e loitered lookin foir joab
'eh cin dae n admin n files, ehm jist efter an honest twa boab'
cyril smiths ghost strolls by n sez eh cid yase a man like u
'cyril meh tea towel holders seen better diys n meh rent is due'
'dinna worry boot that greybaws ehv chinged in the afterlife..
..ehl hook ye up wi olga oan reception desk n ye cin hae a wife'
new purpose fir an oaf whin ez daein the ridin
thir wis a feelin in ez bones thit the tide wis tidin
olgas fanny meat wis liket pork loin soaked in brine
soaft oan the helmet n mighty fine
e didna ride fir pleasure e rode tae breed
it wis the jackals oan the glampin site thit taein maist eh ez seed
n whin e goat ez first born ez geard wis up growl
ez early diys eh abuse it the moon the cunt did howl
2019 n cunts still esk meh whaurs thon grey wally
sittin wi a sare erse n the utility rim takin pics eh a metal trolley

[Ohjimmyjimmy]

Scenes

[Guest milne_afc]

Worth the wait.

[Redforever86]

Life will never be the same again.

[Guest milne_afc]

AK, you're not GR, are you?

[Red_Rocket_1983]

[Arabian Knight]

AK, you're not GR, are you?

Guy Ritchie? No

[Bluto10]

nice one min

[The Boofon]

fae the gutters eh ellon the cunt wis born n bred

a wance pert hoop ravaged by young mr beggs it wis sed

nae limbs in the loch jist green flash in canal

tae the grey wan north east life wis dull n banal

'eh need tae git oot.. nae lower cin eh sink'

jist wan diy later the cunt turnt tae the drink

ez tastebuds wir ticklet n ez fate wis seald

'ehm ganna be a jakie' but ez auld yins appeald

'nae mare drink son, thats yer lot, sort yersel ir yer oot'

so e punched fuck oot baith thim n jumped oan a boat

'fuck eberdeen meh new life awats me south easty'

e wis a timerous sleekit gap toothed wee beasty

hollands new import wis an oddball wi a thirst

rentin oot ez badge wis the income stream first

but it wis burst

n shellin oot refunds pit paid tae ez purse

oan the banks eh canal thir wis a crew thit wis born

bent auld grey ower a skoda n ez innards wir torn

a renegage squad eh hardened anal abusers

whin yer doon oan yer luck beggars canna b choosers

stoatin beck tae ez digs low is fuck in a trance

cunt felt a rumble in ez bowel n droapped ez guts in ez scants

ez jump intae the canal wis ez first instinct

goat the scants aff climbed tae shore oan goat tae rid eh the stink

'ehv goat skitters in meh soakd scants ehv goat tae chinge me life'

so the grey haird oaf set oot tae find a wife

ootside the hague e loitered lookin foir joab

'eh cin dae n admin n files, ehm jist efter an honest twa boab'

cyril smiths ghost strolls by n sez eh cid yase a man like u

'cyril meh tea towel holders seen better diys n meh rent is due'

'dinna worry boot that greybaws ehv chinged in the afterlife..

..ehl hook ye up wi olga oan reception desk n ye cin hae a wife'

new purpose fir an oaf whin ez daein the ridin

thir wis a feelin in ez bones thit the tide wis tidin

olgas fanny meat wis liket pork loin soaked in brine

soaft oan the helmet n mighty fine

e didna ride fir pleasure e rode tae breed

it wis the jackals oan the glampin site thit taein maist eh ez seed

n whin e goat ez first born ez geard wis up growl

ez early diys eh abuse it the moon the cunt did howl

2019 n cunts still esk meh whaurs thon grey wally

sittin wi a sare erse n the utility rim takin pics eh a metal trolley

Lovely.

[Arabian Knight]

^ next time eh esk ye whaur the name bluto comes fae gie a straight anser

[Reed or deed]

nice one min

Lol. Lost for words.

[The Boofon]

^ next time eh esk ye whaur the name bluto comes fae gie a straight anser

Oocha. Canna wait for BO Brian’s verses.

[Bluto10]

Lol. Lost for words.

not really.

 

I didn’t read it.

[Don Fonte]

Wonderful stuff.

[King Street Loon]

Pulitzer prize winning prose there from Arabian Knight.

[maryhilldon]

[manboobs109]

Last line makes it imo

[Redmist1903]

Magnificent 

[ddia]

Absolutely fantastic.

[For Fecks Sake]

I have a tear in my eye reading that.

 

AK got the new poet laureate

[Don Fonte]

The last two lines are majestic.

[Ohjimmyjimmy]

#THEODETOACHOADE

[BrianFaePerth]

Once he gets over the shame of being caught in a big lie.

[Bluto10]

or the embarrassment of spending all his time writing that thing for a loser like me

[BrianFaePerth]

or the embarrassment of spending all his time writing that thing for a loser like me

he must have gone through boxes of Kleenex in the process

[manboobs109]

He must know you from old Bluts. As boring and repetitive as you are you don't inspire as much contempt from anyone else. Do you have any brothers?

[Bluto10]

^^^ aye ok mr exciting

[manboobs109]

^^^ aye ok mr exciting

I excite a person a week

 

Cool beers

[BrianFaePerth]

Go on then mantits - excite me.

Do you still fit in your old school uniform manboobs?

[Arabian Knight]

comin soon 'a skunks odour'.. a sickenin tale eh a spineless coward born fae the mire eh anal abuse..fae ez humble begginins oan the banks eh the tay.. tae the truth behind THAT midnicht flit tae git is far awa fae ez demons is e cid..suffering domestic beatins aff ez wifes droopin flaps..jist whin ye thot the henpeckd shytehawk hid been gaped tae the max.. a skunks odour will stretch oot ez prolapsed anus jist a few mare inch in diameter, enuf tae fit blutos noggin up