Your favourite hotel stories

[Poodler]

Youthful folly and hijinx always occur during a hotel stay.

 

 

What bloody mental stories do you have?

 

Sex drugs n RnR only plz

[StandFree1982]

Nothing too rock and roll, but it was hilarious at the time. 

 

Had a mate who couldn't find the toilet in a hostel abroad, ended up outside of the room and the door locked behind him. We woke in the morning to him banging on the door. I opened the door to find the boy standing in just his boxers after having slept in the stairwell all evening. 

[YorkDon]

Stag do in Nottingham about 12 years ago.

Pulled a bird and took her back to the room I was sharing with my mate.

He tried to get a 3 way on the go,she wasn’t arsed so he went to sleep pissed.

I did her porn style in the mirror over the desk,bed etc whilst he slept.

In the morning she sucked me off then disappeared into the bathroom and returned having used his toothbrush.

I’m nae a total cunt so I told him.

Cue 15 blokes pissing themselves laughing while others looked non plussed at the mention of a toothbrush in the best man’s speech.

Unwittingly left a brand new pair of shoes in the hotel room.

[HairyPie]

Stag do in Nottingham about 12 years ago.

Pulled a bird and took her back to the room I was sharing with my mate.

He tried to get a 3 way on the go,she wasn’t arsed so he went to sleep pissed.

I did her porn style in the mirror over the desk,bed etc whilst he slept.

In the morning she sucked me off then disappeared into the bathroom and returned having used his toothbrush.

I’m nae a total cunt so I told him.

Cue 15 blokes pissing themselves laughing while others looked non plussed at the mention of a toothbrush in the best man’s speech.

Unwittingly left a brand new pair of shoes in the hotel room.

What type of toothbrush?

[Guest milne_afc]

What type of toothbrush?

Young and flexible, I'd imagine.

 

With great(gr8) nipples

[YorkDon]

What type of toothbrush?

Quite possibly a York City one!

[Redforever86]

Smashed a mirror aged 18 after a shite green day gig in Glasgow. Kicked a chair into it. Nae sure if I meant it was pished as fuck. 

 

My mate ko'ing with his trousers round his ankles half in and half out a lift in Frankfurt was a decent laugh. 

 

 

 

Worst hotel story, paid £270 (as a skint student) for a hotel after pulling a bird in London and not being able to take her back to my mates miles away. Never even got it up. 

[The Boofon]

Naked sleepwalking in Olomouc wishing a couple a good morning in the lift at 6am standing bollock naked demanding a towel and my room number.

 

Allegedly shitting under a pool table, passing out with my suit trousers round my ankles, puking up in a bucket at the main door in front of one of the Saturdays then waking up next morning in bed in my pals room with a bird Id never met.

 

Getting woken up by Reekie and another pal in a hotel in Inverness, finding out i’d Grand Slammed (pissed myself, shat on the floor and spewed my ringer). Then found the missing gram of cocaine I thought my pal had stolen in my spare shoes. A happy ending.

 

Reekies stagger last October too ridiculous a story to tell. @@ebbe

[Poodler]

Travelodge Hill Street looks onto a block of apartments which is a complete glass facade

 

Celebrated like the dons winning the league when we were gathered in a room watching a bird undress a few years ago

 

She knew we were all watching aswell. Her man was in the living room oblivious to the show going on in the next room

[Bluto10]

there’s been a few

 

big tear up in berlin and I ended up back an hour before

room service: bottle of champagne for one please.

 

that’s finished off and crew arrive back as I’ve subsequently polished off the mini bar wines

 

then we raided the housekeeping’s load of mini bar wines and carried on for hours

 

wasn’t bad; just ruddy good fun

[Bluto10]

Tame

you didn’t see how much wine we(I)consumed

 

dinna be givin it billy big bollocks; I was gettin kudos few mins ago for my beer drinking of chouffe quote unquote world record

from the owner

 

[Poodler]

Tell the Lithuania one mobaldinhozoid

[Bluto10]

You’re a flippin’ chouffe

[Fridge]

I went into the wrong hotel after @cans in Barcelona. I was a semi regular there with work so they knew who I was. Woke in the morning had absolutely fuck all idea where I was, no suitcase or clothes and needed to get to the airport.

 

Went down to reception ashamed in a pair of sunglasses and shirts thoroughly ashamed, had to be put to my bed apparantely but they didn’t charge me. Fair play.

 

Had to them get a taxi to my actual hotel and pick up all my stuff then get out to the airport.

 

Bought the lassie bottle off Prosecco the next week as a thank you. Zero shag. Must have been in some state.

[Simply Red]

Been woken up in a Congolese hotel room by a large sergeant mentalist pointing his machine gun at me and shouting angry shit at me in french. Its a long story. Justice won thru in the end and my tea towel holder remained intact. Ive no doubt the hooker got the karma she deserved, not least the aids i gave her.

Banned from the Jurys Inn and Eurohostel in Glasgow indefinitely. Obvs just book in with someone elses bank card now like Carlos the Jackal.

[Fridge]

Think the machine gun story needs explained further.

 

At least Boof made national news.

[ebbe]

Naked sleepwalking in Olomouc wishing a couple a good morning in the lift at 6am standing bollock naked demanding a towel and my room number.

Allegedly shitting under a pool table, passing out with my suit trousers round my ankles, puking up in a bucket at the main door in front of one of the Saturdays then waking up next morning in bed in my pals room with a bird Id never met.

Getting woken up by Reekie and another pal in a hotel in Inverness, finding out i’d Grand Slammed (pissed myself, shat on the floor and spewed my ringer). Then found the missing gram of cocaine I thought my pal had stolen in my spare shoes. A happy ending.

Reekies stagger last October too ridiculous a story to tell. @@ebbe

Landlord was a cunt. Ended up being good value for money considering how much time we spent there.

[BWG]

I like the one where mcinnes gets murdered in his hotel room in Florida by a roaming gang of alligators.

[Guest milne_afc]

 

Have you got your big plate ?

@@Bluto10[/quote

 

I think there’s been a rape up there

 

There is no quote machine in this hotel

[1903Fitba]

Clipped by a hostel security guard in Berlin for constantly asking him about his steroid use/translations for various drugs in German. Not long after ended up passed out/pulled a whitey on the street after asking a French girl for a fag only to find out it was a joint, been on the pop all day so it hit me almost as hard as the German bloke.

 

Not as funny typed up. Cba with others, very similar to the above.

[Bluto10]

tame ^^^

[ebbe]

ame="Studebaker-90" post="1822224" timestamp="1565904328"]

 

There is no quote machine in this hotel

Hahaha

[BrianFaePerth]

Used to love the old Dee motel, room rental by the hour

That’s an expensive wank

[maryhilldon]

 

 

Missed flight home from Amsterdam from work due to massive MDMA intake (thinking I was partying with others in my hotel rim, but it was all in my head and I was by myself the whole time)

 

 

 

[maryhilldon]

 

 

 

Worst hotel story, paid £270 (as a skint student) for a hotel

Not that fuckin skint then. We're you a trustafarian?

[Torry Tosser]

Used to love the old Dee motel, room rental by the hour

L

O

L

[Redforever86]

Not that fuckin skint then. We're you a trustafarian?

Fit?

 

Worked two part time jobs while at uni.

[Torry Tosser]

I once woke up in a hotel in Berlin with a right hard on,it wouldna go away,so I had to miss going doon for breakfast...Must have been something they wash the sheets in over there.

[The Boofon]

Why does wank not start with a v there Hans?

[ddia]

Throw a girl out of my bedroom when she was naked. Found her trying to steal money from my wallet while I was in bathroom shaving an eyebrow off.

 

True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.

 

 

Went to Dublin for a long weekend stag-do. Did not leave my room all the time I was there apart from going for a kebab. Heebie Jeebies.

 

True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.

 

 

Came back to hotel after a day's work. Cleaner was in room doing her duties. She helped undress me, ran a bath and washed me. No sexual intercourse took place, no money changed hands and she did not make me ejaculate despite me being fully erect for duration.

 

True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.