In the News

[The Gee Man]

It’s equality that’s one sided they are after. Retire earlier, Live longer, get same money. Boom Master Race

[Tommy]

Banff wifie wins £1m in Bounty Draw. 

[DeltaRay1903]

19 hours ago, manboobs109 said:

300 hours community service? That's a fucking joke. 

That's a fair skelp. The maximum. To be seen as a direct alternative to jailtime.  What did he do? 

[GAME OF BILLIONS]

22 hours ago, For Fecks Sake said:

Must be missing something here, but why the fuck would you wait until you are actually pregnant before coming to the conclusion that you cannot afford another child and there by deciding to terminate?

 

 

Err... there used to be these things called, "grandmas". What they were, right, were these old ladies whose house you went to and they gave you soup, custard then a sweetie. Then you played Bamboozle on Channel 4 Teletext with an old manny, "granda" you called him and he used to be a painter and decorator for the council and he played golf at Nigg Bay. Fought in Malta in the Navy in the war. He didnae know the questions about American stuff and that's where you would come in, you'd answer, "Which actor is known for the Beverly Hills Cop films?" and you'd tell him and he'd say, "is that the coloured guy who swears?" and you'd say, "yeah, he's black," then this granda character would go, "I mind fan the first coloured family came to Aberdeen in 1951 - the Browns - they were alright, didnae bother onybody."

They should bring back those grandmas and grandas, they were great. I think they died out or something, stopped being made. Elon Musk could make robot ones.

[Ke1t]

7 minutes ago, GAME OF BILLIONS said:

 

Err... there used to be these things called, "grandmas". What they were, right, were these old ladies whose house you went to and they gave you soup, custard then a sweetie. Then you played Bamboozle on Channel 4 Teletext with an old manny, "granda" you called him and he used to be a painter and decorator for the council and he played golf at Nigg Bay. Fought Malta in the Navy in the war. He didnae know the questions about American stuff and that's where you would come in, you'd answer, "Which actor is known for the Beverly Hills Cop films?" and you'd tell him and he'd say, "is that the coloured guy who swears?" and you'd say, "yeah, he's black," then this granda character would go, "I mind fan the first coloured family came to Aberdeen in 1951, they were alright, didnae bother onybody."

They should bring back those grandmas and grandas, they were great. I think they died out or something, stopped being made. Elon Musk could make robot ones.

I wouldn't let Elon Musk make robot nanna and grampas. 

They'd be like racist hoovers. 

[GAME OF BILLIONS]

19 hours ago, dave_min said:

Respect, from a Toolstation fan.

Really needed to be a B&Q - bum and quim.

[GAME OF BILLIONS]

43 minutes ago, Ke1t said:

I wouldn't let Elon Musk make robot nanna and grampas. 

They'd be like racist hoovers. 

                    "SAMBOS! JIGABOOS! GET BACK TO AFRICA! OOGA-BOOGA-BOOGA!!!"

[Don Fonte]

49 minutes ago, Ke1t said:

I wouldn't let Elon Musk make robot nanna and grampas. 

They'd be like racist hoovers. 

AKA @manboobs109

[GAME OF BILLIONS]

20 hours ago, Ke1t said:

The world of the mink is a strange an unusual place. 

There should be David Attenborough documentaries in 4K, like thon Life on Earth, that explains what they're all about to normal folk. 

Can any resident minks explain why every discussion you try to have almost immediately degenerates into fisticuffs in the gutter with your arse falling out of your sweatpants? 

 

I have a Masters Degree in Minkology, but it was a waste of time in retrospect. I should have studied Cuntology, that's a much more lucrative field these days.

[Hoofball]

1 hour ago, Tommy said:

Banff wifie wins £1m in Bounty Draw. 

Don’t like those pair of Bounty cunts, I’ve no actual reason for my disliking of them but I think they’d be a right couple of arseholes

[Ke1t]

48 minutes ago, GAME OF BILLIONS said:

I have a Masters Degree in Minkology, but it was a waste of time in retrospect. I should have studied Cuntology, that's a much more lucrative field these days.

I've always wished I'd studied some kind of social or psychological discipline. 

I'm genuinely fascinated by how certain groups of people are almost immediately drawn to violence as a means by which to express their opinion, rather than use the multitude of complex languages that humankind has developed over 300,000 years of existence. 

We've gone from grunts and gestures to shit like Mandarin and Esperanto, with a slew of philosophies and teachings that should keep us in deep, meaningful ponderance of everything from the price of milk to the boundaries of the universe.  

You have guys like Hitchens and Dawking who can craft absolutely stunning rhetoric and arguments, who can... with one sentence... make you consider existence itself. 

Meanwhile, outside a Kebab shop in Paisley, two minks will do nothing more than make eye-contact from 50 feet away, and within a fraction of a second they're grappling ineffectually on the pavement, arses out,  madness in their eyes, their pregnant girlfriend screaming, "Fucking kill him, Liam/Declan/Mason!", and a furious need to murder someone they've never met before. 

WHY?

What the fuck is the genetic or mental component that compels the mink, and seperates them from real humans? 

Again, this question is wide open for any of the board's minks to try to answer without getting angry and wanting to to batter someone. 

But you will... you WILL want to batter someone. 

[Ke1t]

46 minutes ago, GAME OF BILLIONS said:

I have a Masters Degree in Minkology, but it was a waste of time in retrospect. I should have studied Cuntology, that's a much more lucrative field these days.

Doubler. 

 

[Don Fonte]

33 minutes ago, Hoofball said:

Don’t like those pair of Bounty cunts, I’ve no actual reason for my disliking of them but I think they’d be a right couple of arseholes

Did you see the nude pictures that leaked of the woman?

Terrific.

[DeltaRay1903]

7 minutes ago, Ke1t said:

I've always wished I'd studied some kind of social or psychological discipline. 

I'm genuinely fascinated by how certain groups of people are almost immediately drawn to violence as a means by which to express their opinion, rather than use the multitude of complex languages that humankind has developed over 300,000 years of existence. 

We've gone from grunts and gestures to shit like Mandarin and Esperanto, with a slew of philosophies and teachings that should keep us in deep, meaningful ponderance of everything from the price of milk to the boundaries of the universe.  

You have guys like Hitchens and Dawking who can craft absolutely stunning rhetoric and arguments, who can... with one sentence... make you consider existence itself. 

Meanwhile, outside a Kebab shop in Paisley, two minks will do nothing more than make eye-contact from 50 feet away, and within a fraction of a second they're grappling ineffectually on the pavement, arses out,  madness in their eyes, their pregnant girlfriend screaming, "Fucking kill him, Liam/Declan/Mason!", and a furious need to murder someone they've never met before. 

WHY?

What the fuck is the genetic or mental component that compels the mink, and seperates them from real humans? 

Again, this question is wide open for any of the board's minks to try to answer without getting angry and wanting to to batter someone. 

But you will... you WILL want to batter someone. 

Not being able to verbalise ones dissatisfaction with a situation causes frustration that can only be dealt with by an outpouring of energy. Invariably negative energy as it's unchanneled. Think toddler throwing something, even their favourite toy or attempting to slash an annoying sibling with a plastic spoon. Education is the key to setting the mink free. That or simply showing them a way to deal with their frustration. Maybe a way to channel their anger and energy into something positive such as boxing. 

[DeltaRay1903]

6 minutes ago, Don Fonte said:

Did you see the nude pictures that leaked of the woman?

Terrific.

Stef from Kincorth? Yes I saw them. 

[Don Fonte]

Just now, DeltaRay1903 said:

Stef from Kincorth? Yes I saw them. 

Dunno her name. Briefly remember they were circulating on WhatsApp.

I didn't like it. Because it degrades women, which I hate. And the culprit is in this chat.

[Arabian Knight]

thir baith minkers..her fanny wis hingin aff ffs

[Simply Red]

15 minutes ago, Don Fonte said:

Did you see the nude pictures that leaked of the woman?

Terrific.

1000 club please el Donte

[DeltaRay1903]

1 minute ago, Don Fonte said:

Dunno her name. Briefly remember they were circulating on WhatsApp.

I didn't like it. Because it degrades women, which I hate. And the culprit is in this chat.

Oh no. I must be getting confused then. This was pre WhatsApp days. She was a bird on one of the football forums. Stand Free if I remember correctly. She accidentally posted a photo of her naked and very ample bosum. Lived on the french riviera so probably connected to the bloke also from Kinkers that loved to boast about being pally with Rod Stewart. Buggered if I can remember his name.  As for degrading women I hate that too. Insisting they swallow doesn't constitute degradation does it? Just checking. 

[chief_wiggum]

4 minutes ago, Don Fonte said:

Dunno her name. Briefly remember they were circulating on WhatsApp.

I didn't like it. Because it degrades women, which I hate. And the culprit is in this chat.

I hate it too but I would like to see said pics to make sure I'm getting angry for all the right reasons.

[milne_afc]

[Don Fonte]

6 minutes ago, DeltaRay1903 said:

Oh no. I must be getting confused then. This was pre WhatsApp days. She was a bird on one of the football forums. Stand Free if I remember correctly. She accidentally posted a photo of her naked and very ample bosum. Lived on the french riviera so probably connected to the bloke also from Kinkers that loved to boast about being pally with Rod Stewart. Buggered if I can remember his name.  As for degrading women I hate that too. Insisting they swallow doesn't constitute degradation does it? Just checking. 

Insisting or forcing?

[Don Fonte]

6 minutes ago, Simply Red said:

1000 club please el Donte

I don't have them Mick min.

[DeltaRay1903]

14 minutes ago, Don Fonte said:

Insisting or forcing?

There's the thing. It's a fine line. 

[Don Fonte]

2 minutes ago, DeltaRay1903 said:

There's the thing. It's a fine line. 

Back in the glory days there was no line.

A simpler time.

[DeltaRay1903]

Just now, Don Fonte said:

Back in the glory days there was no line.

A simpler time.

Uncomfortable truth is that judged by the law as it now stands most men of a certain age would be considered rapists.

It is a complex age to be a young man out trapping in pubs and discos. Boozy birds are high risk. How can they give informed consent while under the influence of drunk the accusers would say. Way the laws are now you'd be better off staying a virgin or visiting an escort.

[Don Fonte]

12 minutes ago, DeltaRay1903 said:

Uncomfortable truth is that judged by the law as it now stands most men of a certain age would be considered rapists.

It is a complex age to be a young man out trapping in pubs and discos. Boozy birds are high risk. How can they give informed consent while under the influence of drunk the accusers would say. Way the laws are now you'd be better off staying a virgin or visiting an escort.

@Bluto10 this guy is talking about you. Don't stand for it 

[Bluto10]

^^^ check out Don Juan here

[NEM]

12 hours ago, Torry Tosser said:

Sheriff Graham Buchanan...HUN NONCE

FIFY

[For Fecks Sake]

😆

https://www.pressandjournal.co.uk/fp/news/crime-courts/6409492/inverurie-man-john-donald-mcboyle-admits-sex-toy-attack/

Inverurie man admits sex toy assault on his elderly neighbour

An Inverurie pensioner has been placed on the sex offenders register after assaulting his former elderly neighbour in Tarves with a sex toy.

John Donald McBoyle visited his then-76-year-old neighbour in the Aberdeenshire village to help fix her boiler but also brought along a vibrator and bottle of lube.

The vulnerable woman, who suffers from anxiety and is a stroke victim, was then cornered by McBoyle, who forced the device upon the terrified woman and insisted that she liked it.

McBoyle, a 73-year-old married father, appeared in the dock at Aberdeen Sheriff Court on Thursday morning when he was put on the sex offenders register ahead of being sentenced in May.

Fiscal depute Anne McDonald told the court: “The complainer in this case was 76 at the time of the offence. She resided alone at the address.

She suffers from anxiety and had suffered a stroke about a year prior to this incident. Because of her frailty and anxiety, she rarely let anyone other than close family enter her house.

“On this particular day, July 26, around 11.45am, the accused was allowed access to the complainer’s house. This was with regard to carrying out work on the boiler there.

“The accused was allowed entry and had access to the kitchen and utility room.

“The accused was still carrying out work at the address at about 3pm when the complainer was in the kitchen and the accused asked her to come through to the utility room to see some work he’d been carrying out.
‘The accused moved closer to her with the vibrator turned on’

“The accused stood very close to her, blocking her in the area between the back wall and the boiler.

“The accused then said, ‘I’ve got a toy’. He picked up a plastic bag and took out a vibrator from the bag, showed the complainer a tube of lubricant and began demonstrating how the vibrator worked