Crush

[daytripping]

What would you do if you had a total crush on a really tidy bird, you get on great with them and she has a great body but you're getting nowhere, you make her laugh like you feel you must be near.

You also have a backlog of other average birds trying to get in about you.

Would you give up the gold and go for the bronze?

Asking for a friend.

[Redforever86]

4 minutes ago, daytripping said:

What would you do if you had a total crush on a really tidy bird, you get on great with them and she has a great body but you're getting nowhere, you make her laugh like you feel you must be near.

You also have a backlog of other average birds trying to get in about you.

Would you give up the gold and go for the bronze?

Asking for a friend.

Aye make her jealous. 

[Beachend Bootboy]

5 minutes ago, daytripping said:

What would you do if you had a total crush on a really tidy bird, you get on great with them and she has a great body but you're getting nowhere, you make her laugh like you feel you must be near.

You also have a backlog of other average birds trying to get in about you.

Would you give up the gold and go for the bronze?

Asking for a friend.

GHB

[milne_afc]

Fuck her off. She’s probably ashamed of her mangled paps or stinky fanny. Would be a disappointment if she unfurled a set of droopers after this long chase.

[daytripping]

5 minutes ago, Redforever86 said:

Aye make her jealous. 

I mentioned a workmate had bought a new build beside my house and I was getting slagged at work....people saying, she's getting closer. Old dear almost slavers over me. The woman in question was almost angry it was even brought up, said to tell them to wise up. haha

Jealousy may be a path to go down. Plus 1 RD, good suggestion. 

[Guest Grays Babylon 1875]

10 minutes ago, Redforever86 said:

Aye make her jealous. 

Birds defo find a brother more desirable when there's other birds sniffing about.

By that logic I should Fuck them all off and go for a pint.

[daytripping]

4 minutes ago, milne_afc said:

Fuck her off. She’s probably ashamed of her mangled paps or stinky fanny. Would be a disappointment if she unfurled a set of droopers after this long chase.

Breasts look majestic with a bra and top on but wrong side of 50, it's fucking roulette time when that clasp gets unclipped. 

[styrofoamplates]

Play her some Lewis Capaldi 

[Beachend Bootboy]

1 minute ago, styrofoamplates said:

Play her some Lewis Capaldi 

Same effect as my GHB suggestion I'd imagine. 😴😴

[Guest Grays Babylon 1875]

16 minutes ago, daytripping said:

Breasts look majestic with a bra and top on but wrong side of 50, it's fucking roulette time when that clasp gets unclipped. 

Pics.

[Fridge]

Send flowers with a nice note.

Or Rohypnol

Your choice.

 

[Hoofball]

Weekend away where he wines and dines her. Then if she lets him ride her and she does have a pair of spaniels ears for tits as @milne_afc fears he either fucks her off or buys her kinky underwear he demands she doesn’t take off as her tits look decent hoisted up.
 

If that doesn’t work just fuck her off and shag multiple bronzes

[daytripping]

1 hour ago, Hoofball said:

Weekend away where he wines and dines her. Then if she lets him ride her and she does have a pair of spaniels ears for tits as @milne_afc fears he either fucks her off or buys her kinky underwear he demands she doesn’t take off as her tits look decent hoisted up.
 

If that doesn’t work just fuck her off and shag multiple bronzes

Can't get a drink down her neck, she just loves walking. I'm like a fucking racing snake I've walked so much. Costing me in trainers.

[Howard Marks]

7 minutes ago, daytripping said:

Can't get a drink down her neck, she just loves walking. I'm like a fucking racing snake I've walked so much. Costing me in trainers.

Got any pics?

[daytripping]

22 minutes ago, Howard Marks said:

Got any pics?

If I did I'd have wanked myself into an early grave. 

[Misers Hill]

3 hours ago, daytripping said:

What would you do if you had a total crush on a really tidy bird, you get on great with them and she has a great body but you're getting nowhere, you make her laugh like you feel you must be near.

You also have a backlog of other average birds trying to get in about you.

Would you give up the gold and go for the bronze?

Asking for a friend.

Bro,you had a knock back fae her fae the Don👙🤔.😆

[BrianFaePerth]

An ex top casual having to beg for fanny. Come on dayts, get a grip, and not of yourself. Get in amongst the moist ladies.

[BrianFaePerth]

On second thoughts, maybe she thinks you’re gay.

[donswin1983]

4 hours ago, Fridge said:

Send flowers with a nice note.

Or Rohypnol

Your choice.

 

You won’t need the ‘nice note’ with the ‘rohypnol’ though. 
entirely up to yourself, of course, but feels somewhat contradictory. Certainly, pre trial! 

[donswin1983]

39 minutes ago, Bad_Mobby said:

Tell her straight, while out on the next walk…

”look, I fancy you and you’re costing me a fortune on trainers. That money would be better spent on wining and dining you (and rubber Jonathan’s) …..now take your bra off or fuck off”

should do the trick 

Straight out of the Errol Flynn handbook! 

[manboobs109]

11 hours ago, daytripping said:

Breasts look majestic with a bra and top on but wrong side of 50, it's fucking roulette time when that clasp gets unclipped. 

That moment when they are unleashed is unparalleled joy. Who gives a fuck if they are floppy. 

I only found out relatively recently that it's a "thing" titdrop videos. Incredible.

[manboobs109]

Hold on for the one you like. She might've been hurt in the past and being cautious. Wait, enjoy the friendship you've got now, and see what happens. 

[For Fecks Sake]

Get her to join the Hat (we could do with more female posters other than Consie and Parkie) and ask her to guess which poster you are?

She will either be putty in your hands or perhaps never speak to you again!

[manboobs109]

If a bird fancies you they will ALWAYS toy fight you. Start a wee playful toy fight, if she responds, you are on the right lines, if she's not impressed, you are fucked.

 

[Hoofball]

10 hours ago, daytripping said:

Can't get a drink down her neck, she just loves walking. I'm like a fucking racing snake I've walked so much. Costing me in trainers.

That’s because she knows the second she touches a drop of drink she’ll be all over you like a rash. Thought about whisking her away for a weekend, turn up at her place of work with flower and tell her you’ll pick her up after work so she better pack a weekend bag

[manboobs109]

13 minutes ago, Bad_Mobby said:

Aye, rugby tackle here down the brae/riverbank and tickle her (fanny)

It's worth a try.

[styrofoamplates]

Is this the new gaylord forum?

[Redforever86]

5 minutes ago, styrofoamplates said:

Is this the new gaylord forum?

Yeah full of fucking vegans 

[johnstrac]

3 hours ago, Bad_Mobby said:

Loiter outside her house and place of work for sporadic intervals (sometimes with your Willy out your spaver) 

You don't hear "spaver" used so much there days, fair play.

[Fridge]

14 minutes ago, johnstrac said:

You don't hear "spaver" used so much there days, fair play.

Alway’s a classic when you manage to pull someone up with your spavers down min. And when it happens to you, the panic of how long it has been.