"Ick" List

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

16 minutes ago, CCB III said:

Is your brother thon Tim from the classic threads? 

😄 Eh, no.

He's a Dandy as well min. 👍

[DD1903]

3 hours ago, CCB III said:

I dunno, MAD. 
 

He just took a green shite and thought we'd find that amusing. 
 

We did, as a bunch of 19/20 year olds. 
 

If he sent it in the group chat now I'm not so sure it would be received the same. You're overthinking it, buddy 

My mates and I are considerably older than you and we'd still find it funny.

[DD1903]

29 minutes ago, chief_wiggum said:

Sure their used to be a thread on here along the lines of " Have you ever shit yourself?" which had some hilarious scat related tales.

I think it's in the classic threads section 

 

in fact. Maybe not!

[CCB III]

1 hour ago, DD1903 said:

My mates and I are considerably older than you and we'd still find it funny.

To be honest, mines probably would as well. 
 

I was just trying to appear like I wasn't a total child. 
 

I very much am. 

[CCB III]

1 hour ago, chief_wiggum said:

Sure their used to be a thread on here along the lines of " Have you ever shit yourself?" which had some hilarious scat related tales.

I was a contributor. Really tried to pose a Cheesepipian writing style on my passage, which as I recall, went over well. 
 

No shame in copying the greats. 

[DD1903]

4 minutes ago, CCB III said:

To be honest, mines probably would as well. 
 

I was just trying to appear like I wasn't a total child. 
 

I very much am. 

Stay that way. 

[CCB III]

1 minute ago, DD1903 said:

Stay that way. 

Ok dad 

[Ke1t]

So, going by that list, basically everything pisses women off about men, and unless you look like Brad Pitt and have a seven or eight figure portfolio her cunt is on offer to the highest bidder. 

And what are they bringing to the table? They can't even play fitba properly. 

[Studebaker-90]

6 minutes ago, Ke1t said:

So, going by that list, basically everything pisses women off about men, and unless you look like Brad Pitt and have a seven or eight figure portfolio her cunt is on offer to the highest bidder. 

And what are they bringing to the table? They can't even play fitba properly. 

Big melons hopefully 

[Ke1t]

5 minutes ago, Studebaker-90 said:

Big melons hopefully 

That's actually a very good point. 

[DD1903]

2 hours ago, CCB III said:

Ok dad 

You’ll look back in years to come and think, “that random guy on that weird aberdeen page was right!”

[Jocky Balboa]

6 hours ago, Studebaker-90 said:

Big melons hopefully 

They ARE the table, according to many postmodern feminists. 

[Howard Marks]

My pal's wife takes great delight in "correcting" nouns and pronouns mid conversation. Interrupts any and every discussion to tell off the person for saying he, she or they in the "incorrect" manner. If you dare use the terms girls, lassies, females or women in a way she doesn't like then she will let you know about it. She even does it with her own family, interrupting her own dad if she feels his pronouns or collective nouns are incorrect.

I think it's a control and elitist thing.

She's also a teacher. 

[Simply Red]

She’ll surely stop when someone tells her to shut her fucking mouth

[milne_afc]

Sounds like Howard needs to walk out on that hoe 

[Poodler]

Anyone here ever been told off for using a wrong pronoun? 
 

genuinely never seen it happen. Never really around those sorts of people (intentionally).

Will always say ‘morning ladies’ when oot at the beach etc (to ladies) and waiting for the day someone bites back in anger 

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

1 hour ago, Howard Marks said:

My pal's wife takes great delight in "correcting" nouns and pronouns mid conversation. Interrupts any and every discussion to tell off the person for saying he, she or they in the "incorrect" manner. If you dare use the terms girls, lassies, females or women in a way she doesn't like then she will let you know about it. She even does it with her own family, interrupting her own dad if she feels his pronouns or collective nouns are incorrect.

I think it's a control and elitist thing.

She's also a teacher. 

She sounds a right, condescending, snobby, domineering cow min (no offence to your pal). 

The sort of person I enjoy in taking down a gypsy's peg set or two.

The next time she is round by your hoose for a dram, spike her drink with some washing-up liquid (well stirred, of course) so it blends seamlessly into the drink she wishes. Perfect if she is a Creme de Menthe or a Cointreau drinker.

Then relax, sit back, and quietly revel in her hypochondria and irrational behaviour that she believes she has some sort of unusual illness, symptoms of which are frothing at the mouth, loss of taste, heart palpitations, hypohydrosis, etc.

[Simply Red]

‘Excuse me mate’ to a couple of butch lesbians to get past them in the Stag bar on 2 separate occasions. Thought they were bloody blokes. 

 

[Poodler]

5 minutes ago, Simply Red said:

‘Excuse me mate’ to a couple of butch lesbians to get past them in the Stag bar on 2 separate occasions. Thought they were bloody blokes. 

 

How is your mum anyway?

[BrianFaePerth]

2 hours ago, Poodler said:

Anyone here ever been told off for using a wrong pronoun? 
 

genuinely never seen it happen. Never really around those sorts of people (intentionally).

Will always say ‘morning ladies’ when oot at the beach etc (to ladies) and waiting for the day someone bites back in anger 

All that she/her shite pisses me off. Eh ken you’re a burd, eh have letched at your bosom and arse

[chief_wiggum]

6 minutes ago, BrianFaePerth said:

All that she/her shite pisses me off. Eh ken you’re a burd, eh have letched at your bosom and arse

[Parklife]

13 minutes ago, BrianFaePerth said:

All that she/her shite pisses me off. Eh ken you’re a burd, eh have letched at your bosom and arse

You letched off your wife to be allowed in to Australia. 

Fucking loser. 

[Dad]

Mrs Brian, taking one for Team: World

 

A top lassie 

[JumboJET]

2 hours ago, Simply Red said:

‘Excuse me mate’ to a couple of butch lesbians to get past them in the Stag bar on 2 separate occasions. Thought they were bloody blokes. 

 

I once dropped a "cheers mate" to a butch lesbo delivery driver.

It gave me a dirty look and left with a barely audible grunt.

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

1 hour ago, JumboJET said:

I once dropped a "cheers mate" to a butch lesbo delivery driver.

It gave me a dirty look and left with a barely audible grunt.

That's like the last time I phoned Sky TV. Spoke to an effeminate person (the 4th person I conversed with during the same call) who called themselves Christopher.

When I phoned back Sky the following day, I was asked to describe who I spoke to the previous day. I was thoughtfully honest and told it as it was heard by my lugs.

Eventually gained £50 compo for the pain😄 and inconvenience caused by having no access to subscribed-for TV services for 9 days.

[Ke1t]

7 hours ago, Howard Marks said:

My pal's wife takes great delight in "correcting" nouns and pronouns mid conversation. Interrupts any and every discussion to tell off the person for saying he, she or they in the "incorrect" manner. If you dare use the terms girls, lassies, females or women in a way she doesn't like then she will let you know about it. She even does it with her own family, interrupting her own dad if she feels his pronouns or collective nouns are incorrect.

I think it's a control and elitist thing.

She's also a teacher. 

100% controlling behaviour. 

And if you push back against it she'll despise you, because there's nothing those types hate more than someone who doesn't cave to their demands. 

One of the wife's mate's husbands was like that. Constantly telling people what they should and shouldn't be doing. I'd laugh at his shit all the time. 

Does she also have an overwhelming need to be the most important person in the room at all times?

 

 

 

[Bluto10]

3 hours ago, Parklife said:

You letched off your wife to be allowed in to Australia. 

Fucking loser. 

the word is leeched, parklife.

[Parklife]

2 minutes ago, Bluto10 said:

the word is leeched, parklife.

I know, Emily. I know. 

That didn't fucking work though. 

Back to the utility rim with you. 

[maryhilldon]

Huge tranny in my work (tranny's always seem to be built like rugby players) took the hump when one of the chefs called him sir. He claimed he calls everyone sir, im not sure that's true though.

[Howard Marks]

14 hours ago, Ke1t said:

100% controlling behaviour. 

And if you push back against it she'll despise you, because there's nothing those types hate more than someone who doesn't cave to their demands. 

One of the wife's mate's husbands was like that. Constantly telling people what they should and shouldn't be doing. I'd laugh at his shit all the time. 

Does she also have an overwhelming need to be the most important person in the room at all times?

 

 

 

Most controlling person in the room? Yes, I would say so. I've known a few woman teachers over the years and although the traits range from mild to extreme, they all seem to have that self righteous never off the clock attitude, treating those around them as if they are school pupils. In this particular case, the correcting of people's language is particularly grating. Apparently I am "controversial" in what I say around her. Given that I am a fairly polite well spoken chap most of the time, I am not sure exactly what is controversial. She had a go at her husband for using the term "female" last time I was up.