Online Reviews of Restaurants etc

[milne_afc]

Share your favourites here.

 

 

[Parklife]

8 minutes ago, milne_afc said:

Share your favourites here.

 

 

That second place has the right idea. 

Adult only restaurants should be a thing. Nothing worse (@Hanz) than going out for dinner and there's screaming kids ruining the ambience of the place. 

[The Boofon]

[JumboJET]

[chief_wiggum]

1 minute ago, JumboJET said:

Which pub is this? .........Asking for a Tim friend 

[For Fecks Sake]

Love these reviews! Currently looking at hotels for the Easter break and guaranteed while 99.9% of reviews are 5* ratings you ALWAYS get that one person who gives it a 1* rating stating that it was "The worst hotel EVER" for some reason or another.

Think we all know where the real problem lies!

[The Boofon]

2 hours ago, For Fecks Sake said:

Love these reviews! Currently looking at hotels for the Easter break and guaranteed while 99.9% of reviews are 5* ratings you ALWAYS get that one person who gives it a 1* rating stating that it was "The worst hotel EVER" for some reason or another.

Think we all know where the real problem lies!

The 1 star review amongst all the 5 star reviews will sometimes be a good indicator of how good the place actually is.

 

Example A.

 

 

 

[For Fecks Sake]

15 minutes ago, The Boofon said:

The 1 star review amongst all the 5 star reviews will sometimes be a good indicator of how good the place actually is.

Example A.

Friend of mine's wife works in a local popular country hotel and he says that the amount of folk who try to blag a free weekend by stating that they are "top social media influencers" and how they will promote the hotel favourably to their followers if they are allowed to stay for free is unreal.

They are always politely told to fuck off.

[BrianFaePerth]

Might have been a man of violence 🤔

[Don Fonte]

12 minutes ago, BrianFaePerth said:

Might have been a man of violence 🤔

I'd have loved the MOV to get his hands on you Brizo. (Not in a gay way before you pull out your usual joke)

[BrianFaePerth]

16 minutes ago, Don Fonte said:

I'd have loved the MOV to get his hands on you Brizo. (Not in a gay way before you pull out your usual joke)

As long as eh removed any stepladders from the vicinity eh would be fine.

[Don Fonte]

2 minutes ago, BrianFaePerth said:

As long as eh removed any stepladders from the vicinity eh would be fine.

What about when you were shagging and horizontal?

Ah OK correct, never mind.

[Arabian Knight]

cunts seethin e nivir made eh grade fir epsteens island

[Poodler]

Can’t be bothered finding it but an old review for Paco’s Taco’s (run out of the Gaslamp);

someone left a bad review saying ‘they wouldn’t even give it to their dog’ 

the owner (an old associate of mine) replied ‘if you consider giving your dog Mexican food then that says more about you than it does about us’ 

 

An enjoyable exchange for us snide regulars at the time 

[For Fecks Sake]

The owner at Cafe 52 got into an online spat with some women who left a poor review and basically got her to admit she was pished and in the wrong!

[Bluto10]

wow!

[Dandie1992]

Anyone got the review someone left of an Indian in Aberdeen - tells the story of the Indian delivery wifie locking herself in his bathroom, placing a long distance call to India on his phone before scarpering out his window?

The climax of the story involves him cutting the phone line and her screaming "Potato? POTATO!?" before pinging his phone off the wall.

A humorous classic which I've been looking for again for years. 

 

[Don Fonte]

2 hours ago, Dandie1992 said:

Anyone got the review someone left of an Indian in Aberdeen - tells the story of the Indian delivery wifie locking herself in his bathroom, placing a long distance call to India on his phone before scarpering out his window?

The climax of the story involves him cutting the phone line and her screaming "Potato? POTATO!?" before pinging his phone off the wall.

A humorous classic which I've been looking for again for years. 

 

Are you on drugs?

[dave_min]

53 minutes ago, Don Fonte said:

Are you on drugs?

You offering?

[Dandie1992]

54 minutes ago, Don Fonte said:

Are you on drugs?

Not this early on a Friday, no... Which is unfortunate because I'm in the office today and doing the boring shit I fucked off until after Christmas. 

Must of been like 15 year ago that review was going around. 

[Don Fonte]

20 minutes ago, dave_min said:

You offering?

PM me bbz 

[Clydeside_Sheep]

The best one I saw on Google was for "The Avenue", Bishopbriggs - a bar restaurant, mockingly referred to as "The Only Way is Bishopbriggs" due to the clientele.

A girl was attending a friends 'do' and was enjoying herself, but her evening was ruined when she went to the toilet and "suddenly stepped on a human shite that someone had casually left lying around"  🤣

She summed up the review by saying she had enjoyed the food etc but "cleaning human shite off her new shoes" was responsible for the low mark  🤣

I also saw a Google review for a hotel in Varanasi, India, right on the River Ganges (at those famous stairs leading down to the River).  Some boy was complaining the grounds were over-run by vicious monkeys which would attack patrons and the staff would do fuck all.  He went on to describe a desperate battle he and his ageing mother had fought against the monkeys during their stay 🤣

 

[Ramandu]

Some video review about some Chinese out in the sticks with beilin hat soup.

More of an anecdote than a review, really.

[CCB III]

11 hours ago, Poodler said:

Can’t be bothered finding it but an old review for Paco’s Taco’s (run out of the Gaslamp);

someone left a bad review saying ‘they wouldn’t even give it to their dog’ 

the owner (an old associate of mine) replied ‘if you consider giving your dog Mexican food then that says more about you than it does about us’ 

 

An enjoyable exchange for us snide regulars at the time 

I'd ordered from Pacos Tacos a few times, once I realised it was coming out the Gaslamp I felt physically sick. 
 

 

[Howard Marks]

Paco's Tacos is top notch.

[Bluto10]

nae as good as leahs quesadillas 

[Howard Marks]

9 hours ago, Sooper-hanz said:

Rita’s Fajitas is decent as well. 

Where's that like? 

[Ramandu]

9 hours ago, Sooper-hanz said:

There was nice was a lady named Rita,

Who lived n the town of Akita,

She was hungry one night,

And said “ After this shite,

Im going to make some fajitas “

Get rid of the last 's', it's an abomination. Otherwise, 6/10.

[muttonhumper]

On 1/11/2024 at 7:46 PM, Studebaker-90 said:

 

broadsword in Tilly 

Broadsword was decent late 80s.
Aye, you knew there were cunts that would slice you up there if you got on their wrang side, so easy solution.

Dinna get on their wrang side. 

While doing shutdowns at Mugiemoss as sparky roond aboot then, we'd mostly go to the Tower.

But now and then Broadsword.
Then go back to work blootered and sleep up top o a scaffold to complete the 12 oor shift. 

[The Boofon]

9 hours ago, muttonhumper said:

Broadsword was decent late 80s.
Aye, you knew there were cunts that would slice you up there if you got on their wrang side, so easy solution.

Dinna get on their wrang side. 

While doing shutdowns at Mugiemoss as sparky roond aboot then, we'd mostly go to the Tower.

But now and then Broadsword.
Then go back to work blootered and sleep up top o a scaffold to complete the 12 oor shift. 

Sounds like a Hutch job that Broadsword incident.