Pet Hates

[Redforever86]

Cunts wanting a free last minute cancelation cause their father in law has died.

 

Claim the cost on your travel insurance fuck all to do with me.

[Poodler]

Internet providers.

 

£50 to move address

 

Goodbye

[Poodler]

Dildo on his corpse

[Poodler]

Cheap bin bags

No need for the hassle of a bin bag ripping

 

Just pay the extra quid and get decent ones.

[YorkDon]

Cheap bin bags

No need for the hassle of a bin bag ripping

 

Just pay the extra quid and get decent ones.

^this

 

Cheap tea bags too-horrible pissy tea...

[BrianFaePerth]

I heartily recommend Simple Human binbags, terrific quality.

Are they your preferred option for the disposing of your victims?

[Redforever86]

If they can give you proof then give them a wee discount

 

If I can resell the room I never charge people fuck all. Often let them stay at another date for free if I can't resell it also.

 

But I just can't abide folk coming the cunt, thinking they are special and the terms don't apply to them. Telling me Singapore airlines is refunding their flight so I should too. 

 

Get to fuck min, if I had a father in law that died and I decided to close the place leaving him to have to sleep on the street but I never charged them I'm sure that'd be fine....

[BrianFaePerth]

Good to see Scottish customer service is as wonderful as ever.

[S2RDS]

Cheap bog roll... one doesn't choose to wipe ones arse with fucking sandpaper.

 

Also, thon toilet roll dispensers that distribute one thin sheet of paper at a time... fits the point. 

[Studebaker-90]

Greedy bastards

 

People that take more than their fair share. On a course and the boy I’m sat next to is a mammoth. 2 massive full plates of buffet food at lunch and he’s tanned all the water on the table himself just about. Just because you’re 21 stone doesn’t mean you can help yourself to everything.

[The Boofon]

Greedy bastards

 

People that take more than their fair share. On a course and the boy I’m sat next to is a mammoth. 2 massive full plates of buffet food at lunch and he’s tanned all the water on the table himself just about. Just because you’re 21 stone doesn’t mean you can help yourself to everything.

 

He’s Probably watching Peak Practice later. I’ve never seen it.

[Studebaker-90]

Bloody repeat.... not for me I hadn’t seen it

[Redforever86]

Good to see Scottish customer service is as wonderful as ever.

 

I should lose money cause some yankee cunt can't be bothered to claim on his travel insurance (or is a spaz and doesn't have any).

 

Wise up, I've got lagers to buy.

[Foster14]

smh

 

It's just annoying.

[Studebaker-90]

Yeah.... and he also intimated the one of his weaknesses was eczema

[manboobs109]

The quality of fruit in the supermarkets. Bought some 'ripe and ready' pears, you could smash windows with the cunts. Same with the nectarines I bought. Robbing cunts.

[eeps]

Aye come on now manchebs - test thy fruit. Its simple maths.

True, however labeling rock hard fruit 'ripe and ready' is taking ze piss unless they mean ready for knocking some cunt out.

[elephantstone78]

I heartily recommend sainsburys own quilted toilet roll - terrific quality.

I heartily recommend sainsburys own quilted toilet roll - terrific quality.

Pops, you are like a poundshop social media influencer. You should have a you tube channel where you can promote basic household goods. A budget Kardashian

 

What soap powder do you recommend?

[Parklife]

I heartily recommend Simple Human binbags, terrific quality.

Consider using one to asphyxiate yourself.

[elephantstone78]

The phrase "to die for" when describing food.

Fuck off.

Ive started pulling folk up on it. "The Carrot Cake was so good you would end your existence on the planet was it?"

My wife then pulls me up about it later saying I'm the embarrassing cunt.

Does your good lady also correct you / the kids when you / they say you’re starving?

Mine has started doing this and it’s beginning to grate.

[Parklife]

Does your good lady also correct you / the kids when you / they say you’re starving?

Mine has started doing this and it’s beginning to grate.

My mum always used to say "you might be hungry but you're hardly starving"

 

Awww fuck off. It's a figure of speech.

[manboobs109]

Canna beat a good nectarine

 

Messy hoors, though

Same with pomegranates. Love them but they are a right cunt to eat.

[Arabian Knight]

fruits nae fir ye.. it winna pit the meat oan yer breests.. hawl eh picked these hings up oan the wiy hame the nicht n eh thot eh yersel whin eh taein thim oot the freezer

fir when yer tae lazy tae cook.. thi hit the spot

[Ke1t]

"I need a shite" is also quite a weird thing to say.

 

"Well here you go my good pal. I have one right here in my bag just for you. Need no more"

 

 

They're using shite as a verb, you're hearing it as a noun. 

 

Before doling out gratis feces, ask them how they intend shite to read. 

 

If they say 'noun' then, yes, hand them their free shite, but it might also be a good idea to change the kind of company you keep inna. 

[manboobs109]

fruits nae fir ye.. it winna pit the meat oan yer breests.. hawl eh picked these hings up oan the wiy hame the nicht n eh thot eh yersel whin eh taein thim oot the freezer

https://i.postimg.cc/286fRsmx/DSC-0036.jpg

fir when yer tae lazy tae cook.. thi hit the spot

You should get some pomegranate molasses for your home Brew AK. Nice addition for an IPA I reckon

[Arabian Knight]

thats tae gimmicky aw cunts ir daein that the noo..but eh hiv succumbed tae the gimmickynes eh the daft name n label design fir it..came tae meh lest nicht oot the blu- 'mr mols merried fir love ipa' n its jist goat ez weddin photo n a fancy blu font..still workin oan the fine detail then eh need thon connor cunt daein the merketin fir it

[Studebaker-90]

I had used to have a manager that would say “a change of tact” which was annoying.

 

Also never understood “like a duck out of water”. Ducks are actually pretty comfortable out of water.

[looksgoodinred]

Same with pomegranates. Love them but they are a right cunt to eat.

 

you're welcome.

 

[Parklife]

Harsh son

Arch I don't mean it. Just trying to fit in with the ambience around here.

[Fridge]

Folk needlessly escalating stuff to HR. FFS just go and speak to them or your supervisor and tell them you weren’t happy with their advances or kick him in the balls. Basically he tried it on on a night out. It’s nae like he fucking raped you. Just causes a world of pain for all involved.