Pet Hates

[Betty Swallicks]

Throbbers - just fkn drive.

 

Driving is shit though since your nae allowed to drink or use the internet at the same time.

 

Fucking PC Brigade.

[BrianFaePerth]

100% true.

 

I spend New Year's Day running around Dundee (and as far as Fife) and not one single bastard said hello.

 

Of course it's not coz you're a cunt

[dave_min]

Of course it's not coz you're a cunt

 

Agreed, all Dundonians are bastards.

[Foster14]

How come on American tv programmes when folk are getting their heads stuck down the toilet by a bully or somesuch, their heid's always drenched?

I've not been to America, but are their bogs wider and deeper than European ones?

You'd need a really thin head to get it soaked by bullies back home.

What if you flushed it while your head was in it?

[RAZOR]

The American Shameless is much more raunchy. Veronica is worth a dunt.

[manboobs109]

I didn't even know theres an American Shameless. Netflix? Any good?

[BWG]

They're not flushing it though

 

Frank from the American Shameless was nearly drownt when I watched him getting a shake down in the bogs of his local

 

Every time he was brought up to allow him a breath and explain himself, his whole heid was drenched

 

Thought it was a bit too far fetched and switched it off in disgust.

Actually yes. American toilets are weird. The water is a lot deeper. Its horrible cause you're having a shit and its just bobbing about inches under your arse.

[chief_wiggum]

Plus the public bathroom cubicles are ridiculously exposed...door too low and gap at the bottom over a foot off the floor; fucking pervy cunts.

 

I was in a cubicle in Busch Gardens and some bloke next to me had his foot (in a Brazil trainer) actually invading my cubicle space, fair put me off my shite.

In some yank toilets the waters higher to start with but when you flush, it fills up even more as if it's blocked, making you think it's going to wash your turd onto the floor before sooking it down quickly.

[maryhilldon]

Street dance troupes. Zzzzz

[E-P-K]

Is @@E-P-K dead?

 

Far from it Bloots,

 

Just had a very busy last month.

[RAZOR]

 

Far from it Bloots,

 

Just had a very busy last month.

Some cycle you had the other day round Moray. Are you training for anything?

 

Edit : Forgot about the Britain cycle.

[E-P-K]

Some cycle you had the other day round Moray. Are you training for anything?

 

Edit : Forgot about the Britain cycle.

 

Fancy joining me for the "Longest day bicycle challenge" in June, Around Aberdeenshire and Moray. 250 miles. start at 3am.

[RAZOR]

Fancy joining me for the "Longest day bicycle challenge" in June, Around Aberdeenshire and Moray. 250 miles. start at 3am.

 

My ass gets sore at about mile 20. Anything I can do to cure?

[E-P-K]

My ass gets sore at about mile 20. Anything I can do to cure?

 

You seat angle is likely incorrect.,

[The Boofon]

I reckon we'd have tamed the cunts by now .

Stupid bastards anyway yer dinosaur.

If they were a problem they would be easily led over the edge of a cliff

following a trail of mince .

MIssing line in that limerick pal. You on #cans

[Chewie37]

My ass gets sore at about mile 20. Anything I can do to cure?

Stop going to Mile 20? Is it a gay bar?

[Guest]

We are calling to make you aware...

 

Fuck off landline. Why do we have one anyway?

[maryhilldon]

^ To get internet?

[Dal Riata Don]

Car SOS when they do up the motor of some obviously rich cunt who could afford it anyway.

 

One on the other night, the house had railings round it, looked like Bruce Waynes gaff. I spied a Jag in the drive as well that Inspector Morse would've wanked himself over. They still done up his MG. Should've keyed it.

 

Don't like the show when they do up the motor for a decent [usually] bloke who you can tell; soon as he's popped his clogs that vehicle is going straight on the market as his family look proper scheming gits.

 

When they do up the car for some fella who seems genuinely grateful and you can tell that his family will cherish it as a memory of him - top telly.

[Guest]

Reminds me DRD of an oldie but a goody. On the off chance that someone hasn't heard it before...

 

A grippit NE family phones the P & J to put a bereavement notice in. They're asking about prices and learn that it's free if less than 10 words. Aye we'll call ye back they says. And they did.

 

The next morning in the Births, Deaths and Marriages this appeared: -

 

Peter Reid fae Peterheid is deid. Volvo for sale.

[Parklife]

Reminds me DRD of an oldie but a goody. On the off chance that someone hasn't heard it before...

 

A grippit NE family phones the P & J to put a bereavement notice in. They're asking about prices and learn that it's free if less than 10 words. Aye we'll call ye back they says. And they did.

 

The next morning in the Births, Deaths and Marriages this appeared: -

 

Peter Reid fae Peterheid is deid. Volvo for sale.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=m_C0axennQw

[RAZOR]

Thanks for that Robin Galloway.

[Guest]

Thanks for that Robin Galloway.

Went to school with Gags. He was a ladies man and he wore a Rangers scarf.

 

Selt speed oot o Villas when he was DJ'ing there.

[Chewie37]

Wasn't it the Red Final who had the anagram of his name? A bo-oring wally

[RAZOR]

Went to school with Gags. He was a ladies man and he wore a Rangers scarf.

 

Selt speed oot o Villas when he was DJ'ing there.

Disappointed to hear he's a Hun. He's dead to me now.

[dazzy_deff]

Disappointed to hear he's a Hun. He's dead to me now.

Ill be taping over my Birthday Spot mention by him now I know that. Hun bastard.

[dazzy_deff]

Went to school with Gags. He was a ladies man and he wore a Rangers scarf.

 

Selt speed oot o Villas when he was DJ'ing there.

He must have had an easier paper round ?

[Chewie37]

Disappointed to hear he's a Hun. He's dead to me now.

You'll never watch Wheel of Fortune again....

[Guest]

Did he like the old hairbrush up the arse at school Rocket ?

 

He was a weird kinda cunt but he never did me any harm. Very quiet at school, kept himself to himself as far as the boys were concerned, was always walking with the girls but somehow we knew he wasn't a faggot. Got to know him more after we left school but not that well. Got a shock when he came out with that Hector Brocklebank stuff which I liked at the time. Hadn't seen him for 20 years until I heard him on Radio Clyde as I was driving past the weeg and phoned up to the radio station. I asked for Robin Galloway, was told that he had just gone to the toilet, can I leave a message, yes, have you got pen and paper, yes, write this down please, "Gags"... it's me, it's me he said. Told him who it was, asked him if he heard through friends reunited that there was a school reunion happening, had a wee chat and haven't spoken to him since. Nae a bad cunt. Does his own thing.

[HairyPie]

he wore a Rangers scarf

 

Nae a bad cunt. Does his own thing.

 

Now that there is just crazy talk.