NSFW 18+ Spiken Sh*t

[Clydeside_Sheep]

Her accent is shocking, proper manky, nasal weegie.

 

I can only listen to about 10 seconds of that.

 

You could probably get a good dozen or so rides in, before reaching the limit of your tolerance :laughing:

[strachanmcgheegoal]

Can I just ask, at what point as you ask your better half to touch her toes, have a good look and then say stuff like "aye it's mair o a sheriffs badge than a starfish" do you expect to be told to sling yer hook? I'd respectfully suggest it would be after the words "could you just"

[reekie_dock]

Can I just ask, at what point as you ask your better half to touch her toes, have a good look and then say stuff like "aye it's mair o a sheriffs badge than a starfish" do you expect to be told to sling yer hook? I'd respectfully suggest it would be after the words "could you just"

Best time to do it for me is full them full oh biff and wine, get them to squirt by using the Reekie Dock special two fingers... Then they'll do anything for you as they'll think your a sexual God!

 

That was Friday nights experience anyway.

 

But as your with your burd, best just get started by licking her ass while you have her bent over see how she likes it then commend her on having the nicest Tea Towel Holder you have ever seen.....

 

Compliments are always a winner!!

[reekie_dock]

Am getting myself the tidiest set oh sliders for the Ozarks. The daft yanks will all be deep in awe oh my manly ness cause i can rock the sliders look with white socks on too.... Strong is my coolness!!!

[ChutneyLove]

You've got to watch in the States though. Women have been known to go for the slider look themselves. They don't look right. Sort of like in a woman wearing a tank-top or dungarees isn't right either. Or on a golf course. Or driving a car. Just nae richt.

[looksgoodinred]

What's wrong with women in tank tops?

 

[ChutneyLove]

Exceptions to every rule LGIR, though that's a vest in my book.

[reekie_dock]

 

Fao Chutney and the Poodler

 

This is a pic oh my mates Paki Slider's at the fitba the night?

 

Whats your opinion?

 

No Tassels though.......

[The Cockney Don]

Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakin slippers .

[ChutneyLove]

Poodles would be tonguing for the Dandys with those specials on.

Edit to add - you do realise Pittodrie is a no smoking venue?

[ChutneyLove]

I think real deal paki sliders need to be leather, too. Or even faux leather. Those things are just bad shoes.

[reekie_dock]

I wasn't to Impressed with them myself however thought id get the Opinion oh the Hat's very own Paki Slider Police.

 

As for the Smoking South, Stand uncovered section. Id like to have seen the Stewards get me out oh there place was rammed!!!

[Tyrant]

I wasn't to Impressed with them myself however thought id get the Opinion oh the Hat's very own Paki Slider Police.

 

As for the Smoking South, Stand uncovered section. Id like to have seen the Stewards get me out oh there place was rammed!!!

 

 

It's folk like you that are the worst kind of scum. Making folk breathe second hand smoke just because you reckon the rule is hard to enforce!

[looksgoodinred]

Can I just ask, at what point as you ask your better half to touch her toes, have a good look and then say stuff like "aye it's mair o a sheriffs badge than a starfish" do you expect to be told to sling yer hook? I'd respectfully suggest it would be after the words "could you just"

 

http://www.gq.com/life/mens-lives/201408/anal-sex-advice

 

Concern No. 2: You don't know how to ask

If your problem is one of propriety, worry not. It's 2014; most women aren't going to clutch their bonnets and run screaming if you ask for something (politely!) in bed. If she doesn't want to do crack with you, she'll say "No thanks," and the world will continue to spin on its majestic axis.

Alternatively, you can nonverbally imply that you'd like to explore the general area, and see how she responds. Maybe drift south while going down on her, or move her hands toward your ass-end and see if she responds positively. We're talking enthusiastic "Yes, yes, yes!" levels of consent. That's a green light to see if she'd like to go further, via sacking up and telling her what you'd like to do to her or that you think it'd be pretty grand if she'd reciprocate in kind.

Just promise that you will never try to sneak in the back door. Promise.

[The Cockney Don]

ooooooh you nawty girl .

[looksgoodinred]

hardly. just providing motherly advice.

[dave_min]

That sounds like a rule to me.

[zander]

Section Y is bandit country.

 

Smoking,drinking and sick songs are not forbidden but actively encouraged.

[Poodler]

hehe - up the dons

Chutters, old boy, how has the weekend treated you? Back on the nights, got a mannie who may slip away tonight but no desk calendar in sight. Shite

[ChutneyLove]

Aye, good weekend Poodles min - drank about 4 cases of beer to masel - fuck, I sound like Blurto!!

 

Bloke fae my work is on his deathbed - don't think he'll see the end of this week. On the plus side, I found a tipp-ex marker in his drawer - every cloud .....

[Poodler]

I hope that amount didn't hamper your performance between the sheets min? ChutneysLover deserves shaky legged orgasms.

 

You going to read out the thought for the day at his funeral? I wonder what would be most Appropriate/ inappropriate for the occasion...

[rumpus]

Getting wanked off by a bloke is no big deal.

[tup]

I can think of people that I'd rather tell a story about being tossed off by.

reekie dock?

[Poodler]

Getting wanked off by a bloke is no big deal.

You got a small cock too?

 

I've double teamed a gypsy before and I lost my boner. My mate got me right back in action with a superb wrist movement, a gentlemans nod was exchanged and no more was ever said of it.

[rumpus]

You got a small cock too?

 

I've double teamed a gypsy before and I lost my boner. My mate got me right back in action with a superb wrist movement, a gentlemans nod was exchanged and no more was ever said of it.

 

 

My chum once took a girl back to our hotel room with the intention of us both giving her a right royal seeing to.

 

It wasn't a very nice hotel and the WC was at the other end of the corrider. She was bursting for the toilet, but as it was far away she pulled the plastic rubbish bucket into the middle of the floor and pished in it.

 

I threw her out. Standards have to be adhered to regardless of surroundings.

[Poodler]

Why didn't you offer your mouth as a home for her golden purity? That split second where you're staring up at her snatch before she starts squirting is exactly the same as waiting for Anderson to lift the league cup.

[rumpus]

A big green +1 fae me chum

 

Excellent comparison!

[The Boofon]

Getting tossed off by Sir Cliff would be a great pub tale.

Only topped by fingering the queen.

 

If your Belgium v Columbia match can be arranged for Friday (or Saturday) then I'm in the starting 11.

[minijc]

Only topped by fingering the queen.

 

If your Belgium v Columbia match can be arranged for Friday (or Saturday) then I'm in the starting 11.

Big fan of fingering like, been told I'm a bit rough though, imagine Harvey Price with a bowling ba.

[Poodler]

Big fan of fingering like, been told I'm a bit rough though, imagine Harvey Price with a bowling ba.

Superb comment!

 

Pipes I have issues with the old dogster. I've only kint one bird who is proper arse in the air and arched back, the rest have had to be taught. She bides in hilton btw. Really upsets me when birds just bend over, head down and take it. Amateur shite. They Clearly don't watch enough porn.