Thumbing A Lift

[Karl Fletcher]

Years ago, I picked up a weird looking quine on Union Grove who actually initially looked in trouble. She ran in front of my car looking distressed and then asked if she could get a lift.

 

Dropped her off on King Street somewhere but not before she'd tried to sell me counterfit foreign money.

 

She wasna the full shilling.

 

She was probably a prostitute when I think back

[boboisared]

I'd pick up someone, nae bother.

 

Fairly confident I could handle myself if they acted the cunt.

 

I doubt I'd ever hitch hike myself though, but then again I'm not a pikey.

 

Anyway, fit are all these LGIR pictures that abody is mentioning in the awards thread? Have I missed something?

 

 

my earlier avatar pictures. or they're pulling your leg. and no you are not.

 

would you give a lift to more than just one person though? i'd be cautious of having someone sitting behind me while i was driving. a bit hard to defend yourself from them, no?

Ha ha she's lying Karl. Full frontal pics. If you want them PM me.

 

Why else do you think she's running away with best newcomer?

[daytripping]

 

The other bonus is that you get to hear about their awful life and it makes all your problems seem tiny in comparison.

 

Have you read the Restlessness thread on mad today, jesus I thought I was slightly fucked up till I read that one, mad seems to have a few on the verge of madness/suicide, they should maybe consider the common thing they all share and switch over to the hat.

[Bobby Connor]

me? think everyone is out to get me? lol no. but i'd still worry about a lone young man picking up more than one, as indeed i'd worry about my own son doing it.

 

and i do find it odd how a couple of posters have mentioned "normal looking" as an indicator of being safe. define your normal? clean? decently dressed?

 

Context...

 

A bunch of kids in wellies will get a lift from Belladrum to Inverness, for example.

 

Some bloke with a glass eye and a spiders web tattoo on his neck is gonna be walking.

[boboisared]

Years ago, I picked up a weird looking quine on Union Grove who actually initially looked in trouble. She ran in front of my car looking distressed and then asked if she could get a lift.

 

Dropped her off on King Street somewhere but not before she'd tried to sell me counterfit foreign money.

 

She wasna the full shilling.

 

She was probably a prostitute when I think back

What a life you used to lead!

[Karl Fletcher]

What a life you used to lead!

 

They're going to make a film about me.

 

A reckless young Gambler who turned his life around and is now AFC-Chat's nicest guy

[boboisared]

They're going to make a film about me.

 

A reckless young Gambler who turned his life around and is now AFC-Chat's nicest guy

I remember the time you turned up at Nat Frasers door with a fishing rod and a KFC too.

[ChutneyLove]

Next up...

Was driving from Ayshire to Aberdeen - though had to stop in Perth. My mate and I had just burnt out his Fiesta on a country road in Perth the week before and the police wanted to see him about some paperwork. Turns out when we got to Perth the reason they wanted to see him was to charge him with dumping the car. We had written directions to the place we were going to burn out the car on a scrap of paper - anyway, he dropped his end of the scrap of paper where we torched the jalopy. Unfortunately the scrap of paper we'd used was a receipt of his for buying petrol earlier that night - put paid to his story of not having seen the car for a few days. Anyway, we leave the copshop in Perth and start driving North. As we are getting on to the dualler there is a fat bloke with a beard hitching - being a hitcher myself I slow down to pick him up - my mate says not to as he wants to go over what he's going to do re the coppers. Too late, the fatso has the door open and is in the car - within 1 second I realise this is a mistake, because he smells like pishy corner fae under Debenhams. I then tell him we're going to Arbroath so that we don't have to take him so far. We get to the Arbroath turn on the A92 and I stop across from it. He just sits there. I said, "Ok mate, this is as far as we're going". He starts disputing where we are heading, saying he knows we're going to Aberdeen. Anyway, cue an argument about how it doesn't matter where we're going he's got to get out. He sits there, arms folded and won't budge. My mate and I then get out - the bloke is about the size of the two of us and start struggling with him - he eventually gives and stumbles about at the side of the road. We get back in the car and drive off, not even taking the turn off to Arbroath. I could see him in the rear view mirror shouting and swearing - in fact he looked like he was trying to run after the car. Later, when we're just about in Portlethen, we're both laughing about the bloke - but swear we can still smell him. Turns out he's left his stinky gloves in the footwell of the back seat - think that's why he was chasing after us. Don't normally litter, but those bad boys were launched out the window somewhere near Portlethen Golf Club. Could still smell the cunt weeks later, car needed a full detail with fabric wash.

[zander]

Got loads of hitch-hiking stories for a couple of reasons:

i) I used to hitch hike a lot because I was usually skint

ii) Picked up hitch-hikers a lot over the years because I know what it's like to be standing waiting for ages for a lift

 

Don't pick them up any more because you don't see them. Used to hitch mainly because I was going a long way and had nae money to pay for a train / bus / petrol (aye, used to hitch even when I owned a car). Got hunners of stories, which would you like first? Here's four options, nae doing them all:

 

The 18 hours Cornwall to Leicester with the weirdo and his fluffy windscreen toys; or

The Granda's funeral overnighter - 450 miles including a great lift from Tebay to Aberdeen - but the hun cunt made me walk the last 2 miles; or

Peter D'Savaray's (sp?) son trying on the poofer stuff? or

The smelly fuck that wouldn't get out my car at Arbroath turn off so me and my mate had to physically remove him.

 

 

This one some funny as fuck reading so far

[ChutneyLove]

This one some funny as fuck reading so far

Was hitching from Helston to Leicester. Quite a long hitch, and Cornwall notoriously bad for getting lifts in. Anyway, a mate gave me a lift to Redruth to give me a start. Wasn't the best time to be getting going, about 5 o'clock on a Saturday night. It took me about four lifts to get to Bodmin, and by this time it was about midnight. I stood out on the road and no-one is going past. I decide in the pitch black that my only way to get anywhere is to walk across Bodmin Moor - I must have been fucking mad - all kinds of weirdos in that neck of the woods. Which funny enough is what the police said to me when they stopped as they were driving the other way. I'd walked about 3 or 4 miles. They told me to get in and took me back to Bodmin, saying I could kip in their waiting room. I got bored about 3am and couldn't sleep, so decided to try my luck at the dual carriageway again. A car full of pished lassies pull up almost right away, saying they'll take me a few miles up the road. Was off track, but at least I was getting somewhere. They were passing vodka, wine and a number around the car, so my spirits were lifted. In a moment of stupidity I declined their offer to go to the party they were headed to (young and heading to my birds house who I thought I was in love with). Anyway, they drop me off at some random town - get picked up right away by some bloke who takes me to Liskeard. I was on a roll now, and got picked up really quick again by a bloke going to Launceston - who knew a bloke going to Taunton that morning. He drops me at his mates and all of a sudden I'm in Taunton. Feeling great, stick my thumb out and this weirdo stops in a green Fiat 126. The thing is tiny. He has a moustache. Once I got in I realised that you could hardly see out any of the windows for fluffy toys. Hunners of the wee radges. He starts driving, but doesn't say a word after asking me where I'm going. Because he's so quiet, the road noise from his car is unbelievable and I'm so tired, I start falling asleep. I keep thinking how rude it is to be sleeping, so say to myself - have a smoke, that'll keep you awake. So I pick up the packet of fags and light one up - that is when I remember that I didn't have any fags and they are his. Anyway, he still doesn't say anything, the only noise coming from him is Darth Vader esque breathing. Eventually, we get to where the M42 crosses the M5, he pulls over and looks at me - I took it that meant I had to get out, said goodbye to him and his zoo and was fairly happy. The next lift I got was someone who was going within a few miles of my destination who actually took me right to my birds house. That hitch took me about 13 hours to get out of Cornwall, then 5 hours the rest of the way to Leicester.

[boboisared]

Was driving from Ayshire to Aberdeen - though had to stop in Perth. My mate and I had just burnt out his Fiesta on a country road in Perth the week before and the police wanted to see him about some paperwork. Turns out when we got to Perth the reason they wanted to see him was to charge him with dumping the car. We had written directions to the place we were going to burn out the car on a scrap of paper - anyway, he dropped his end of the scrap of paper where we torched the jalopy. Unfortunately the scrap of paper we'd used was a receipt of his for buying petrol earlier that night - put paid to his story of not having seen the car for a few days. Anyway, we leave the copshop in Perth and start driving North. As we are getting on to the dualler there is a fat bloke with a beard hitching - being a hitcher myself I slow down to pick him up - my mate says not to as he wants to go over what he's going to do re the coppers. Too late, the fatso has the door open and is in the car - within 1 second I realise this is a mistake, because he smells like pishy corner fae under Debenhams. I then tell him we're going to Arbroath so that we don't have to take him so far. We get to the Arbroath turn on the A92 and I stop across from it. He just sits there. I said, "Ok mate, this is as far as we're going". He starts disputing where we are heading, saying he knows we're going to Aberdeen. Anyway, cue an argument about how it doesn't matter where we're going he's got to get out. He sits there, arms folded and won't budge. My mate and I then get out - the bloke is about the size of the two of us and start struggling with him - he eventually gives and stumbles about at the side of the road. We get back in the car and drive off, not even taking the turn off to Arbroath. I could see him in the rear view mirror shouting and swearing - in fact he looked like he was trying to run after the car. Later, when we're just about in Portlethen, we're both laughing about the bloke - but swear we can still smell him. Turns out he's left his stinky gloves in the footwell of the back seat - think that's why he was chasing after us. Don't normally litter, but those bad boys were launched out the window somewhere near Portlethen Golf Club. Could still smell the cunt weeks later, car needed a full detail with fabric wash.

:hysterical:

[tup]

Some huns were deposited in Dunkeld last year after their bus was stopped on the way to Caley game and searched for drink.

 

Anyway, my pal is driving north by himself, three huns thumbing it on the A9 just outside Dunkeld.

 

He slows down, and stops a hundred yards ahead.

 

Cue huns running toward the car, they get to within 10 yards and he floors it, giving them the v'sers into the bargain.

 

[looksgoodinred]

Tell us another story Chutney? Please?

[ChutneyLove]

Tell us another story Chutney? Please?

What about the one when I murdered the backpacker?

[buchanskii]

What about the one when I murdered the backpacker?

 

No, Silly!

 

The one where you raped THEN murdered the backpacker!

 

[BrianFaePerth]

No, Silly!

 

The one where you raped THEN murdered the backpacker!

 

 

Eh thought it was Don In Oz that was responsible for the Peter Falconio incident

[looksgoodinred]

What about the one when I murdered the backpacker?

 

fitever you fancy.

[ChutneyLove]

No, Silly!

 

The one where you raped THEN murdered the backpacker!

 

The "rape" is after the murder, just in case they get away and speak. Up here for thinking.

[ebbe]

July 1985 was the last time I hitch-hiked. Did it for about 2 weeks with my old man around Scotland.

 

A poor bastards holiday but character building and actually ended up being a lot of fun (even if there was a shit load of walking involved): hitch-hiking and staying in youth hostels.

 

I know it was July 85 because we set off on the day Live Aid was on.

 

Would I pick up a hitch-hiker? These days nope. In the past I have though.

 

Would I hitch-hike these days? Not a chance.

 

if that is you in that photo i can assure you no-one will either take a lift from you, nor pick you up.

 

this is a fact.

[King Street Loon]

if that is you in that photo i can assure you no-one will either take a lift from you, nor pick you up.

 

this is a fact.