Annoying Things About Working In An Office

[Nelly]

Middle Management who wear a clip on their belt to hold their Blackberry, which is checked on an almost secondly basis.

 

That's what i love about the office environment, having twats like this to laugh at, using stupid buzzwords and americanisms in meetings, getting animated everytime they read an email on their blackberry as if the company's about to implode if they don't 'get on it'.

 

Even better is newly promoted middle management. Watching them slowly change their behaviour to try and fit in with their peers, updating their wardrobe to become a clone of the senior management and then having to listen to them talk to you 'on behalf of the management team'.

[granite sheep]

The mark of an utter cunt: the office smart cunt (yes, the HSE rep fae the last post, he's still there) that come to a boy's long service award, just so he can have a skive off work. Showed his utter lack of respect by blanking the guy on his way outta the meeting room, although he did it right in front o the Western Hemisphere President, so hopefully that goes doon well, however this wee arrogant shite is thought of as management material, fuck knows how though!

[StandFree1982]

That's what i love about the office environment, having twats like this to laugh at, using stupid buzzwords and americanisms in meetings, getting animated everytime they read an email on their blackberry as if the company's about to implode if they don't 'get on it'.

 

Even better is newly promoted middle management. Watching them slowly change their behaviour to try and fit in with their peers, updating their wardrobe to become a clone of the senior management and then having to listen to them talk to you 'on behalf of the management team'.

Aye I had a guy like that in my previous job who was a complete cuntbag. The CEO thought he was like the golden boy so he'd end up in roles that he didn't deserve. He got punted from one project only to land on a better one. He was your typical big headed cocknosed anal tonging fuckwit that you see brownosing with the big wigs and spoke to everyone else like shit. I used to give him as good as he got, he didn't like that much. Oddly, he was actually alright when you spoke with him on his own outside of work.

[StandFree1982]

You know a guy is going to turn into a middle management cunt when as soon as they get their promotion, they suddenly start taking an interest in golf. A sport that, before this promotion, had never played before.

[Ke1t]

Meetings in general, especially the meeting about the meeting before the meeting.

 

Or folk that issue a "pre read" before a meeting because the learnt it on some course then proceed to regurgitate the pre read word for word, so whats the point in the meeting at all now....?

 

When I was learning COBOL my teacher was exactly like that.

 

He'd give you a 5 page hand-out, then stand at the front of the class reading the hand-out Verbatim.

 

It would have been a better use of my time simply to buy a book and learn from that... which is essentially what we had to do.

[daytripping]

So the boring cunts aren't limited to where Mobby visits?

 

Touche!

[daytripping]

Every out of office message says on "Vacation", fuck off yer on holiday.

[NorthernLights24]

Every office seems to have that annoying cougher. You're sitting there getting on with things and there is a constant background noise of someone clearing their throat.

[zander]

Add a list to of cunts in offices,

 

Payroll staff who tell you your pay is correct when it's clearly not then when proved on this tell you to check with someone else.

[muttonhumper]

Loud mouthed cunts completely full of shit.

 

Cabinets that covers lassie's erses as they walk past.

 

Cunts coming roon wie birthday/leaving/awati drop cards needing signed for folk I dinna even ken, then priducing an envelope wi cash inside. Often pit a fiver in and tak a tenner oot.

 

Fucked up air conditioning systems that either freeze yer bollocks aff, or melt fuck oot o ye.

Nae in between.

 

Fuckpigs that steal your stuff from fridges.

 

Crap bacon rolls.

 

My phone ringing. Fuck off!

 

IT halfwits.

 

Town halls and the pish spouted forward therein.

 

Cunts stealing my stickies.

 

Freeloaders and hangers on who clearly do fuck all but bleed contracts dry.

 

Etc

 

 

 

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 2

 

 

[Ke1t]

 

 

Cunts coming roon wie birthday/leaving/awati drop cards needing signed for folk I dinna even ken, then priducing an envelope wi cash inside. Often pit a fiver in and tak a tenner oot.

 

 

 

Once worked in a place like that... got so bad you were literally signing a card a day for people you didn't even know, and being expected to contribute.

 

On one particular day there were no less than three fucking cards to sign, and I got confused and put a 'wedding' message in some dick's retirement card, leading to said card-wielder launching into a tirade at me as if she thought I actually gave a fuck about her card . So she was put right with a few choice words, and she complained to HR... then they got onto me as if they thought I gave a fuck about that inna

 

One thing about the office environment is everyone seems to think you need to give a fuck about them, which is funny to me.

[ebbe]

simply working in an office would do my tits in.

[King Street Loon]

Every office seems to have that annoying cougher. You're sitting there getting on with things and there is a constant background noise of someone clearing their throat.

I can't help it.

I'd make a right racket if I cleared my throat in one go.

[King Street Loon]

simply working in an office would do my tits in.

Perving on office fanny is good though.

[ChutneyLove]

Fuckpigs that steal your stuff from fridges.

 

Wise up MH, one of the best things about working in an office is going to the kitchen mid-morning for a bit of a graze through other folks stuff. A particular favourite of mine is taking an isolated bite out of something and replacing it.

[granite sheep]

On the bus to work, cunts with zero social skills blatantly reading your paper while you're reading it. There's a Nigerian chap on one o the airport buses who takes it one step further- god forbid if you're on the fitba pages as he'll attempt to strike up a conversation and won't quit till you answer him.

[a don in oz]

Single biggest hate of mine in offices is being expected to pick up a "group dial" shit. Fuck that. If someone wants me, they call me. If someone wants someone else, they call them. If they don't get them.... well, they can try again later can't they?

 

I went around the office around me a while back putting all the phones on mute. Was bliss. No "can you get that?" prairie dog shit anymore. Bliss. Silence. Ah...

[a don in oz]

Ah, reading above: the old trumped up secretary syndrome.

 

First time I encountered that was in the UK and I'm working away and tarted up girl comes in.

"Aye give me a minute, I'll get to you once I'm done here."

-"Ahem!"

"I'm busy here. Hold on."

-"I'm more important. I'm the PA to the MD!"

 

Classic. I'm the PA to the MD.

[rgudon]

Every out of office message says on "Vacation", fuck off yer on holiday.

 

or "Annual Leave", wanks.

[Huntlysheep]

Love being a welder. Office free.

[Karl Fletcher]

I usually put 'annual leave' on my out of office

 

'Holiday' just doesna seem quite right for some reason.

 

Might as well put "I'm out on the fucking razz for the long weekend, call the office for anything urgent, see if I give a shit. Back on Tuesday yi cunts"

[rgudon]

I usually put 'annual leave' on my out of office

 

'Holiday' just doesna seem quite right for some reason.

 

Might as well put "I'm out on the fucking razz for the long weekend, call the office for anything urgent, see if I give a shit. Back on Tuesday yi cunts"

 

Poor show Karl, poor show.

[Poodler]

I'm amazed by this thread. It seems soul destroying to work in an office. I cant even wear a tie. I refuse to wear a tie for anything, weddings, funerals, interviews. I once did and I honestly felt like I was part of Ricky Gervais' 'The Office'. Honestly, how can you spend 40 hours a week wearing a tie, putting up with office jargon and people who think they are more important?

 

My work recently introduced 'No drinking water at the desk'. I cant even cope with that, I got a disciplinary hearing for constantly flaunting the rule. Fuck off, its water, I need water, it takes longer to walk to the kitchen. Some folk min. Who actually sat there and said 'Work would be a better place if we restrict where people can drink'. Zoomers.

[Karl Fletcher]

I only wear a tie if I'm meeting a client.

 

 

My work recently introduced 'No drinking water at the desk'.

 

Surely to fuck that's illegal?

[Bluto10]

I usually put 'annual leave' on my out of office

 

'Holiday' just doesna seem quite right for some reason.

 

Might as well put "I'm out on the fucking razz for the long weekend, call the office for anything urgent, see if I give a shit. Back on Tuesday yi cunts"

never knew loading bay monkeys had email these days?

[Poodler]

I only wear a tie if I'm meeting a client.

 

 

 

Surely to fuck that's illegal?

 

 

I did indeed argue it is my basic human right to drink water but was told to use the designated 'water spots' which is indeed the kitchen only. There's no computers around or anything, it just looks bad to the public.

 

'What do the public think when they see you standing there drinking out of a water bottle? Not got nothing better to do?'

 

'Are you serious? They will think I am thirsty'.

[BrianFaePerth]

Just started a new joab yesterday, and overall it's going great, thanks for asking.

 

But, yesterday eftirnoon the boy eh sit beside (a septic) starts crunching sunflower seeds, loudly. Eh was soon hoping he would choke on the fuckers. Luckily today he hasnae eaten any, and just burps regularly.

 

Thank fuck we are all moving desks next week.

[The Boofon]

I usually put 'annual leave' on my out of office 'Holiday' just doesna seem quite right for some reason. Might as well put "I'm out on the fucking razz for the long weekend, call the office for anything urgent, see if I give a shit. Back on Tuesday yi cunts"

I don't bother with an "out of office"

 

I know it annoys people who think you've actually received their email but haven't responded.

[BrianFaePerth]

I don't bother with an "out of office"

 

I know it annoys people who think you've actually received their email but haven't responded.

 

Thank you for your email but I am either currently:

 

In a cupboard

Running like fuck across the desert

Being interrogated by the feds

In Las Vegas

 

 

 

In case your matter is urgent please contact Sky or any other media outlet and they will contact me.

[muttonhumper]