Annoying Things About Working In An Office

[Ingolfsson]

Cunts that run in the office to and from the printers etc. Fucking gimps.

[Pash]

I whisper when I'm in there, like a library!

 

You not allowed headphones or just not bother?

Not allowed headphones and loads of new starts that are all too scared to speak so silence all day. Luckily I am across the road testing bits and bobs and playing with parts and assemblies so don't have to sit in here all day. You get the odd laugh from everyone when someones phone goes off cos they forgot to put it on silent then it goes straight back to silence again.

[rgudon]

Not allowed headphones and loads of new starts that are all too scared to speak so silence all day. Luckily I am across the road testing bits and bobs and playing with parts and assemblies so don't have to sit in here all day. You get the odd laugh from everyone when someones phone goes off cos they forgot to put it on silent then it goes straight back to silence again.

 

you work for the Gestapo or something, nae allowed headphone......!?

[daytripping]

you work for the Gestapo or something, nae allowed headphone......!?

 

That was my first thought, get out of there min!

[BrianFaePerth]

there was once a contractor who worked here. she ate only legumes all day though. and she farted a lot. that caused some annoyance for the woman who sat near her. luckily, she didn't stick around long.

 

 

..whereas the fart smell......

[looksgoodinred]

..whereas the fart smell......

 

went with her, thankfully

[Kilkito]

Hang on, is this what the world has come to? Are you saying that headphones SHOULD be allowed at work?

 

Holy fuck, what sort of menial "work" are we talking here?

 

Thats exactly what I thought when I read that. I must be getting old.

[Ke1t]

The thing that bugged me most about offices were;

 

Fuckers with their tongues right up the boss' arse.

Bosses who didn't realise there were members of staff who had their tongues up said bosses arses

Bosses who were literally (not figuratively, literally dumber than vegetables.

Bosses who had no people skills

The 'Corporate' environment... "We're going to watch an orientation video" "Here's the new company logo"

Members of staff who acted like pricks

Having to wear a shirt and tie

Being one in a sea of faceless employees

Bosses who actually bullied junior members of staff.

Artificial lighting 8 hours a day minimum

Miserable fuckers who actually go out of their way to obstruct you

Members of staff who act as a 'spy' for bosses

Having to start at a specific time, with no flexibility

Not being your own boss

Bosses who randomly rifle through your desk for...?

Cliques

The delight bosses take when it's redundancy season, gleefully reminding everyone that "Folk are getting let go the morn, mind"

Office parties. The most depressing activity ever invented

[dervish]

Hate folk speaking to me when I'm reading and eating at lunch, especially about work.

 

Thick, thick people with complete and undying confidence in their completely wrong opinions (normally spurted out from some half understood thing someone else said or corp propaganda pish*).

 

Scheming or game playing of any form. That's also linked to my dislike of not being allowed to explicitly tell cunts they are cunts.

 

*Actually have seen grown men stick up posters with generic buzz word pish on it. Then without any sense of irony say "That's important that's what we are, we live that.".

[daytripping]

Hang on, is this what the world has come to? Are you saying that headphones SHOULD be allowed at work?

 

Holy fuck, what sort of menial "work" are we talking here?

 

Drafty's, Engineers, stuff like that, a lot of their work is long boring time consuming and doesn't require a lot of thinking, music at work is a basic human right, I like having music on when working. I don't wear headphones just have the radio or tunes on.

[daytripping]

Hate safety meetings with a passion, because they're scheduled for an hour some safety guy makes sure they last that long, some crap like an environment quiz or something is used to fill the time, please just fuck off.

[The Boofon]

Hate safety meetings with a passion, because they're scheduled for an hour some safety guy makes sure they last that long, some crap like an environment quiz or something is used to fill the time, please just fuck off.

They are very important meetings and should be over an hour long to get maximum benefit.

[daytripping]

-1

[Bluto10]

office sensibles

 

fuddy duddys who frown on you orderi g abeer over a work lunch

 

hold the hand rail

 

dress codes (in here i dont have that, its great)

 

canteen food

 

the surrounding area

[jassb]

Our canteen food is pretty good.

[Ke1t]

office sensibles

 

fuddy duddys who frown on you orderi g abeer over a work lunch

 

hold the hand rail

 

dress codes (in here i dont have that, its great)

 

canteen food

 

the surrounding area

 

One of my bosses was okay like that with the beers.

 

Lunchtime would often see us going to Nick's 22nd Steakhouse, getting hammered at the bar and maybe doing a cheeky line or two on special occasions, then back to work to do some fucking business.

 

Now THAT was what office work should be all about.

[Bluto10]

aye good for a canteen probably

[daytripping]

aye good for a canteen probably

 

You forget these lads are nae fine food Michelin star connoisseurs like us mate, take it easy on them

[Bluto10]

ha ha true.

 

one mans ceiling is anothers mans floor

 

[jassb]

Its better than a lot of restaurants. Today was reggae reggae chicken or haddock with a poached egg. Alway 2 options. Then there's soup and a veggie option. Or if nothing takes your fancy, baked tat ties, stir fry, or salad bar (with meats, prawns, pork pies, etc). All for £2.50. A bar would help but our HSE won't allow it.

[Byrne Baby Byrne]

I hate it when people are incredibly interested in what you're having for lunch.

 

"Ooo tuna sandwich again Karl?"

 

"Yes, now clear off and leave me in peace"

 

The next day:

 

"Oh that smells fine, what kind of soup is that?"

 

 

Yes!!!! Hate it. With a passion! A real burning passion.

 

"Ooh, that's a crunchy apple you've got there"

 

Fuck off

[dervish]

They are very important meetings and should be over an hour long to get maximum benefit.

 

Worst ever.

 

Our canteen tubes on the tills rack up your bill like bingo. Same thing every day, every day a different price.

[dj_bollocks]

Consultants and Accountants who know fuck all about the business, just about how to increase profit and sell you bullshit...

 

Team building and office morale officers. Now I'm all for a bit of this, but when it comes an excuse for moany cunts to unleash all their fucking niggles, you can fuck right off. Don't like it here and the way it's run ? You can always fuck off and work somewhere else. Don't get me wrong, a fun working environment is good to have. But it's work, it's not a fucking social club and it's also not the place for you to manifest your social disfunction.

 

From a happy self employed company owner !

[King Street Loon]

Our canteen food is pretty good.

The canteen where I'm working just now is decent too.

And free.

[jassb]

Free is good. Are you offshore then?

[King Street Loon]

Was, only very occasionally now.

Stuck in an office now.

The Chinese recently acquired said company.

[rgudon]

On a conference call right now, as soon as things start to become a bit difficult (i.e someone making a decision), "eeehh can we take that one offline"

[terenceandphilip]

just about everything. really, just about everything.

 

to keep it generic, the mundanely bizzarre way in which peer pressure seems to set in and people start obeying group norms without realising they're doing it.

I treat work as prison, but I get home in the evenings and out for lunch or yard time.. I also get the legal minimum holidays, which i appreciate americans would struggle to get.

 

 

 

Furthemore, to be slightly more specific, I abhor office and business lingo and chat. Holidays are holidays not 'annual leave'. I'm here to earn money, not out of choice. I'm not crazily fascinated by what goes on at work and do not return keener after weekends but duller. Holidays lift my spirits enormously to the point i rediscover my lust for life, returning to the office nearly kills me.

 

Anyone who is more enthused for the office after a holiday than before it needs shot or a good psychiatrist.

 

 

ps monday holidays should be sacred, shared time off work is communal and builds communities and a sense of communal well being. How the f3ck Scotland manages to not celebrate easter grinds every gear in my body, it is the only christian country in the world that doesnt.

[dervish]

This kinda shit:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fy3rjQGc6lA

[Ke1t]

Fat birds in the office who bring in cakes/biscuits/sweeties for "everyone" but once they've offered everyone they sit there and gobble the rest down one after the other which was the real reason for them taking them in in the first place.<br /><br />Also seems to be the fatties who talk the most mince first thing on Monday too, as if they've had no other human interaction since closing time on Friday.<br /><br />

I like the fatties.

 

We used to give them names... I remember Burgers and 12 Pints were two...

 

Smashing lassies, but not even with Daytripping's cock.

 

The wanker.