The Pish Christmas Present Thread

[Fridge]

Already anticipating the usual absolute pish “stocking fillers” I’ll be getting from

relatives tomorrow so feel free to stick any belters on here.

 

Every year I try and drop hints to buy me fuck all and just get the kids. Every year I get some outrageous shit that goes clean in the cupboard never to be looked at.

 

Before anyone say’s it’s the thought that counts, it’s fucking nae when clearly they have just picked up a “bloke” ’thing” from the discount bin - a book on DIY or a Football hilarious mishaps DVD.

 

Think my favourite was a balaclava. Was a tough one to not laugh at.

[Guest milne_afc]

I hear Tup is getting his kids a dog. Apparently at least one of his tribe was an avid reader of AFC-Chat, so merry Xmas, Tup Jnr.

[1903Fitba]

I’ve got 8g of cocaine

 

So I’m as happy as Larry

 

The bird will be disappointed with the chlamydia I got for her.

Larry the boy who gave you the clap?

[caledonia]

Wife asked for something with a nice fragrance

So bought her a car air freshener

[For Fecks Sake]

3 pair pack of stripey socks from the kids.... Lovely

[For Fecks Sake]

I'd love to buy my other half some sexy lingerie but.., well., she's a bit of a pig so, waste of money.

 

Lat year I got a pair of size 8 Puma (total shite) trainers. Im a ten. There was no gift receipt. They cost 9.99.

Were they a matching pair though?

 

Yeah the amount of pish presents that do the rounds is unbelievable. Actually I would rather you bought me nothing as opposed to some utter pish that I will never use.... Despite smiling and going OTT saying thanks far too much.

[Ke1t]

Already anticipating the usual absolute pish “stocking fillers” I’ll be getting from

relatives tomorrow so feel free to stick any belters on here.

 

Every year I try and drop hints to buy me fuck all and just get the kids. Every year I get some outrageous shit that goes clean in the cupboard never to be looked at.

 

Before anyone say’s it’s the thought that counts, it’s fucking nae when clearly they have just picked up a “bloke” ’thing” from the discount bin - a book on DIY or a Football hilarious mishaps DVD.

 

Think my favourite was a balaclava. Was a tough one to not laugh at.

 

Would be delighted with a balaclava.  

 

Functional and useful, and you can affect an Irish accent when you're outside chopping firewood... like an IRA lumberjack.

 

Which reminds me of the following joke... 

 

Two unemployed Irish lads are out looking for work. They see a help wanted ad for lumberjacks... "Aw, it's too bad there's only the two of us, Murphy" says Patrick, "It says here they're lookin for tree fellers." 

 

Anyway, balaclavas. Handy as fuck. 

[Poodler]

I have a balaclava. Useful for mindless vandalism.

 

 

Anyway, picked work over that horrendous awkwardness of opening things in front of people.

 

See you in the big hoose, later

[For Fecks Sake]

I have a balaclava. Useful for mindless vandalism.

 

 

Anyway, picked work over that horrendous awkwardness of opening things in front of people.

 

See you in the big hoose, later

The older I get (and my kids) the more minded I am to find an excuse to get out of doing just that - hence the impromptu family holiday. No family, no in laws = no hassle.

[Poodler]

Well played FFS. To hell with pleasantries and tradition. Do what's right for you (and the sprogs)

[For Fecks Sake]

Only draw back of being away is not being able to attend the Livi away game PG carnage session.

 

Is Tup or Millertime making an appearance at this by any chance?

[Poodler]

Tup wished the PG's well last night. Said we had his full support as the driving force of the Hat.

 

Hey, you're in a better place min, enjoy the sunshine.

 

I'm hoping @@Dad makes an 11th hour appearance

[BrianFaePerth]

That's good of tup, eh appreciate his good wishes. It's not easy being the top boy round here, eh see it from his viewpoint now.

 

Merry Christmas to all on the hat x

[Betty Swallicks]

I'd love to buy my other half some sexy lingerie but.., well., she's a bit of a pig so, waste of money.

 

Lat year I got a pair of size 8 Puma (total shite) trainers. Im a ten. There was no gift receipt. They cost 9.99. 

 

[The Buzzard]

Got the obligatory Lynx gift set from the old dear. Unreal.

[Zeus]

Nothing wrong with a lynx set imo....

 

Anti pesperant

Shower gel

Body spray.

 

 

All perfectbly usuable...

[Cowie]

Nothing wrong with a lynx set imo....

Anti pesperant

Shower gel

Body spray.

All perfectbly usuable...

For setting fires?

[BrianFaePerth]

I prefer a more fruity fragrance I must admit.

Like your men.

[reekie_dock]

 

Waaaaaaahey guess who

[ebbe]

Got a lavvie ashtray.

[shut up meg]

 

Waaaaaaahey guess who

 

 

Tup & Morag?

[shut up meg]

Got a lavvie ashtray.

 

You'd only need to empty it once a year.

[The Boofon]

 

Waaaaaaahey guess who

Hahaha

[Zeus]

For setting fires?

Before a night out at the FM/Foundry

[Fridge]

Disappointing, worst I got was a horrendous t-shirt and a book on how to survive a duel.

 

Not a chance either will ever be seeing anything other that the skip.

[manboobs109]

I once bought my brother the worst present ever, the script to A Fish Called Wanda. Paperback. Not much thought went into it.

[dazzy_deff]

I once bought my brother the worst present ever, the script to A Fish Called Wanda. Paperback. Not much thought went into it.

Disappointed...

[BWG]

Nothing wrong with a lynx set imo....

Anti pesperant

Shower gel

Body spray.

All perfectbly usuable...

Aye

 

 

 

 

If you are a 14 year old virgin.

[Henry]

 

Did alright out of Secret Santa this year

[dave_min]

Aye

 

If you are a 14 year old virgin.

You’ve changed.

 

Fucking sellout.

 

Lynx4lyf