What Advice Would You Have Given Your Younger Self?

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

12 hours ago, Betty Swallicks said:

Not if Shaun Ryder is going about.

 

Never knew he kept doos min. 

He's very versatile it seems, Mr. Ryder.

A singer with two bands, songwriter, tv personality, newspaper columnist, author, and aviarist.

[Reed or deed]

27 minutes ago, don corleone said:

When you're 19 and the gorgeous blond northern Irish bar maid from the pub across from your work asks you out for a drink, firmly tell her to fuck off. This night ends with her flicking on her bedroom light switch and you being faced by a massive union flag on the ceiling and Hun posters and a red hand of Ulster on her walls, she will then go on to tell you the charming story of her birthday being on the 12th if July and how her daddy would take her to the marches as a special treat. You will then go ahead, against you're better judgement and bang her anyway and wake in the morning soaked in the kind of shame that not even caustic soda and a wire brush can remove. Honestly,I'm amazed our cock didn't fall off. Just don't do it, it wasn't worth the shame, you go on to bang plenty of other nice normal lassies. Please, it's a memory that will make you shudder even to this day when recalled. Anyway I'm of to self flagellate as penance for that crime.

I take it you had been smuggled upstairs in a suitcase, blinfdfolded and remained blindfolded during your time in the bedroom up until the light on point, given you never “noticed” any of that shite 🤔

[Fridge]

37 minutes ago, don corleone said:

When you're 19 and the gorgeous blond northern Irish bar maid from the pub across from your work asks you out for a drink, firmly tell her to fuck off. This night ends with her flicking on her bedroom light switch and you being faced by a massive union flag on the ceiling and Hun posters and a red hand of Ulster on her walls, she will then go on to tell you the charming story of her birthday being on the 12th if July and how her daddy would take her to the marches as a special treat. You will then go ahead, against you're better judgement and bang her anyway and wake in the morning soaked in the kind of shame that not even caustic soda and a wire brush can remove. Honestly,I'm amazed our cock didn't fall off. Just don't do it, it wasn't worth the shame, you go on to bang plenty of other nice normal lassies. Please, it's a memory that will make you shudder even to this day when recalled. Anyway I'm of to self flagellate as penance for that crime.

I have also nailed a Hun, did feel a bit of shame but she was 8/10 and I was young and pissed. Never spoke to her again obviously. Still get reminded about it every now and again. I’d like to think I’d have the principles to not do it now but you can never tell in a moment of weakness.

[Roberto]

2 minutes ago, Fridge said:

I have also nailed a Hun, did feel a bit of shame but she was 8/10 and I was young and pissed. Never spoke to her again obviously. Still get reminded about it every now and again. I’d like to think I’d have the principles to not do it now but you can never tell in a moment of weakness.

Paedo

[Fridge]

7 minutes ago, Roberto said:

Paedo

Ha, yeah that doesn’t actually sound too good now I’ve read it back. To clarify it was her it was her 16th birthday that day.

[BrianFaePerth]

3 minutes ago, Fridge said:

Ha, yeah that doesn’t actually sound too good now I’ve read it back. To clarify it was her it was her 16th birthday that day.

What a present, fridge bearing down on you. It’s the thought that counts

[Parklife]

I went out with a hun back in high school and early Uni days. 

Fucked her on the school stage, as it happens. A proud moment. Very near got caught and had to make use of the fire escape (not a euphemism). 

 

[Parklife]

Just now, Sooper-hanz said:

You went to Uni? 

Yeah. I don't like to mention it though. 

[dazzy_deff]

39 minutes ago, Fridge said:

I have also nailed a Hun, did feel a bit of shame but she was 8/10 and I was young and pissed. Never spoke to her again obviously. Still get reminded about it every now and again. I’d like to think I’d have the principles to not do it now but you can never tell in a moment of weakness.

Common knowledge within the experienced posters on here - but im married to a hun. Shes older than 8 or 10 though. 

[Hoofball]

8 minutes ago, dazzy_deff said:

Common knowledge within the experienced posters on here - but im married to a hun. Shes older than 8 or 10 though. 

Have you ever attempted to get her away from the dark side. 

[dazzy_deff]

Just now, Hoofball said:

Have you ever attempted to get her away from the dark side. 

She's not really interested in football to be honest. Just from a Rangers supporting family - her dad is from Maryhill. Ive taken her to one Dons game (we beat Celtic when Hayes scored the screamer to stop Forster's clean sheet record run). 

She will claim she supports Rangers to wind me up, but show her a photo of McCoist and she wont have a clue who he is. 

[Misers Hill]

30 minutes ago, Parklife said:

Yeah. I don't like to mention it though. 

How many degrees bud🤔

[dazzy_deff]

1 minute ago, Misers Hill said:

How many degrees bud🤔

3. 

Love "When Will I See You Again"

[Parklife]

1 minute ago, Misers Hill said:

How many degrees bud🤔

Three Degrees. When will I see them again? 

[Parklife]

Just now, dazzy_deff said:

3. 

Love "When Will I See You Again"

Fuck sake. 

[Hoofball]

16 minutes ago, dazzy_deff said:

She's not really interested in football to be honest. Just from a Rangers supporting family - her dad is from Maryhill. Ive taken her to one Dons game (we beat Celtic when Hayes scored the screamer to stop Forster's clean sheet record run). 

She will claim she supports Rangers to wind me up, but show her a photo of McCoist and she wont have a clue who he is. 

So a not really a hun or football fan in general, how’s your relationship with the in-laws tho 😂

Wife’s grandad (deceased) was a hun according to her dad, my eldest was mortified when she found out and called the wife a hun for a couple of days

[don corleone]

1 hour ago, Parklife said:

You've got a shared cock? 

In this case, yes. Shared with my younger self with whom I am talking.

[don corleone]

1 hour ago, Reed or deed said:

I take it you had been smuggled upstairs in a suitcase, blinfdfolded and remained blindfolded during your time in the bedroom up until the light on point, given you never “noticed” any of that shite 🤔

What? She lived in a shared flat, these things were in her bedroom, which when we entered was in darkness. It was only when she switched on the bedside lamp that the room was illuminated enough for me to see the true horror of the situation. 

[BaaBaaRedSheep]

Back in the day trapped a bird with a speech impediment. 

Only realised when she asked if I fancied a wide.

Job done, bought her a vodka and owange and fucked off.

[NEM]

25 minutes ago, Hoofball said:

So a not really a hun or football fan in general, how’s your relationship with the in-laws tho 😂

Wife’s grandad (deceased) was a hun according to her dad, my eldest was mortified when she found out and called the wife a hun for a couple of days

She's been brought up well

[sigh]

55 minutes ago, dazzy_deff said:

She's not really interested in football to be honest. Just from a Rangers supporting family - her dad is from Maryhill. Ive taken her to one Dons game (we beat Celtic when Hayes scored the screamer to stop Forster's clean sheet record run). 

She will claim she supports Rangers to wind me up, but show her a photo of McCoist and she wont have a clue who he is. 

Is your wifes name Mary?

Does she have legs like a spider?

[Ohjimmyjimmy]

1 hour ago, Parklife said:

I went out with a hun back in high school and early Uni days. 

Fucked her on the school stage, as it happens. A proud moment. Very near got caught and had to make use of the fire escape (not a euphemism). 

 

Didn’t know you were a schoolteacher Parky.

😂

[Poodler]

1 hour ago, dazzy_deff said:

3. 

Love "When Will I See You Again"

Had to double check that was you making that reference

impressive knowledge tbh, great band/ song. 

[dazzy_deff]

13 minutes ago, Poodler said:

Had to double check that was you making that reference

impressive knowledge tbh, great band/ song. 

My musical knowledge pisses over yours pal. Don't be fooled my friend.

[dazzy_deff]

1 hour ago, Hoofball said:

So a not really a hun or football fan in general, how’s your relationship with the in-laws tho 😂

Wife’s grandad (deceased) was a hun according to her dad, my eldest was mortified when she found out and called the wife a hun for a couple of days

Get on well with the in laws. Great family. Her dad is a sensible hun to be fair, nae interested in the nonsense and actually speaks sense about fitba without being blinkered. 

[styrofoamplates]

4 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

What’s impressive about knowing a household name group and one of their best known songs ? 

It's more impressive to name the members: Cyrille Regis, Laurie Cunningham and Brendon Batson. What a group of lads. 

[chief_wiggum]

8 minutes ago, dazzy_deff said:

 a sensible hun

Nae having that, next you will be believing in unicorns and mermaids

[Hoofball]

13 minutes ago, dazzy_deff said:

Get on well with the in laws. Great family. Her dad is a sensible hun to be fair, nae interested in the nonsense and actually speaks sense about fitba without being blinkered. 

You’ve struck it lucky there, a sensible hun is very rare to find

[Parklife]

2 minutes ago, Hoofball said:

You’ve struck it lucky there, a sensible hun is very rare to find

Love Fergal Sharkey. 

[Misers Hill]

1 hour ago, Sooper-hanz said:

[enter Parkie stage left. He is holding a tub of ‘I can’t believe it’s not Butter’]

Is this a scene from Toast of London 🤔