Jump to content

Jokes for today


Edwin Starr

Recommended Posts


On a similar level then:

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

What's brown and sticky? A stick

Did ye hear about the guy that swallowed bricks? He a wa' noo

What's blue and smells like paint? Blue paint

What's red and smells like paint? Red paint

Where does a general keep his armies? Up his sleevies

Where do caravans go when they die? Haven

Why did the kettle fall down the stairs? Cause it was steaming

Why do monsters not eat ghosts? Cause they taste like sheet

What's a dentist's favourite time of day? 2.30

Did you hear about the magic tractor? Turned into a field

Did you hear about the magic car? Turned into a side st

What's green and smells o bacon? Kermit's fingers

What do Winnie the poo and Kermit the frog have in common? Both have the same middle name

What did the bus driver say to the guy WI nae legs? How ye getting on?

What dae ye call a guy WI nae legs laying at the front door? Matt

Met a guy at the cashline standing on one leg... Turns out he was checking his balance

Knock knock... Who's there... A wee guy... A wee guy who... A wee guy who cannae reach the doorbell

How did the Farmer find a girlfriend? He tractor down

Why were the bakers hands brown?

He kneaded a poo

 

Glad Halloween is over, just waiting for the Christmas crackers now.....

  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Just now, Studebaker-90 said:

I mean the thread title should have been the clue. I still prefer paedos to the hunters though (a topic discussed many time on here) 

I used to watch a few paedo hunter videos on YouTube (Shane Brannigan, GOTN, etc.).

I stopped watching them after a while as the paedos they apprehended got next to fuck all when up before the beaks in court.

Link to comment
53 minutes ago, WesthillWanderersFC said:

Man walks into a pub with his pet giraffe.

He orders up 6 pints. 

He drinks 3. The giraffe drinks 3.

The giraffe crumbles to the floor.

The man turns and heads to leave the pub.

The barman says “Hoi, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!”

Man replies: “It’s not a lion, it’s a giraffe”. 

IMG-1910.gif

  • Haha 2
Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...